


He's Inevitable

by ohhipstaplease



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Falling In Love, It's a little kinky, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Older Harry Styles, Older Niall Horan, because big plot twist, but i have a feeling youll like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 62
Words: 74,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28450830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhipstaplease/pseuds/ohhipstaplease
Summary: "I know that perhaps he could never love me in the way I have realized that I love him, I am not delusional. I walked into love with him, with eyes wide open. Knowing full well the consequences of the feelings I had so blatantly accepted. But even that was not a choice. He's less of a choice and more like fate. He's inevitable."Being the daughter of Harry Styles and surrounded by the men of the once world-famous One Direction, Emma Grace Styles has had the life any teenage girl would be envious of. But there was one thing missing in Emma's seemingly perfect life, and he had left eight years ago. As her Uncle Niall suddenly comes crashing back into her life, she realizes that the love she has for him, as wrong as it may be, is inevitable. And that perhaps inevitability was only the beginning of their twisted love story.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s), Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

_in·ev·i·ta·ble_

_adj.Impossible to avoid or prevent; certain to happen._

If his face were ever to appear next to a definition in the dictionary, it would be next to this word. This word, this simple five-syllable adjective has managed to get me through the last eight years of my life with my heart still intact. When I was nine my father taught me the meaning of this word, this bloody word, and I can't help but feel that he is partly to blame for my undoing. For if he had not have taught me this word, my mind would not have immediately linked it to him. See, it's like learning by association, to me the word inevitable immediately recalls his arms around me, his thick voice over the phone soothing me, his face lighting up when he sees me running towards him. So if his face were every to appear next to a definition, it would most certainly be this one. It would be this word next to his absurdly handsome and rugged face.

Yet, as far as definitions go, he has changed every single one for me. Love, destiny, fate, promise, inevitable. Every word I can associate in some way with him. He has turned every aspect of my life into a mess that I am unable to cope with, and he has not even shown his face once in England for the past eight years. He has managed to take with him my first I love you, my first heartbreak, and my first true source of happiness. He was in every way the only person I had ever needed, and as I look back at the life I have led so far, at nineteen I believe that now more than ever, I love him with every fiber of my soul.

But then of course, loving someone like him would never bring any good. When you fall in love with a man who is sixteen years your senior, you relinquish any and all rights to a normal and stable life. When you fall in love with a man who has held you in his arms when you were sick and has smiled every time you drew him a picture, you accept the fact the love you have within in you will forever be unrequited and will never see the light of day. When you fall in love with your father's best mate, you don't get to imagine that you will get a happy ending with him. When you fall in love with a man who has seen you grow up, only to leave to lead his own life, you accept the fact that the love he has for you could never be the passionate love you feel for him.

Niall James Horan may be the unrequited love that will never come to be, he may be the one person I may keep coming back to knowing the outcome. But these eight years have taught me that inevitability does exist, love never falters and that without a doubt a heart can remain unscathed, even when it's traveled such a far distance for so long. Even if he were never to come back, I know that wherever he goes, my heart goes along with him. And even if he doesn't know it, maybe one day he will. It's inevitable after all, isn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

This house has become without a doubt the nosiest place I have ever inhabited. And I have lived on a concert stage for a better part of my childhood.

My little brother Ollie has been given a drum set by dad for his eighth birthday, and guess where the little bugger's room is.

"Ollie, for the love of God!" I hit the wall directly adjacent to his, only to be responded to by more incessant noise.

"A bloody drum kit, brilliant idea dad," I mutter to myself as I slip on a light jacket over my skirt and t-shirt and grab my purse. I'm sure anywhere would be better than here.

As I make my way down the stairs, dad's making a cuppa tea and slicing some bread.

"I'm going out," I say, expecting a response, but not getting any whatsoever. "Dad?" he doesn't even blink, only continues slicing in that infuriatingly slow fashion.

I tap his shoulder and he jumps, obviously startled, "Ems?" He brushes away a curl from his ear and pulls out an earplug, "Don't do that!"

"Are those earplugs?"

"Oh, these?" he points to the foam now in his palm. He smiles at me and shrugs, "Maybe."

"You didn't think about giving some of those to me. I have to sleep next to him, you know?"

He simply chuckles and looks at my outfit, "Are you going out?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you."

"Ah, well then. Don't be back too late."

I turn and head towards the door, "I'll be back when Ollie's asleep and at least five feet away from those bloody things."

As the cool summer air hits my skin I smile to myself and pull out my phone and dial Janice. As always, it is only after the first ring that she picks up, "Ems?"

"Jan, let's go to the pub, yeah?"

"You want to go to a pub, Ems?" She asks in a rather confused tone. The last time we had been to a pub was when we had just turned eighteen. We had ended up drinking only a pint each.

"We're almost twenty and have only been twice, what kind of bloody teenagers are we?"

"Alright, I'll put on something presentable."

"I'll meet you at five in front of your house!"

As I walk to Janice's house, I study the sky. Tonight it felt so much more vibrant. As if the stars were reaching out to kiss my pale skin. Besides the minor inconvenience with Ollie, tonight felt as if it would be mine.

"Ems!" I turn to look and see that I am already at her house, the walk shorter than usual. Janice runs towards me, wearing a cute pink dress I had given her last term.

"Hi, Janice," I say wrapping her in a hug. She steps back looking at me very confused.

"Have you started drinking without me, Ems?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You haven't hugged me in ages. You're not the hugging type." She says with a slight smile. My best friend had blossomed this summer, her brown mousy hair had grown thicker and longer, and as I suggested she had cut it into layers to make it look even better. The dress hugged her thin figure perfectly, showing off the chest I was always a bit jealous of.

"Tonight, I feel alive."

"You're bloody pissed." She says looking at me with a very amused smile.

"Janice, I haven't started drinking...yet. I don't know quite what's gotten into me, but let's make the most of it. Cheers, my love!" I say running out ahead of her.

"Emma, wait!" She runs after me, giggling wildly.

Tonight would most definitely be one of those nights.

\---

"One more Jan! Come on you can do it!"

Janice looks at me wearily, already more than a little tipsy. She looks at the glass I had placed in her hand and reluctantly swigged it back. It was like pure honey going down our throats, but the face she made had made it look otherwise.

I look towards the bar once more, more than a little pissed of my ass. I had been eyeing the tall stranger nursing a pint. He looked so good in the tight white t-shirt he was wearing, and although I hadn't seen his face, I could already tell it would be magnificent as well.

"Ems, if you want to snog him do it already. I don't want to sit here watching you drool over him all night."

I take another shot and smile, "Janice, I can't simply snog him. I don't even know him."

"Don't you ever want to let go a bit, Ems?"

"Don't you Janice?"

She smiles cockily whilst locking eyes with me, "You know I always follow your lead."

"Oh is that so?"

I watch as the stranger's heads to the loo and Janice follow my line of sight.

"I dare you to follow him into the loo and snog him."

I take one more shot as if it were the liquid courage I needed. I get up from my seat, adjust my skirt and then my hair, and then finally turn and wink at Janice.

"Challenge accepted."

\---

My head spins as I walk the short distance to the toilets. I was not this type of girl, not in any sort of way. But tonight, I wanted to be.

I open the door, which he had left unlocked, and smile to myself. I walk up behind him, switching off the lights.

"The fuck?" He says, a strong accent already showing through those two mere words he had uttered.

"Shhh," I whisper, pressing myself against him. He tried to push me away, oh how he tried. But I broke his resolve, pressing my lips upon his with such force, even I was taken aback.

He pressed me against the cool tile wall, taking control. He smelled familiar, like home. I ran my hands through his hair and it felt as if it were silk, so soft and smooth. I moaned lightly as he pressed onto me harder.

A voice suddenly intrudes on our unexpected encounter, knocking roughly on the door, "Niall? Mate, what did you do fall in?"

Within an instant, I felt my drunkenness cease. The liquid courage had evaporated into pure cowardice.

"Niall?" I whisper, immediately regretting it.

He flips on the light, and I try to run out quickly before he sees my face. Janice stands up as soon as she sees me running towards her, "What happened?"

And then she sees him running behind me, "Is that Niall!?"

"Janice?" I hear a thick voice ask. "Emma?" Repeats the same voice. So unfamiliar, but so much like a home I once knew.

Please tell me this is some drunken nightmare, induced by the endless shots we had taken earlier.

"Emma, is that you?"

"Fuck." Janice says in a whisper.

"Emma?"

"Hi." I say raising my hand shakily without turning around, "Been a while, hasn't it?"


	3. Chapter 3

Time is literally frozen as I stand here looking out the window of the dimly lit pub, wishing the earth would swallow me whole.

"Emma?" Niall says, the question so obviously in his voice. The question itself, I believe, isn't whether it was truly me, but whether he had really just shared such a passionate moment with the little girl he had left behind so long ago.

"Yeah?" My voice trembles and I try desperately to calm down.

I refuse to turn around, I couldn't face him. It was as if all the courage I had the moment I walked into that loo and snogged him had disappeared within an instant.

"Emma?"

He won't stop saying my name. He's as stunned as I am.

I grab my jacket from my seat and run out, I couldn't bear to look at him, so I ran.

One.

No, he wouldn't come after me.

Two.

It's been so long, he wouldn't remember that he used to do this for me.

Three.

Would he?

Four.

I don't turn back, I run out into the cool starry night that not so long ago I felt so alive in. The stars had kissed me then, little did I know he would as well.

Five.

"Emma, stop!"

"No!"

I keep running, swearing at myself for wearing these stupid shoes. I could hear him catching up, so I sprint harder, not sure how much more my heart could handle.

"Princess!? Please! Stop!"

I turn to look back and instantly fall forward.

"Fuck!" I yell, my knee bleeding instantly painting the pavement and my clothes.

Niall runs up to me, getting down on his knees and looking at me.

His face had barely changed, yes he had to be about thirty-six by now, but good lord he hadn't aged much. The bit that he did made him look rugged and manly. His hair remained the same, browner than before. And his body had become less lanky and more muscular, the muscles on his arms bulging as he lifts my leg to inspect it.

"Are you alright?" His large hand wraps around my thigh as he tries to stop me from fidgeting as he inspects my knee.

"No."

"Is it your knee?"

"No!"

"Then what the hell!?"

"Why the hell are you here Niall?!" I yell, it was probably from the almost eight years of waiting. Could you blame me?

"Why the hell were you in that pub? Is that what you do now, kiss strangers in the toilets?!"

"Are you calling me a slut!?" I could feel my face getting redder and redder as he tries to calm himself down.

"Emma?"

"What!?" I snap.

"Why did you kiss me?" He spoke in a whisper, I almost didn't hear him.

I stay quiet, not quite sure what to say. I didn't even know it was him, it was bloody fate.

"Why did you kiss me back?"

He doesn't answer either, simply looks away and sighs loudly. "Can you walk?"

He helps me up, but immediately I feel the pain shoot up my leg "Ow!"

"Your house isn't far-right?"

"You really don't remember?"

He rolls his eyes, "sarcasm isn't as cute as when you were little, Ems."

"I'm not trying to be cute." I retort through gritted teeth.

"Well, I'm taking you home." He says trying to establish some sort of authority.

I was having none of it, "I can walk, thank you though." I try getting up and stumble from the pain.

"You're not walking." He says firmly grabbing my arm. I pull away from him.

"Yes, I am."

"God damn it, Emma. You're not fucking walking." In one motion he swoops me into his arms and holds me close to him. I try to fight him, but he had gotten much stronger.

"You don't have to do this." I try.

"Yes, yes I do."

"Why?"

"Because." He starts walking in the direction of the moonlight, his face illuminated perfectly.

I sigh loudly but submit. I couldn't resist. After eight long years, here we were. My knee bloodied, my arms around his neck, and moonlight lighting the path home.

\---

"Does dad know you're back yet?" I whisper as he finally lets me down at the front gate.

He shakes his head and looks at me, "No, I just got in. I didn't want to tell anyone till I settled in."

"As always," I say rolling my eyes and trying to open the gate.

"As always what?"

"You don't say anything? You don't pick up the bloody phone and say 'Oh princess, I'm coming back this week! Let's go to the fucking zoo!'" I try to imitate his deep Irish accent and he simply laughs in my face.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't do anything right."

"You'd think after such a long time you'd change just a bit."

"I have." He says leaning against the gate, his large hands in his pocket.

"Prove it," I say coming up to his face.

He looks into my eyes, and then at my lips. Only for a mere second thought before he smiles cheekily, and with only the flick of a finger pushes me back from him, "Seems like you've changed plenty, princess."

I smirk at him and open the gate to finally head inside.

"Let's keep....this...between ourselves, yeah? Don't tell anyone I'm back.

I wave my hand and go inside, shutting the gate behind me.

As I look up at the stars, still clear and as if within my reach I shake my head. Tonight...tonight was chaotically perfect.

–-–

"Emma! Emma! Emma! Emma!" I wake up to my step mum on my bed, and a pounding headache.

"What?" I say wearily, my throat dry and my voice creaking.

"Get up! Get showered! I'll get your outfit ready!" She hops off my bed and gets to walk around my room.

"Why? What's happening?" I say barely opening my eyes. The sunlight burns, her excitement bounces off the walls. The sounds of her excitedly chirping around the room have awakened me completely, but I don't have the strength to move.

"Okay, this is..." She grabs my leg and pulls, "Get up! Get up now!"

"Why!? What is happening that I need to get up this very instant when I am obviously hungover and in pain?" She looks at my knee and gives me a grimace, but immediately disappears as soon as she remembers her mission.

"Your Uncle Niall is back. He's in the kitchen with dad, Emma. He's back!"

Great, bloody brilliant.

He's back.


	4. Chapter 4

Slowly I start to make myself presentable, the headache not even close to subsiding. I willingly put on the daisy printed dress mum had picked out, only because I was so hazed and unable to think that I was literally impaired from the bloody hangover.

"Never again," I mutter to myself as I slip on the outfit.

I turn to look in the mirror and roll my eyes, realizing why she had chosen this particular outfit.

"I believe your Uncle Niall loves seeing you in this dress."

Of course. I restrain myself from ripping off the flimsy, delicate material, and going downstairs in my pajamas. How she had found a dress similar to the one I had worn all those years ago had me gritting my teeth in pure anger. Only mum would put in this much effort.

"Ems, are you ready?"

I turn to the door and see her peeking in.

"I guess."

"You look amazing." She fluffs my hair and grabs a tube of lip gloss off of my dresser. She puts it in my hand and smiles at me.

The fact that mum was so obviously excited that Niall was back and here in our homemade me wonder, would she be happy about what happened last night? Not the whole snogging a stranger in the loo part, but the fact that Niall and I had... I mean as twisted and ironic as the situation was, the fact of the matter is that we had kissed. It was simultaneously nothing like I had never expect and everything I had ever wanted.

Could she be happy?

Dad, dad would probably murder Niall. Their brotherly relationship would be irrefutably broken.

Because of me.

"Emma, come on!" Mum says snapping me out of my daze. "Here." She hands me a cup of bubbly water and aspirin. The bubbles burn my throat, but almost immediately I feel relief. "Ready?" She asks, looking at me with the most chipper smile on her face.

"As I'll ever be."

–--

"I'm sorry to hear that mate." I hear dad's slow drawl travel down the hallway as I shakily make my way towards the kitchen.

"It's fine, live and learns and all that shit," Niall says, I could almost hear the cocky smirk in his voice. I take a deep breath and will my self to stop shaking.

"Yesterday was a mistake," I whisper to myself. "It never happened."

I walk into the kitchen and stand in the doorway, dad looks up and smiles widely, "Look who's finally up. Good morning baby."

I force a smile and lift my hand in response.

Niall had feigned not knowing my presence, but at this instant, he chooses to acknowledge me. He turns around and loudly says, "Emma!? Wow!" He gets up and walks towards me, so close that I could smell the cologne on his body. The smell that had penetrated my dreams.

He hugs me tightly to him, and his very touch triggers flashbacks of last night. His hands burned my lower back, his smell was dizzying. I try to push it out, I try to forget.

I look up and will myself to stop, and as soon as I look at dad over Niall's shoulder I could already sense he knew something was rather off. His smile had already turned into a straight line, and as he took a sip from his mug, his eyes kept a steady look upon Niall's hands and where they were placed.

"My princess is all grown up!" Niall says finally letting go and looking at me with an amused, knowing look.

"Yeah...she is," Dad says rolling his eyes, clearly unamused.

"Who told you that you could grow up so quickly?" Niall continues, wrapping an arm around my waist and looking at dad. "I bet you've gotten quite a lot of boys in trouble, haven't you Ems?"

"Why would you say that?" Dad says raising an eyebrow and keeping an eye on Niall's hand.

I remain silent, trying to forget that Niall was still holding onto me. His hand was on the smallest part of my waist, holding on tightly to the delicate material of the daisy printed dress. It burned as it clung to me.

"She so fit, Harry! So beautiful!" He looks at me and somehow manages to pull me closer to him, his cheeky smile growing.

"Alright, enough!" Dad gets up and pulls me towards him, sitting me down across from Niall's seat. "Can we just have a peaceful breakfast?"

"I was just telling the truth." Uncle Niall says sitting down once more.

"Keep it to yourself, Niall, that's my daughter," Dad says in a lower voice.

"I know mate, calm down."

"Sorry," Dad says with an uneasy smile.

"Protective as ever."

"Have to be when my daughter grows up so beautiful," Dad says smiling at me.

I roll my eyes and pray the Niall would shut up the rest of the time he was here.

–--

"Bloody hell! Is this Ollie"

"Swear jar!" Mum says with a smile. Ollie looks up at her and then at Niall, who's face automatically turned into a grimace.

"You're kidding, you still do that? Isn't Ems already in college?"

"It's for Ollie's college fund," Mum says taking out the jar and waving it in front of Niall. He shakes his head, pulls out his wallet, and unwillingly drops a few bills inside of it.

"This really better be for their college funds. I expect to be thanked when you receive your diploma, Emma. I'm putting you through most of college."

"If you didn't swear so much, you wouldn't have to." I jab.

He looks at me wordlessly with a smirk, and I already knew what his look said.

Sarcasm isn't cute anymore Ems.

Ollie looks up at Niall as if trying to remember who he was, but he wouldn't. He was so small when Niall left.

"Hi." Ollie finally says, extending his hand to Niall. Niall ignores Ollie's hand and instead embraces him, running a hand through my little brother's mop of curls.

"You're the spitting image of your father, you know that?"

Ollie smiles excitedly, to him there was no greater compliment than saying he looked like dad. He idolizes dad like you wouldn't imagine.

"Let me show you my drum kit!" Ollie says excitedly, already accepting this once stranger as family. I smile to myself and follow them to Ollie's room.

"Oh." Ollie says looking around his messy room, "I left my sticks downstairs, I'll be right back."

I am left alone in the room with Niall, my heart beating wildly. "Smooth," I say trying to look cool, but obviously failing.

"What?" Niall says.

"The whole thing with dad?"

"Just having a bit of fun is all, Ems. It's been eight years, I need to piss off your father at least three times a day to make up for the lost time."

"You didn't have to lie," I say leaning against the wall by the door.

"About what?" He says stepping closer to me.

I swallow roughly before responding, "Everything." I avoid his stare, willing myself to look away.

"Princess?" He says taking yet another step closer.

"What?"

I look up, only to be met by his piercing blue stare, "I wasn't lying."


	5. Chapter 5

I lean against the wall, his face so close to mine. I try backing away, but nowhere seems far enough. Why was he doing this? This wasn't the same Uncle Niall from eight years ago. Was it because he knew that I did have feelings for him, or because he didn't know still? Could it be his feelings have never changed, that he just sees me as his 'princess' still?

He doesn't step away and I look towards the door frantically, Ollie would be back at any moment.

"Niall?" My voice says shakily.

"What, I'm not 'Uncle Niall' anymore?"

I roll my eyes as I struggle to continue, "Why did you come back, really?"

"I thought it was time to."

I swallow roughly, remembering the most important thing...the thing I had forgotten in the midst of drunken stupidity..."What about your wife?"

He steps back, finally, he steps back giving me space. Niall looks at me hesitantly, "Ems, I—"

"Found them! And mom said to bring up desert!" Ollie says bursting into the room, unaware of the tense atmosphere.

"Great, that looks good." Uncle Niall says taking the tray from Ollie's hands. Ollie smiles at him and takes his sticks off the tray. He heads to the drums right away.

"Eat your ice cream first, Ollie." I know he won't but I should at least try to get him to.

"I want to play for Uncle Niall."

I turn to look at Niall and say, "Niall isn't going anywhere, are you, Niall?"

He nods his head and gives me the smile I had fallen in love with so long ago, "No, I'm here to stay."

–--

After about two hours of hearing Ollie play (murder) the drums, and hearing Niall retell stories about the days the band was together, my little brother finally tuckered out on top of his bed.

Niall smiles to himself as he places a blanket upon Ollie and quietly leads me out of the room. I could hear mum and dad watching a movie downstairs, and knew that for now they were occupied.

I tilt my head towards my room and Niall nods and leaves the door open behind him. I turn on the light and immediately he looks around, astounded.

"It hasn't changed at all."

"Nope."

I sit on my bed, not really sure what to do as Niall walks around my room looking at pictures upon my wall and the awards I had received throughout secondary school.

"Wow, my little overachiever." He says with a chuckle, "What about Uni, what are you studying?"

"Undecided for now."

"What a bullshit response." He says turning to look at me, "All your life you've always known what you wanted, and you can't pick a career?"

"It's going to affect my entire life."

"My point exactly, you go by instinct, princess. You shouldn't have to think it through." I nod, not wanting to get into an argument about this now. "Are you living at Uni?"

"Yeah, I'm only back for the summer."

"It's not far?"

"No, I just needed to get out while I could." He laughs, and I smile.

"Niall?"

"Hmmm?" He's looking at the books I had lined up upon my table and doesn't even bother to turn back and look at me.

"What were you about to say earlier?"

He sighs loudly and walks over to where I'm sitting. He takes a seat at a respectable distance and firmly holds my gaze.

"You remember when my father died Emma?"

It wasn't too long ago, maybe two years ago. I had avoided going to another familial event luckily but had heard from mum that Niall had taken his father's death very hard.

"Yeah."

"It was rough, Ems. Really rough."

"I can imagine."

"I hate to say it, but a lot of shit happened during that time. I just, I didn't think I could come back till I was...somewhat me again, you know?"

"Yeah."

I immediately feel my heart pang for him, behind the chuckles and cheeky comments, he was hurting. Even now, even after some time has passed, he still couldn't go back to who he once was.

"It took a long time to get to the place I am now Emma, and well...My wife Leah, she just..." He pauses and smiles at me, "I didn't think it was fair to her. I didn't think that she had to be tied down...by me..."

"What are you saying?"

"She left, or well, I let her go. She doesn't deserve this shit, Emma. I wasn't the person she needed me to be."

"Niall," I say taking his hand in mine, he was trying not to let his facade completely falter.

"I'm okay, Ems. I'm okay." He continues holding onto my hand and smiles at me, "That's why I came back."

"To be okay?"

"To finally be okay."

–-–

I'm not sure quite where I stand with Niall. There are moments I believe we are inevitably tied together. Our lives undeniably intertwined so strongly, that one could not be without the other.

But then there are moments like these when I am merely a child once more. As I lay back on my bed, he joins me. Both of us talking, until there is nothing left to be said. The silence is enough afterwords are spent.

We don't touch, we don't speak, we simply lay shoulder to shoulder. And that was enough. Knowing his heart was beating next to mine, knowing he was here next to me, knowing that for now, he was here.

Eight years, 400 miles, and my heart in the palm of his hands. And still, somehow, this was enough to make it up for it all.

"I love you," I whisper.

My heart freezes. It waits for his response.

But nothing.

"Niall?"

I lift my head gently and see that he's fallen asleep.

"You'll always be the person I need you to be. No matter what happens, you will always be enough."

Perhaps it was the silence, perhaps it was his unconsciousness, but the words I had never uttered were suddenly spilling out.

I lay back down and curl up into myself, turning to the other side, and facing away from him. Many a night he would sleep in my bed, nights I was tormented or afraid. Nights I simply wanted him there. But now, I don't know how to feel.

"Edie, should we wake him up?" Dad sounds furious outside my door, at least as furious as a dad can sound.

The door was open, I knew Niall had done that on purpose.

"Harry, he's slept over before."

"Edie, she's not a little kid anymore, this isn't right." He argues in a harsh whisper.

He was right, it wasn't. My heart would get too attached, I would yearn for him more than I already do.

"Harry, she's a smart kid. And he's done nothing but protect her. Look, he even left the bloody door open." She pauses and I could already imagine her wrapping an arm around his waist, trying to calm him down. "Talk to him tomorrow, calmly."

"No, Edie. He has to learn there are boundaries now. She's not eleven and he's not her dad or uncle or brother. He's a family friend. Some things are appropriate and things that aren't."

"At least don't wake Ems up."

"I won't."

I hear the creaks on the floor and feel my stomach starting to form knots.

"Niall?" Dad says gently moving Niall by the shoulder. I continue feigning sleep.

"Hmmm?"

"Niall, you fell asleep, you need to go home."

I feel Niall sit up, "Oh, sorry mate. Yeah, I'll go home." He sounds embarrassed as if knowing he had done something wrong.

"I'll see you tomorrow, I'm glad you back," Dad says following him out.

"Yeah, me too. Night Edie."

"Night Niall."

"Tell Emma I'll be back tomorrow."

"Will do," Dad says.

He was making sure I knew he wasn't leaving me.

In all honesty, I don't think I could take it again.


	6. Chapter 6

I awake with a startle. The sunlight was already burning bright, seeping in through the curtains. I turn to look at my clock and am surprised to see it was a quarter past noon. I groan loudly.

Usually, at half-past ten mum was already waking up the entire house, claiming that we were being lazy. But today, there hasn't been a peep.

I stretch and lazily get up from under the covers. I avoid my reflection in the mirror as I pass it, already knowing I looked like a bloody mess. I could feel the mascara clumped under my eyes, and the clothes I was wearing yesterday were incredibly wrinkled.

As I walk to my bathroom, a knock interrupts my long-awaited shower.

"Emma?" I turn to see mum, guiltily smiling at me.

"Yeah?"

"Take your time getting ready, dad and your uncle Niall are having a chat downstairs."

"Oh." Fuck. Fucking hell.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll let you know when they're done." She pauses before smiling reassuringly, "It'll be okay."

Mum closes the door behind her and I nervously pace the room. Should I? I should.

I walk towards my door and open it with only a crack. Mum must be in the living room, playing the referee in case anything happens. Ollie was probably in his room...I could do this.

I walk silently towards the stairs, forgetting about my long-awaited shower. As I sit on the third step, I could hear their voices almost perfectly.

"Niall, I just..."

"Mate. How long have you known me?"

"Yes, I know," Dad says guiltily.

"Do you really think I'd do anything, anything, to hurt her?"

"No," Dad says without a doubt.

"Then why are you up to my ass about this? So I fell asleep, so what? Harry, I'm not going to take advantage of her. She's as if she were my own."

"I know."

As if I were his own?

"Harry, I love Emma. I would never, ever ever, do anything to hurt her." Niall says, almost pleading. "I came back because I wanted to feel at home. I missed a lot of you, especially my Ems. I don't want anything to change. I'm sorry if it comes off as inappropriate, but you should fucking know better. I'm not that type of guy!"

I feel my heart ripping in two, knowing that the love he had for me was simply the love he had always had. It hadn't evolved, it hadn't changed. I was his princess, I am still his princess, I could never be anything more.

"Swear," Dad says in utter seriousness.

"I swear, Harry. I just want everything to be like before."

I hold back a sob, swearing at myself for being so stupid. Why would I ever think Niall could love me any other way?

"Alright, well, let's have lunch then."

The chairs screech against the floor and I quickly get up and climb the last steps to my room. Quickly I get undressed and lock myself in the bathroom. Under the hot water of the shower, I allow myself to let out my repressed sob. I cry, the pure emotion of it all shaking my body helplessly. The hot water hits my back, and I step further into the nozzle, only so that I couldn't tell how many tears I was shedding for him. I touch my lips, hoping to remember the feel of his against them. I close my eyes tightly, trying to stop the bloody tears. It wasn't fair. Why did it have to happen this way? Why did we have to kiss? Why did I have to love him? Why was my very existence dependent on him? It couldn't be healthy. I must be mad. Fucking crazy.

Eight years and I still haven't learned?

As the water eventually calmed me down, I took a deep breath and closed the nozzle. I didn't deserve to feel bad about this. I didn't fall in love with Niall. No. I chose to love him. I walked into love with him, with my eyes wide open and with the knowledge that this could turn into nothing. I knew that. I knew it. I knew the consequences, the possibilities, the pros, and the cons.

But knowing the pain that it could cause in advance doesn't make the pain any less bearable.

–-–

I slowly make my way into my room, dressing, and without any interest.

"Emma?"

I finish buttoning my shirt and answer, "Come in."

"Baby, we're about to have lunch," Dad says with a smile.

"Okay."

He looks awkwardly from me to the door, crossing one foot behind the other, "Are...you okay?"

"Yes...why?"

"No, nothing." He crosses his arms now. Dad has numerous amount of nervous ticks.

"Okay then..."

"Alright, come downstairs then."

He quickly exits the room and leaves me alone once more. I contemplate skipping out on lunch but realize that Niall was here to stay. He was trying to make things as they were before. Coming over every day, eating lunch, even falling asleep at my side. He was trying to make our relationship into what it once was.

I stare at the daisy print dress that was still hanging on a hook by the wall and shake my head. He didn't want a new Emma, or a new life, or a new anything for that matter. He came back to be who he used to be. He came back expecting the life he had left behind. Whether he was so dense he didn't realize or chose to use obliviousness to hide his true feelings, it didn't matter. He wanted everything to fall back into place.

Including me.

–--

I make my way down the stairs to hear laughter and chatter fill the kitchen. I plaster on a smile, hoping my eyes didn't look too terrible.

"Pull up a seat, princess," Niall says motioning to the seat next to him.

Without any question whatsoever I sit next to him. Mum places a plate in front of me, and suddenly I realize I'm not hungry.

I pick up my fork, trying to ignore the stares, and eat.

They continue on their conversation, with only Niall sometimes turning to look at me. I started moving food around my plate, and when it finally seemed as if they were done I say, "May I be excused?"

Dad nods and smiles, waving me away. I place my plate in the sink and once more make my way to my room. But before I close the door behind me, something holds it open.

"Emma?"

I turn around to see Niall pulling back the knob, stopping me from shutting it.

"What?" I say tiredly.

"What's wrong?"

I sigh, "Nothing is wrong Niall. Just let me be."

"Ems, I know you. Something is wrong."

"Nothing. Is. Wrong."

I step away and try to signal that I'm finished with the conversation, but Niall won't have it.

I turn my back to him, only to hear his steps come closer until I feel his arms around me. "You don't have to tell me what it is. But I'm here, I'll be here."

I don't move.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" He says, his voice warm against my neck.

"No. Of course not."

"So, we're alright?" He says letting go.

"Of course, why wouldn't we be," I say turning around with a slight smile upon my face.

"Good then." He walks back towards the door, "I'll be downstairs with your dad."

"Okay."

As soon as he leaves I breathe in and out, in and out.

We were not alright. We were very bloody far from it.


	7. Chapter 7

Janice stares at me with wide expectant eyes as I sit comfortably upon my bed. Her hair was in a ponytail today, a nice change of pace. She continued fidgeting around nervously, dying to know what had happened the other night.

"What, Janice?" I tease, knowing full well why she was so anxious.

"What happened? You leave me hanging for two days Emma!? What the bloody hell!?!?"

"Lower your voice," I say clasping a hand over her mouth. I had shut the door and made sure no one was on this floor, but knowing dad he'd be hovering close around.

"Ems, what happened?"

"Nothing happened," I say. Honestly, nothing really had happened, the most exciting thing that had happened she had already witnessed.

"But you kissed him? And, and why was he here? Isn't he supposed to be in Ireland...ISN'T HE MARRIED!?"

I grab a pillow and cover her head, she laughs loudly thinking that I'm playing around, but I am not in the right mind and have the very pressing urge to let her suffocate slowly.

"Ems!" She says in a muffled voice through the pillow. I release my hold and sit back upon the bed, fluffing my pillow.

Maybe, just not today.

"What is it, Janice?" I stretch my long legs on the bed, and she lies down facing me.

"That's what I'm asking you, Ems."

I sigh loudly, not really sure what to say.

"You still love him, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter," I mutter.

"It does." She says with a slight smile. "So, what happened?"

–--

Janice's face maintains the same infuriatingly calm expression as I tell her the occurrences of the last two days. Only when I reach the end of my tale does she sit up and finally speak.

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

She pauses before speaking, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "You should tell him you love him."

"Are you bloody mad?"

"No, I'm a hopeless romantic remember?"

"Same fucking thing," I say pouting and leaning against the headboard.

"Ems." She says in a knowing voice, "You're not a kid anymore. If he really thinks that he can come back and expect everything to be the same as it was then he's more of an idiot than I had thought."

"Hmm," I grumble.

"I'm serious. Emma, you can't be the same person that you were when you were eleven. He can't be the same person he was when he was twenty-five. That's insane. People change."

"I know."

"Then why can't you tell him?"

"Are you kidding me? Janice, he's sixteen years older than me. He's my dad's best mate. He was my bloody uncle for how many years? It's just wrong, utterly twisted."

"So what, there are lots of people that have relationships like that."

"I don't care about other people."

"Then what is it exactly that you care about, Ems."

I sigh to myself and look around before answering, obviously stalling, "I only care about him being happy." I utter so quietly, I wondered if Janice had heard me.

"Then you really do love him." I nod and she shakes her head, "You have to tell him, Emma. It's been eight years, I don't understand how he doesn't know by now."

"But what if he did, the only thing that would change would be that he would be freaked out to be around me."

Janice nods pauses, and says with a smile, "Let me ask you one thing."

"What?"

"Don't you find it incredibly weird that out of all the strangers at the bar that night you ended up kissing him?"

"I was pissed off my arse, I didn't even know what I was doing."

"That's not my point, Emma. My point is that of all the people in the bar, of all the people in the world, really. The only person you've ever really been attracted to is Niall."

I stay quiet and she takes it as a cue to continue, "It's fate, Emma. And if you don't do something about it, then life will pass you by and all you'll have left are regrets."

Fuck, I hate when Janice is right.

"Will you at least think about it?" Janice says reaching for my hand, something she always did when she knew I was upset.

"If I think about it, I won't do it."

"So, you're going to do it...?"

"I didn't say that either," I say with a smirk.

"Damn it, Emma, just tell him."

I sigh loudly, "Janice you make it sound like this is the easiest problem to fix in the entirety of the whole bloody world."

She looks at me blankly, "Well isn't it?"

"No!"

"Emma, you just have to utter three words and wait for his reaction. That doesn't sound hard to me."

I hate it when Janice is right.

"Janice, when you fall in love I promise to say the same infuriatingly rational thing."

She shrugs and smiles, "Do it."

"I promise you I will."

"Okay." She starts getting up from the bed and I follow her.

"You'll see how useless that advice is."

"I'm sure I will." She says opening the door to my room, not even bothering to look back.

"Janice," I say going down the stairs behind her, "Just wait till you fall in love, you'll see nothing make sense! Even your level-headed pretty little head is going to go bloody mad."

"Alright, Emma," Janice says jumping off the last step and obviously stifling a laugh.

I groan loudly as Janice waves to dad, "Bye, Mr. Styles. Thanks for everything."

He embraces Janice in a hug and looks at me with a furrowed brow, "What happened?" He mouthed. I rolled my eyes in response.

"Ollie, Janice is leaving," I call up the stairs.

Ollie runs down the stairs and as soon as dad lets go of Janice, he clings onto her, "Bye Janice."

"Bye, cutie," Janice says fluffing his hair. He blushed furiously.

"Alright, enough already." I say pulling him away from her, "She's leaving."

"Come back soon," Dad says to Janice. She nods shyly, still a bit awkward around dad.

"I'm serious Janice," I say as I lead her to the door. "The day you fall in love and ask me for advice, then I'll make sure to repeat the same words you so helpfully gave me."

"Emma." She says playfully placing a hand upon my shoulder, "When I fall in love, I won't need your advice. I already know enough to follow my own."

I laugh out loud, how could such a self-righteous hopeless romantic be my best friend? "Leave already," I say pushing her out the door.

"Love you, Ems!" She says waving goodbye.

"Yeah, yeah. Me too." I say finally closing the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Days pass quickly, each one inevitably filled to the brim with Niall. He had of course taken me to the typical places we had always enjoyed. Oh, well, by we I mean him. In the past five days, I've been dragged to the zoo, the aquarium, and bloody Nando's. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this obvious, pathetic, attempt to relive the past.

"What about tomorrow, Princess? What should we do tomorrow?" Niall asks as we drive along in the dark of the night.

"I don't know," I say, annoyed.

"Maybe we could go to the cinema? Haven't been there yet."

"Maybe..." I say looking out the window, obviously uninterested.

"What would you like to do?" He says, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

"Does it matter?"

"Emma." He says pulling over, "I don't appreciate the fucking attitude. If you have something to say, say it." He parks the car roughly, putting the gear shift in park angrily.

"Are you kidding me?" I say turning to look at him.

"No, I'm not fucking kidding you. What is wrong with you?" He says facing me.

"You really want to know?"

'Calm down Emma, don't do this now'. I say to myself, but the anger is so red hot I can't even think.

"Yes, I really want to know," Niall says turning to face me.

"Why are you trying so bloody hard to relive the past?"

"What!? What the bloody hell are you talking about?" He sounds bewildered, but it's so dark in the car I can't really make out his face.

"Seriously? What am I talking about? You've taken me to every single place we've been to when I was little. You've tried acting as nothing has changed!"

"So what!? I can't act as I did before?"

"No! You can't!" I say, my hands flailing along with my angry voice.

"And why is that, Emma? Why can't I act as nothing has changed?"

"Because it has! Everything has bloody changed, Niall! You can't leave for eight fucking years and expect everything to remain the fucking same!"

"What is it that's changed then, Emma. Enlighten me, please! I'm all fucking ears!"

He hits his hand against the steering wheel, setting me off. How dare he! He doesn't deserve to get mad at me!

"Me, I've changed! I'm not the same little girl you left behind!" I scream so angrily that I can barely see straight, "I love you! I've been loving you for the past eight years!! I fucking love you! And you don't fucking see it!"

Oh, fuck.

Even in the darkness, I could see his mouth wide open in surprise and his eyes go about to double their size.

"What did you say?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What did I do?

"You heard me," I say, regretting everything instantaneously.

"You..."

"Yeah. I do." Fuck. Well, Janice, one problem down, a thousand to go.

"Um..." He starts the car and goes back onto the main road, ignoring the sight of me. "I think I should take you home."

"We're not even going to talk about this?" I say rather pathetically, I was already verbally beating myself up mentally.

"Emma." He says in a very soft tone of voice, "There's nothing to talk about."

A tear escapes and I wipe at it discretely.

So this is what it was like to have your heart broken into a million pieces.

Sure, he had left, he had gotten married, he hadn't come back for so long. But, fuck, I never thought that he wouldn't even respond to me when I told him the three most important words one could ever say.

"Drop me off at Janice's."

He nods, not saying another word the entire trip.

For the first time, I felt our silence only filled a void that had been made between us. Things were going to change.

And I was so fucking scared.

–--

I stand upon Janice's front steps, waiting for her to open the door. My eyes already streaming tears down my cheeks.

"Emma?" Her eyes widen when she sees me pathetically crying my eyes out among her potted flowers, "Ems what happened, babe?" She takes me into her arms, rubbing my back in slow circles.

"I told him," I say in between sobs. "I told him as you told me to."

She tenses for a second, and I could tell she felt undeniably guilty, "I'm sorry." She says hugging me tighter to her.

"It's not fucking okay," I say sobbing into her shoulder. She only rubs my back, trying to soothe me. "Jan?"

"What?"

I lift my head and attempt to stop crying. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my blouse and finally manage to say, "Let's get fucking drunk off our arses."

–--

Perhaps it was not the wisest course of action, but I was not prepared to face this bloody heartache without something to numb my body from it's damaging and permanent effects.

"Fuck Niall," I say, acting the part of the scorned woman rather nicely.

Janice simply shakes her head and refills her glass, "I thought he was different."

"So did I," I say taking a shot and putting the glass down.

We sat at the bar, the closest to liquor. Today, Janice did not chide me for drinking too fast nor too much. She knew I wanted to quickly be rid of these intoxicating feelings.

"Hello." Says an unfamiliar voice, interrupting our rounds.

"Hello?" I say looking at the quite handsome stranger. He smiled at me and nodded at Janice. His eyes were the mossiest of greens I had ever seen, and they lock onto mine for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"Oh, right." He says. I laugh, making him blush. "I'm Luca."

"I'm Emma, this is Janice," I say looking straight at him.

He holds my gaze, "Pleasure." He says taking my hand.

"Would you like to sit?" Janice says with a smile.

"Well, sure." He sits next to me, his body is so close to my own. "Where are you two girls from?"

"We're from nearby, born and raised."

"Ah, Primrose Hills girls." He responds with a knowing look as if expecting something.

"What?" I say, obviously not understanding the look he was giving us.

He laughs out loud and turns to look at me seriously, "You don't remember me, do you?"

I turn to look at Janice and she shrugs, "No? Should I?"

"Emma, it's me, Lucas, from primary school?"

I hear Janice gasp audibly.

Oh shit. "Lucas!? Why the bloody hell did you say your name was Luca!?"

"Well, that's what everyone called me throughout secondary school."

"Shit, Lucas, you look so different."

He had been a skinny, lanky thing. Always being picked on by the older boys.

"Yeah, that's what everyone tells me." He says bashfully rubbing his hair with a large, calloused hand.

"Do tell me, Lucas, how have you been?"

–--

We spend what feels like hours talking to Lucas about, well, everything. The liquor was making my body buzz, and Lucas' voice was having an enchanting effect on me.

"Are you seeing anyone Emma?"

I knew he was bound to ask this, and shyly I shake my head no. Janice had gone to the toilets and left us alone for the first time tonight.

"Would you like to?" He says, a very apparent blush playing upon his cheeks.

I lean in close to him and whisper, "I'm a bloody mess Lucas, you don't want to get involved with me."

He leans in closer, "Oh, but I do."

I figure it's the liquor talking, that it's already affecting our hearts. Making them think that love is this easy, this simple.

"Do you now?" I say my nose only a smidgen away from touching his.

"What the bloody hell is this?" I look up, horrified having heard the voice I would know anywhere.

Suddenly Lucas is pulled off of his stool and slammed against the bar, "You taking advantage of a drunk girl, mate?" Niall says, his voice ringing throughout the now silenced pub.

"No...No...sir," Lucas replies, obviously terrified of the larger, older man that had him pinned against the wooden bar.

"What the fuck are you doing Niall, let him go!"

"Was he bothering you, Emma?" He says, pressing onto Lucas harder, his fist midway in the air.

"No! Why the fuck would you care anyway!?"

Niall looks at me angrily, pushing Lucas away violently. He walks away furiously in the direction of the toilets.

Janice, having seen the whole thing from the back of the pub, runs past Niall, to me, "Are you alright?"

"Ask him," I say pointing to Lucas, incredibly embarrassed.

"I'm...I'm fine. Um, but..." He avoids my stare, still leaning against the bar. "I...is that your boyfriend?"

"No!"

"Still...um...maybe I should go. That was more than enough excitement for one night."

I took him, my face blushing with utter embarrassment, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, we'll catch up another time." He says pulling some bills and placing them onto the counter, "It was nice seeing both of you." Lucas says with fake enthusiasm.

As I watch him walk out I could feel myself bubbling with anger, Janice places a hand upon my shoulder and says with a smile, "Ems, if he couldn't stand up to your Uncle Niall, he is not the man for you."

But the rage that was building inside me did not allow for me to process her consolement, instead, I turned on my heels and marched to the toilets. I open the door, finding it unlocked once more, and am faced with a smirking Niall.

"What, you're not turning off the lights this time?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" I say looking at him. He leans against the sink, his eyes mischievously locking upon mine.

He doesn't even look sorry.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm sorry I try to defend you when I see that fucking wanker all over you!"

"If you didn't notice, Niall, I was all over him too!" I yell loudly, standing my ground.

"Oh, so that's the girl you're going to be, princess."

"What kind of girl is that?" I reply with pure anger.

"Didn't you tell me," he pauses to look at his Rolex, "Exactly four hours ago, that you loved me? No, wait. That you "fucking loved me"?"

I lunge at him, my arms barely brushing his cheek before he holds my wrist tightly.

"Let me go." I say trying to yank my arm away from him, "Didn't you say there's nothing to talk about!? Didn't you!?"

His grip continues to tighten around my arm as he says, "Turns out there is."

"Is there now?"

He lets go of my arm, pinning me to the tile wall, his face closer than Lucas' was moments before.

"Yeah, princess, there is."


	9. Chapter 9

My heart beats wildly as I look up into Niall's piercing blue eyes. I try to focus on anything but the severity of this situation. He hadn't shaved today, his stubble noticeable only because of the fluorescent lighting in the tiny loo. His hair had returned to its natural brown shade, he didn't bleach it. The tile on the wall was incredibly white, they must clean it often...

"Emma." He says trying to regain my attention.

I turn to look at him, almost immediately regretting it. He looks into my eyes, almost pleading with me to close the gap between us. As if he were too scared to do it on his own.

"What do we have to talk about," I say in a shaky voice.

He smirks at me, his hands on the tile wall behind me, "Really Emma? What do we have to talk about? Perhaps the little outburst you had in my car earlier?"

"Outburst?" My anger begins to flare up once more, making me push him off of me.

"Yes, outburst." He says, never breaking eye contact, even though I had thrown him off balance.

"Just say what you were thinking, there's obviously a reason why you came here to look for me after my "little outburst"," I say making air quotes sarcastically.

He walks in the tiny confined space, pacing, thinking. "I didn't come here to do this."

"What is this!?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay! That I hadn't fucked up again!" He says angrily, his voice rising another octave.

"Niall."

"No, let me finish." He says holding up a hand, "You...you've always been like a bloody daughter to me Emma. I've always thought of you that way."

"Okay..."

"And then today, when I saw that fucking wanker inches away from your face, I lost it."

"And why would that be?" I say, obviously trying to push his buttons.

"Because!"

"Because?"

He groans loudly in frustration. "Emma! This isn't fucking right! That night....that we...I couldn't stop thinking about you! I couldn't! And I felt so terrible, like a bloody pervert!"

"Niall what isn't fucking right!? You said it yourself! It was a mistake! That we weren't going to talk about it anymore!"

"Shut up, will you! I need to finish saying this!" I huff angrily but allow him to continue. "Emma, I have been trying so fucking hard to get things back to how they used to be because I'm scared. I'm scared that....that...I'm in love with you."

My jaw goes slack.

"Emma?"I try to compose myself as he turns to look at me.

"I...I..." I lean against the wall trying to breathe.

"But, I don't think we can do this. It isn't right."

"Niall?"

"What?"

"You don't have to do anything. Maybe you're just doing it for my benefit." I try to rationalize because honestly, none of this was making any type of sense. "There isn't anything you have to do, really. I'll...I'll just get over it." He stays quiet, only stares at me. "Just, go on with your life, don't worry about me. I know we can't do this, and I'm sorry...." I blink back tears before I full out a sob, "I'm sorry I even told you that. I really am."

"Why would you say that?" He says approaching me. "What makes you think I'll be able to get over you?"

My heart stops. "What?"

"Emma, I...I don't think I'd ever been able to get over you. You have been the person my life has revolved around for the past seventeen years. How could I possibly, ever, fucking get over you? How could I ever forget you?"

"But...you just said..."

He gets closer and closer, brushing a strand of hair from my face, "I know, but...I don't want to leave you either. I don't want to pretend like...this...whatever the fuck this is, doesn't exist."

"What exactly would this be?"

"I don't know, princess."

"Niall, this can't be anything. As much as I would want it to be, it just can't..."

"You think I don't know that? I know that, Emma." He leans against the sink, watching me.

"Niall..." I say with a sigh. "Why are you doing this? Just let me get over you, just tell me you don't love me. That you know that this is wrong, that nothing will ever come from it."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not fucking true! Emma, what if all this time. What if...what if I haven't found anyone because...it's supposed to be you?"

"Niall..." He's gone mad, hasn't he?

"I'm serious Emma, it sounds fucking crazy, but I'm serious!"

"I think maybe we're both just confused," I mutter.

"I'm not confused, Emma!"

"Niall! You will never, ever, have a normal life with me! Do you know what will happen if this goes any further?"

"I know. But Emma, I promise–"

"Didn't you just get divorced!? How do I know you're bloody serious, if the woman you made probably one of the biggest promises to, is no longer your wife? How will I know that you're not fucking with me?"

That struck a chord. His face immediately pales, "That's not fair."

"This isn't fair, Niall. It wasn't fair that you left for eight years, it wasn't fair that you bloody married someone you barely even knew, and it wasn't fair for you to come here and tell me you love me when you know full well there's no fucking thing you can do about it!"

"You at least deserved to know the truth!" He yells, frustrated with me.

"What the fuck am I going to do with the truth, Niall!? I was better off without knowing!"

"What, do you want me to take it back, Emma?" he says steadily as if daring me to do so.

"How about we just pretend it never happened, you're really good at doing that, aren't you?"

"Fine. Perfect, princess. Have it your fucking way." He says angrily opening the door.

I stare back at him, and he looks at me angrily, "Let's go, Emma. Harry's waiting for you."

"What? Is that why you came here?"

He looks away and rolls his eyes, "Can we just go?"

"Fine, whatever." I walk out the door, and into the now mostly empty pub.

"Scared away most of the customers, you did," Janice says with a worried look upon her face. "What happened?"

"Seems like there's no problem anymore." I grab my abandoned glass and swallow the remnants of the bitter liquor. "We worked it out."

"More like had a go at yelling it out."

"It's fine," I say grabbing my bag, knowing that Niall was waiting to take us home.

"It doesn't seem fine," Janice says steadying me, as I try to walk out the door.

"It will be soon. It's better off pretending anyway."

Janice frowns, understanding what I mean. "Emma."

"No, I'd rather pretend and be his princess than be another broken promise."

"Emma. Don't say that." She says in a whisper as we approach the car, "He's a good man, Ems."

"Ha!" I said tilting my head back, "You know why he came here?"

"To check up on you?"

"No dear Janice, on dad's orders."

"That's still checking up on you."

"Whatever."

"Emma, I don't understand you. He told you he loved you didn't he? And you wouldn't accept it?" Damn that perceptive, Janice. "What are you waiting for Emma?"

That was a bloody good question, what was I waiting for?

"He's not going to wait forever." She says.

"I have."

"Are we going home or what!?" Niall says yelling from the car.

The last thing I wanted was to get in the car with him.

"Get in the car," Janice says opening the door for me.

"No."

"Emma, don't do this now."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll make you get in the bloody car," Niall says angrily.

"Then make me!"


	10. Chapter 10

I stand in front of the open car door, staring down Niall. He doesn't back down, and neither do I.

"Emma, I said get in the car." He says in a low voice.

"I said, make me," I reply slowly.

Janice simply looks between us, not sure what to do, "Ems, just get in the car, babe."

"I said I don't want to. I'll bloody walk home if I have to!"

I hear the car door slam from Niall's side and hear him coming around the car, "Get in the fucking car."

"I'm not getting in the car." I turn to walk away, but Niall grabs me from the waist, attempting to force me into the passenger seat.

"Let her go, she said she doesn't want to go with you!" I turn to look in the direction of the voice that had come to my defense. It couldn't be...

Niall's grip loosened, "This doesn't concern you, mate. I suggest you leave before I do what I should have done inside." He holds me to him, not tightly. But almost as if he didn't want me to go.

Lucas steps forward, his eyes only looking at me, "Are you okay? Do you want me to take you home?"

"I said it doesn't concern you," Niall says letting go of me completely.

"And I wasn't asking you," Lucas says stepping closer. "Emma, do you want me to take you home."

I'm dumbfounded, didn't this boy... just mere minutes ago...run from Niall?

"Yeah. I'd like that much more." I say stepping away from Niall and heading towards Lucas.

"Ems, don't do this." Janice urges, grabbing my arm.

I yank it away from her, and she looks as if I've just slapped her.

I walk towards Lucas, leaving both Janice and Niall behind. And as terrible as it may sound, I am quite pleased with Niall's reaction, pure and utter silence.

As I walk off with Lucas, I could still feel his stare upon my back.

I would most likely pay for this later, I knew I would, but for now, I would take satisfaction in this small defeat.

–--

"I thought you said you weren't in a relationship," Lucas says walking next to me, hands in the pockets of his skinny jeans.

"It's fucking complicated," I mutter.

The moonlight illuminates the dark street, and I struggle walking straight. The alcohol had rushed to my head, making each step more uncertain than the last.

"You okay?" he asks.

I turn to look at him, the dim light outlining his strong jaw and broad shoulders. He was wearing a t-shirt of some irrelevant band, and his pants were way too tight. I study him, unabashedly, too tipsy to care how awkward it may seem.

"Emma?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

I decided, rather quickly, that although he may have been gorgeous, he was certainly not my type.

"So, you want to tell me what exactly happened back there."

"Not really," I say, walking quicker. I really just wanted to be home.

"You're doing this to spite that guy aren't you?"

I stop and look at him, "So?"

"Kind of childish, Emma. Isn't it?"

Okay, I really didn't like him now.

"This really isn't any of your business, mate. I appreciate you bringing me home but...oh," I say turning around and pointing towards my house, "look I'm here. So thank you, but I'm going to go now."

"Emma, you don't have to be a bitch. I really just want to help."

I grit my teeth, trying to resist the urge to punch him in the face, "You've helped enough, Lucas. I assure you." I start walking towards my house, not bothering to turn back. "Goodbye, Lucas. Nice running into you."

Niall was right, what a wanker.

–--

"You're home?" Dad says the moment I walk in, he's sitting at the counter with a cuppa tea, and his glasses perched on his nose, "Alone?"

"Wondering where Niall is?" I say sharply.

"Well, yeah. You left the house with him."

I sigh loudly and make my way up the stairs, too tired to pick another fight. I had to choose these battles wisely.

I enter my room, already looking forward to my pajamas and comforters. I walk around getting ready for bed, slipping on my favorite t-shirt, and wiping off all of my makeup.

And as I finally enter my bed I groan loudly, as if lying down had released all of my negative thoughts.

Lucas was right, I was a bitch. He was totally and completely right. How could I just leave Niall behind like that? How I could shut him down?

But how, how could Niall and I ever be anything? Even if we loved each other, even if we were inevitable, why does it matter when the whole world is against us?

I shouldn't have talked to him that way though.

Ugh, my bloody head hurt already, I had to stop going to that pub.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?" I say weakly.

"Love, are you alright?" Mum says sitting on the corner of my bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired."

"Why didn't you come home with Niall?"

I sit upon my elbows and look at mum, "I...we...we had a bit of a spat."

"You both fought? You and Uncle Niall?"

"Is it that unbelievable?"

"Honestly, yes," Mum says with a sad smile.

"I should say I'm sorry."

"Maybe you both should."

Her words immediately make me feel pathetic and petty. I did go too far.

"Maybe I should."

I immediately feel tears spring to my eyes and wish for just a moment that I could ten again. Before I realized that I loved Niall before he had left before every single thing in my life had changed.

"Emma?" I feel mum move closer and wrap an arm around my shoulders, "It'll be okay. Your Uncle Niall loves you more than anything in the world, it isn't the end of you two."

I sniffle pathetically, "What if it is?"

"Emma, don't be ridiculous." she says rubbing my back, "It's like you two are inevitable."

"Did dad tell you that story too?" I say, feeling a smile coming on.

"He's told it much too many times, love. But, it's better than the knock-knock jokes."

I giggle, wiping tears off my face.

"Don't worry, Ems. In the end, it'll work out."

"I hope so," I whisper.

I really do.


	11. Chapter 11

"Emma! Emma!"

I slowly open my eyes, sighing loudly as I feel someone shaking me awake.

"Emma!"

"What!" I snap, sitting up and looking right into Janice's face. "What! What do you want!?"

"Why did you do that!?"

I think back to last night, how Niall tried to lift me into the bloody car, and the look on his face as I walked away with that wanker Lucas.

"I was mad!"

"That's not an excuse!"

"I know," I mumble.

"Then what are you going to do about it?"

I turn to look at my clock and nearly pop a vessel, "Who in the bloody hell let you into this house at seven in the morning!"

"Your dad."

"Dad's up already?"

"...Niall...maybe...over...." She says slowly.

"What!?" I get up quickly, running around my room grabbing clothes, and brushing my hair in front of my mirror. "Why is he here!?"

"Emma, Seriously? You ran off with Lucas, we didn't even know if you got home safe because you didn't have the decency to call either of us." She says it in that infuriatingly rational tone, and I resist kicking her out of my room.

Wait...

"What do you mean," I say turning away from my mirror and facing her.

"Really?" She says rolling her eyes, "We were worried. We didn't know if you came home safe."

I look at her from top to bottom, she couldn't have spent all night with Niall. She was wearing different clothes and it looked as if she had slept.

She sighs loudly, already knowing what thoughts were running rampant in my mind, "I went home, Emma. He dropped me off last night and picked me up on his way here.:

"Okay." I breathe in relief, turning back to the mirror and picking up mascara. "Did Niall say anything to you?"

Her lips fall into a frown, "Nothing."

"Not a word?"

"Not a word."

Niall was not the type to keep his emotions silent. When something infuriated him or made him unbelievably happy, everyone within a two-mile radius would know.

So what could this silence mean?

"You should go downstairs," Janice says pointing towards the door.

I put down the makeup and take a deep breath before stepping towards its direction, "Yeah, I should."

–--

For the first time, dad and Niall were not speaking loud enough for me to conveniently overhear from my perch on the wooden staircase. All that could be heard, in fact, were low murmur. Not a single word could be made out.

My hands tremble as I hold onto the railing, I'm not quite sure what is going to happen.

I feel Janice's small hand upon my back, gently pushing me forward, "It'll be okay." She whispers.

"And if it's not?"

"Then I'll be here waiting for you."

I smile wearily to myself before taking a deep breath and stepping forward off the final step.

"Oh, good morning, baby," Dad says with a tired smile.

"Morning," I say trying to force a smile upon my own face.

Dad looks at Niall with a furrowed brow, not quite understanding why hadn't greeted me yet. Niall looks up at dad and rolls his eyes slightly, "Good morning Emma Grace."

Emma Grace? Really?

"Good morning..."

I go about my business, pouring my cup of coffee, and putting some plates in the sink. It seemed as if mum hadn't woken up yet, and I knew for sure Ollie hadn't.

"Emma, I think your Uncle Niall deserves an apology," Dad says as I grab my mug. I almost drop it out of pure astonishment.

"For what!?"

Dad looks at me, a very confused look upon his face, "Emma, you ditched him even after he went to pick you up. He was worried about you. The least you can do is say you're sorry so we can move on with our lives."

"He tried to force me into the bloody car, I'm not saying I'm sorry."

"That's all good and well then." Niall says getting up from his seat and pushing it in, "Harry thank you for breakfast."

"Hey! Hold on now, this can't end like this." Dad says looking at Niall. "What's wrong with you mate, it's not like she hasn't pulled something like this before. At least that lad Lucas brought her home."

"Lucas is a bloody stranger, what if he had done something to her? What if she didn't make it home?"

"Niall." Dad says trying to calm him down, "She's here. She's okay. She won't do it again."

I shake my head and roll my eyes. This was ridiculous, did he seriously only come here to do this? To get me in trouble with dad?

"Emma, say you're sorry," Dad says trying to reason with me.

"Why? Give me one good reason why."

Dad simply looks at me and says, "Because we're family, and we love each other."

Fuck.

I sigh loudly as I turn to look at Niall. He meets my gaze for the first time today.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Niall stays quiet. It's only seconds that pass, but the silence is enough to make my stomach turn in fear of rejection.

"Me too, princess." Niall finally says.

Dad smiles, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards them, "Give him a hug now."

I look at Niall awkwardly, feeling guilty for what I had done. I was not quite sure if he would allow me to embrace him. I didn't want to push it, I didn't even know if he had really forgiven me or if he had just done it for dad's sake.

I look up at him through my eyelashes, and he smiles slightly with extended arms. As dad steps aside and lets us embrace I can't help but think that he's inevitable. It didn't matter how much we fought, or how bad it got, we loved each other.

How to define that love though, would be a whole other problem.

But for now, in the safety of his arms if only for a second, I feel as if the wall that had been built between us had finally fallen.

–--

After Janice had left and dad and Niall continued their chat downstairs, I found myself in my room looking at the paper planes that dad had painted on my walls long ago. I couldn't help but think about what dad had told me when I asked him about them a long while ago.

"We had learned to fly together, but we went in different directions."

It made me question fate, how could two people who so clearly loved each other, have to be separated? How could fate be so cruel? Dad never even got to speak to my real mother one last time, he'd been haunted by that for so long.

Regrets are perhaps one of my greatest fears, having seen my dad battle them for years on end. I don't want to regret anything, especially if it had to do with Niall.

"Emma?"

I look up, interrupted by my thoughts from the person who was constantly in them.

"Yeah?"

Niall leans upon the door frame, looking at me questioningly.

"I think we need to have a proper talk."

"I would agree."

I sit upon my bed and pat the spot next to me.

"After all that happened, you think this is appropriate?" He asks with a tinge of sarcasm.

"Would you just sit down?"

He approaches me cautiously, sitting down upon the quilted bedspread only mere inches away from me.

He stays silent, as I cross my legs and let them dangle off the side of the bed. I nervously start to fidget, the silence far too long and too much for me to handle.

"Would you quit it!" He says loudly, placing a hand upon mine.

His warmth radiates and he is slow to remove his hand from mine. I almost wish he hadn't.

He looks down at where his hand once was and sighs loudly. For the first time, he looks directly at me, his blue eyes clouded with a doubt I had never seen before. His silence, his eyes, his very being unnerves me.

When he finally speaks, it's in a low voice, "Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we going to do, princess?"


	12. Chapter 12

My heart beats wildly as he turns to look at me, he repeats it once more, "Emma, what are we going to do?"

I look up at him, not quite sure what to say.

"Emma?"

"What?"

"Do I really have to ask again?"

I shake my head and he sighs.

"Niall, I don't know what you want me to say."

"I don't know what I want to hear, to be honest."

We both nervously chuckle.

"Emma? Do you really want me to just forget any of this ever happened?"

Wouldn't that be the easiest solution though? To simply act as if these past few weeks had never occurred?

"Is that possible?"

He smirks, "No princess, I don't think it is."

"Then what other options do we have?"

He bites his lip and looks away, "We talk about our options."

"What are our options?" I say, getting a bit frustrated.

He sighs loudly, "Like a fucking never-ending circle."

He was right, this conversation was going nowhere.

"Niall?" I whisper, my voice shaky.

"Yeah?"

I clear my throat, hoping not to sound as nervous as I was, "Do you really forgive me?"

"Unfortunately." He mumbles, "I do. Even after you left me for that bloody wanker."

"If it makes you feel any better, nothing happened."

He rolls his eyes and shifts on the bed, "I'm sorry for overreacting."

"It's...um...understandable I guess." I stutter.

"Why is it understandable?"

"Well, I was being a proper bitch to you. So I can understand why you got so mad. But, that doesn't excuse you trying to force me into your car." He laughs loudly. I turn to look at him, his whole face lighting up when he laughs and I can't help but smile myself until I remember the other reason why I was mad at him. "What isn't understandable though," I continue, crossing my arms in front of my chest, "Is the fact that you came here, woke dad up at God knows what time, only to tell on me."

"Emma, I didn't even know if you got home safe!"

Okay, he was right about that. Just like Janice.

"Still." I say turning to look at him, "Did you really have to get dad involved?"

"I was bloody furious, okay?"

"Yeah..."

"That's not the only reason I was mad though."I braced myself for what he was about to say, knowing that it would have to do with the florescent-lit conversation we had the night before. "I just...I'm madder at myself than anything."

"What...why?"

"I'm supposed to be the fucking adult here. How could I say those things to you?"

"You mean the truth?"

He sighs loudly, "Emma. what would it change if it were the truth? The fact of the matter is you're you and I'm me. This isn't going to work."

"But, if you're you and I'm me, then why can't it work?"

"What?" he says furrowing his brow.

"Forget dad, mum, all of the other outside factors Niall. If it were just you and me, would it work?"

"Emma."

"Yeah?"

"Does it matter?"

I sigh and try not to look as miserable as I felt. He was right. Did it really matter? All of the outside factors would always weigh-in, it didn't matter how many hypothetical situations we made up.

"You're right," I say getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. He merely looks at me, not sure what I was about to say, "So do we really need to talk about this? I think this conversation is over." I don't know how I managed to say that, or how I even managed to walk this short distance without collapsing from nerves.

I lean against the wall next to the door and pray he leaves.

He gets up painstakingly slow, dragging out this painful process. As he makes his way to the door, he steps directly in front of me, his blue eyes locked on mine, "Are you sure this conversation is over?"

I look away, not wanting to say it again. I didn't want it to be over.

I didn't want this to end before it even started.

But what bloody choice did we have?

"Emma?"

"Yeah?" I say, knowing his voice urged me to look at him.

"Do we stand a chance?"

I turn to look at him, knowing what he meant. Knowing what he was asking would determine what would happen.

This would either be a finished conversation or the start of a new one.

"Niall..." I plead, "What is it that you want me to say? Do you want me to say this is okay? That our love would overcome all or some cliched shit like that?"

He smiles wearily, his eyes never leaving mine, "Would you mean it?"

I pause, only for a heartbeat, "Yeah. I would."

"All of it? The whole 'Our love would overcome all' and all that shit?" He says with a cocky smirk. Knowing that in part, he's won.

"Yeah." I take a breath as I feel him coming closer, his warmth radiating towards me. "I would."

Niall breathes out, coming closer to me and leaning in, "Good." He mutters, his mouth mere inches from my ear, "I would too."


	13. Chapter 13

I would love to say that after that finished conversation, everything had changed with Niall. But, it hadn't. One week later, and I was still stuck in his perpetual cycle of trying to relive the bloody past.

"Seriously Niall, the zoo again? What possibly could have changed from two weeks ago?" He smirks to himself as he continues driving along the road.

The day was unusually nice for London, the sun shining brightly as we made our way to our destination. The radio hummed in the background and as I looked out my window I silently wished that something would happen. Anything really. It had been a week, and still no mention of anything. Nothing at all!

Did he really mean what he had said, or was he simply playing with me? Something had to have changed after all that had happened, something had to be different! Why was he doing this?

"We're almost there," he says slipping on his Ray-Bans.

I roll my eyes, already bored with the idea of another trip to the zoo.

If we had honestly finished that conversation, then why hadn't anything changed?

I mope, leaning back against the leather seat, and closing my eyes. Another fucking day at the zoo, wonderful.

I feel the car come to a stop, and open my eyes slowly.

"Wait." I say turning to look at Niall, "Where are we?"

I look around and notice that we're only a few feet away from the zoo, but that he's not actually parked in the lot yet.

"I have a surprise for you." He says with a smile.

"And what is that?"

"Play along, and you'll find out."

–❈–

"No fucking way," I mutter as we enter through the backdoor of the large pool exhibit.

I feel my eyes widen as I look upon the shimmery waters. I feel my breath catch as I realize what Niall had planned.

Niall chuckles to himself, knowing he had truly surprised me, "Yes fucking way." He says taking off his sunglasses and looking upon the pool.

A dolphin swims up and glides upon the width of the clear blue waters. I look in amazement as it jumps and lands once more in the glittery depths.

"How...?" I say turning to look at him.

"Didn't you say you were sick and tired of coming to the zoo?"

"I...I didn't think you would listen to me..."

He chuckles to himself, pleased with what he's done, "Well, suit up."

"Suit up?"

"We're going for a dip, princess."

"What!? Really!?"

A man appears behind Niall and smiles widely, "Hello, beautiful. I'm Rick. I'll be supervising today." He extends his hand towards me and I take it, shaking it excitedly.

"So we'll actually be swimming...with them?"

"Yes, you will." Rick says looking towards the pool, "Now, you do know how to swim right?" I nod and he smiles once more, "Great, let's get to it then."

–❈–

"I can't believe that actually happened," I say as I twist my hair, ridding it of its excess water. Drops of water fall onto the pavement beside me, and I shake out my blonde wavy strands, hoping they won't frizz in this weather.

Niall turns to look at me and cockily smiles, knowing that he had finally managed to surprise me.

He wraps a towel around his neck and slips his sunglasses back on, his hair still shimmering in the light from the excess water. He takes the key from the pocket of his shorts and unlocks the car. His face hiding any type of excitement.

"I mean, did you see me? I totally glided in the water next to it!" I say excitedly, not really wanting to get in the car yet. I lean against the door as Niall places our bags in the backseat, "It even gave me a kiss! It was so cute!"

"He had a name, Emma."

I smile, "You're right." I admit. He smirks, knowing it would be one of the few times I'd admit he was. "It was so cute when Freddie kissed me. He's the cutest dolphin I've ever seen!"

He rolls his eyes and finally closes the door to the backseat and turns to look at me, "Careful, I might get jealous." My eyes widen as he leans in close and I hold my breath. His lips kink into that sarcastic smirk when he sees me turn tense. "Did you really have that much fun?" I nodded trying not to acknowledge how close I am to him. "I can tell, I don't think I've ever seen you this excited."

"Yeah," I mutter.

"Better than a regular trip to the zoo?"

I nod once more, "Mmmhmm."

"Guess I need to be more creative from now on." He steps away, the cocky smirk never disappearing. He opens the car door, "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get some dinner."

I get in the car, my head still abuzz from all the excitement of the past few hours.

I should be more careful what I wish for.

–❈–

"Okay, but really. You were pretty fucking surprised." Niall says with a smirk as he continues eating out of his take-out box.

We ended up back at his place, somewhere I felt unusually comfortable for not having been there in eight years.

We sat with boxes of Nando's scattered across the small kitchen table and ate whilst watching the sun set through the large spacious window before us.

I hadn't felt anything but pure happiness around him today, even as I sat with him at his kitchen table, I couldn't have thought of a more perfect way to end the day.

As infuriating as he could be, as impossible as the situation was, it was moments like these that made me believe that we could overcome all of that. But as always, I wrote it off as wishful thinking.

"Well, I was expecting another trip to the zoo..." I say with an embarrassed smile as I pick at the chicken that was leftover in the black tray.

"And instead you got kisses from Freddie." He says with mock envy, placing his fork onto his plate.

"He's the only one I'll be kissing, I don't see what the problem is," I replied coyly, looking up at him, placing my own fork into the tray. "It's not like I'm kissing anyone else, am I?"

Niall gets up, leaning across the small kitchen table, his nose close to mine "Are you sure about that?"

My eyes widen instantaneously, but in this small cozy kitchen, in this house that felt so much like a home, I finally had the will to respond, "Would you like to be the one to change that?"

I had challenged him, and he hadn't expected it. His eyes lock onto mine as if asking if he really could be the one to change that.

He brings his head closer to mine, not closing the gap, but allowing me to decide if I would. And as I look at his lips, trying to force myself to separate from him, I couldn't. Instead, I let myself do what I had wanted to since long ago.

My lips meet his, across his small wooden table, in the midst of our meal. Every outside factor is forgotten.

He breaks our kiss, only for mere moments, to come around to my side and kiss me properly. He grabs my hand, swinging me out of my seat and into his arms in a single motion. His hands wrap around my waist, pressing me to him. His warmth, his lips, his very being...I was going into sensory overload.

"Niall?" I say breathlessly, tilting my chin upwards slightly to look at him properly.

"Yeah?" He says holding me tightly to him.

"We're fucked aren't we."

He chuckles, planting a kiss upon my forehead, "Wouldn't have put it any other way, princess."


	14. Chapter 14

"We're so fucked." Niall says mockingly as we lay upon his plush sofa. His arms are wrapped around me, holding my body tightly to his.

The sun has already long ago said its farewell, and from this position, I could see a full moon through the large window in the kitchen perfectly.

"Yeah, we really are," I say intertwining my fingers in his.

I look at my small hand, interlocked in his, and immediately feel my heart jolt. Not only was it because of his touch, but of the sheer danger it held. The entirety of this relationship was built upon a ticking time bomb, and the moment someone found out about it, it would surely explode.

But in the confines of this rosy-colored bubble, in the confines of this night, it felt as if anything were possible.

"Are you sure about this?" I say turning to look at him.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." He says laying back upon a pillow.

I smile to myself, turning back to face the window, wondering how exactly everything had turned out this way. How not even the sixteen-year difference had affected him. How he could possibly love me.

I knew it was only the giddiness inside me that was covering up the sheer terror, but I didn't want its effects to fade quite yet.

"Princess?"

"Yeah?"

He tightens his grip around my hand and avoids looking directly at me, "Are we really doing this?"

I swallow roughly, "I don't know. Do you want to?"

"I...yeah. I want to."

"Are you sure? Are you sure that I'm worth destroying...basically this entire family? Are we even going to last?"

He stays quiet as if weighing the options in his mind, "Princess, I don't know. Only time can tell what will happen."

"But..."

"Shhh, don't ruin the moment Ems."

It would really be an adjustment to get used to his touch I realize as his body comes closer to mine.

"Niall?"

"Yeah?"

"Was it really only when I kissed you that you realized you loved me?"

He stays quiet and clears his throat, "Ems, I've always loved you. But that kiss...it just...it..." he gets flustered, and although I cannot see his face directly since my back was turned to him, I can imagine the shade of red it was most likely turning. "That kiss made the way I saw you change. You weren't a little girl anymore, you were..."

"Fit?"

"Nice try." He says with a chuckle, "You were...the thing I had been waiting for."

"Is that why you kept trying to pretend nothing had changed?"

"Smart one, aren't we."

"I'm serious."

He stays quiet again, almost as if he's drifting off to sleep.

"Niall?" I whisper.

"Hmmm?"

"Oh, I thought you were asleep," I mutter.

He unwraps his hand from mine and slowly starts tracing my waist with his long fingers. I nervously feel my heart flutter.

"Emma, what would your friends think if you told them you were going out with your Uncle Niall?" He asks rather seriously.

"I don't have any friends other than Janice."

"Stop lying."

"I'm not," I say with a smirk, she was the only friend I actually needed.

"Okay, well what about when we're out in public together?"

"Niall, you don't look a day over thirty."

"What about your parents?"

"Oh..."

"Exactly my point...oh."

I unwrap myself from his embrace and turn to look at him, propping myself up on my elbows, "But even after you weighed all these pros and cons..."

"I still chose you."

"You're a bloody moron," I say with a smirk.

"You princess, are my fucking weakness." He says planting a kiss upon my lips. My breath catches, and I smile when he looks at me.

"Is that a compliment?"

"I'd like to think so." He says with a smirk.

I look out the window, his hand in mine once more, and see that the sky had begun to turn the lightest shade of pink.

"Maybe I should head home."

"Yeah." He says rather sadly. "What are you going to tell, Harry?"

"I don't know...maybe that I spent the night at Janice's."

"Yeah." He nods.

"I could say the trip to the zoo was so terrible, I bailed early and went to hers."

"Very funny." He says as I start to sit up.

He grabs his keys off the table in the center of the room and looks back at me, "Ready to go?"

"No," I mutter.

"We have all the time in the world, Emma." He says stepping towards me and planting a kiss upon my forehead. "But, maybe it's best if we take you home before Harry has a heart attack."

"Maybe you should...leave me a bit away from home?" I suggest.

"Good plan." He says with a nod.

–❈–

Niall drops me off at the corner by my house, the sun already bestowing light onto the paved streets.

The enchantment was broken, the moonlit promises now just a memory. It was time to come back to reality.

I hurriedly ran across the street, opening the gate quietly. My bare feet cold upon the pavement. I kept my shoes in my hands, too tired to care.

I carefully open the front door, hoping not to awaken anyone, especially dad. These were the times I wished I could live at Uni the entirety of the year, so I wouldn't have to answer to dad when I came home at this hour.

As I close the door, I look around to see the sunlight already beaming through the curtains, my eyes adjust quickly to the bright light.

I step upon the first step of the staircase, praying it wouldn't squeak. Then the second, then the third. I figured by the fourth step, that I would make it. And I climb the remaining ones with less anxiety.

As I finally open the door, to my obviously unslept in bed, I sigh in relief.

Finally.

"Emma?"

Of course, I could never pull this off.

I look up to see a mum with a furrowed brow at the end of the hallway. She tightens her bathrobe and walks towards me.

"Where in the bloody hell have you been all night!?"


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh, good morning, mum," I say in a whisper, praying that dad would not hear us.

"Good morning, mum? Is that all you're really going to say to me?" She also lowers her voice, knowing that she didn't want to involve dad either.

"I was with Janice."

"I don't care who you were with, it's almost seven in the bloody morning, Emma."

"I'm sorry."

"You're still living in this house, even if it is for the summer."

"I know," I mutter.

"And I know you weren't with Janice."

"What?"

She pushes me into my room and closes the door, "Where were you really?"

"Mum, I was with Janice at the bloody pub. Where else would I go?"

"Really, then why did I see an SUV drop you off?" She tilts her head and squints at me, "Weren't you with your Uncle Niall yesterday?"

"What, were you using binoculars?"

"Obviously not, or I would have gotten the plates!"

I sigh loudly, "Alright, I get it."

"No, you are not brushing me off this time. I may act like a pushover, but Emma, your dad spent the entire night waiting for you to come home. He was worried sick! And you didn't answer my question, Emma."

"What?"

"Weren't you with your Uncle Niall?"

I sigh loudly, "Only for the afternoon. I went out with Janice afterward."

"Only for the afternoon?"

"Yes."

She furrows her brow, "Wasn't that your Uncle Niall's car that dropped you off?"

"No."

"Emma."

"I said no."

I hear the door open and immediately we both turn to look.

"What's all the ruckus?" Dad asks sleepily running a hand through his disheveled curls. "Emma? Where have you been all night?" His tone wasn't one of anger, just one of pure worry.

"I was out with Janice at the pub nearby."

He yawns and smiles, "So you're alright?"

"Yeah."

He walks towards me and wraps me in his embrace, "Just don't do it again without calling to let us know you're alright."

"Okay."

Mum shakes her head as dad shuffles back out into the hallway and in the direction of their bed.

"You're lucky he's so in love with you Emma. You could do no wrong in his eyes."

"Yeah..."

"But in mine. Hmm. To be decided." She arches an eyebrow and smirks at me, "Go to bed, I'll wake you up in the afternoon."

"Love you," I say as she leaves the room.

"Me too, Ems. Go to sleep."

As she closes the door, I exhale loudly. My heart raced at the thought just mere hours earlier.

I was in deep.

–❈–

I awaken hours later, still in my clothes from last night. I get out of bed and open the door just a crack, immediately I hear laughter and the unmistakable sound of Niall's Irish accent.

I run to the bathroom, haphazardly peel of clothes, and jump into the shower. Moments later, I brush my teeth, my towel wrapped around me tightly. And finally, I run back into my, pull out the floral dress from the closet, and put it on. I brush through my wet hair, working it into a braid, and finally twirl in front of the mirror, pleased that I had managed to look this good this fast.

Who was I? When did I ever twirl in front of a mirror?

I shake my head of those thoughts and smile widely, he was here. But, no, I had to play it cool. Nothing happened, nothing happened.

I make my way down the stairs, and find all of them sitting down to lunch.

"Nice of you to join us," Dad says lifting his mug. He smiles and waves me over.

Of course, as always, the seat next to Niall is saved for me.

"Where were you last night Emmie?" Ollie says shoveling more food onto his plate, "I learned a new song on my drums."

"Oh, well you can play it for me today, okay?"

Mum and dad looked at me with furrowed brows, never had I willingly offered to listen to Ollie play the drums.

"Really?" He says excitedly.

"Yeah, of course!"

Niall turns to look at me and smirks, "Someone's in a good mood."

"Had a great night."

"Really, because you were complaining about having a "terrible" day with me." He continues smirking, and I know to play my part well.

I roll my eyes, "Maybe you should consider taking me somewhere other than the zoo."

He smirks, "Then maybe I just shouldn't ask you out at all."

"That's an idea." I retort.

Dad clears his throat loudly and asks, "Did you have fun with Janice at least?"

"Ran into a lad I went to primary with."

"Wanker." Niall says under his breath, only audible to my ears.

"Oh, who?"

"Lucas?"

"Lucas..." Dad looks lost in thought for a moment, as if trying to recall, "Oh, the scrawny little lad. The one who walked you home the other night?"

"Yeah."

Adding in details always makes the story more believable, and mentioning Lucas would annoy Niall. Annoying Niall was always fun.

"Does he still look all lanky and scrawny, then?"

"No! He looks fit!" I say with a wide smile.

Niall slams his knee into mine under the table and I look at him sharply.

Dad simply laughs and continues on eating. As if pleased that it looked like my interests were shifting.

"Are you busy today, princess?" Niall asks.

"Not particularly."

"Would you fancy spending some time with Uncle Niall?"

My heart beats wildly within my chest, I'm not sure I can contain it.

"I guess."

"But she has to listen to me play the drums first!" Ollie says, finishing his food quickly, no doubt so he could play his drums.

"Deal," Niall says extending his hand to Ollie. Ollie takes it and tries to shake it firmly.

"Okay, Ollie. Come on, show me what you've learned!" I say, pushing my plate aside and getting up from my seat.

"Yes!" He comes around the table and pulls my hand leading me towards the stairs. Mum and dad laugh, and Niall smiles. It fills my heart with an indescribable feeling.

Love makes everything seem brighter than the fucking sun, doesn't it?

–❈–

As I step out of Ollie's room after twenty minutes of an actually decent drum session, I hear dad and Niall's voices in the kitchen.

As usual, I go down a few steps and listen to their conversation.

"Must you really go out today? She's barely had any sleep."

"Mate, we're only going to Tesco to get the groceries for tonight," Niall says.

Tonight?

"You really just let her go after you both went to the zoo? You couldn't call me?"

"Sorry, mate. I was busy last night."

"Hmm," Dad replies, I could already imagine him crossing his arms.

"What are you doing?" Ollie asks with a curious expression.

"Nothing," I say with an innocent smile. "How about a bowl of ice cream, huh?"

He nods excitedly and races down the steps, alerting dad and Niall to our presence.

"Oh, that was excellent, Ollie! I heard it all the way down here!" Niall says excitedly. Ollie smiles widely.

"Thanks." He mutters.

"Baby, guess who's coming over tonight for dinner?" Dad says with a sly smile upon his dimpled face.

"Who?"

Both dad and Niall look at me with ridiculously cherry smiles upon their faces.

"Who?" I repeat.

"Come on Ems, I need to go to Tesco to pick up the groceries," Niall says grabbing his keys off the counter.

"This is our big trip out?"

"Believe me, we need to go grocery shopping for tonight, princess."

I turn to look at dad and he nods solemnly.

"What is going on?"

"You'll see," Dad says.

Why am I always the last to find out?


	16. Chapter 16

"All of them?" I mutter as we walk through the spacious aisles of Tesco.

Niall drives the cart, stopping every few seconds to grab things off the shelves, "All of them, Ems."

"Like, every single one of them is coming?" I say pausing to grab two more boxes of pasta, seeing as Niall wanted to feed about 20 people with only three boxes.

"Yes. Every. Single. One." He says grabbing the boxes from my hands and putting them in the cart.

"Wow. It's been so long since we've all been together."

"It's because I'm back." He says cockily.

I roll my eyes, "What time are they coming over?"

"We have a few hours."

"But, really? Today?"

Niall looks up at me and smiles, giving me butterflies, "It was the only day everyone was free."

We continue down the aisles, grabbing absurd amounts of food and filling the shopping cart to the brim. How mum would manage to make this into a feast for that many people I would really like to see.

"I've missed them," I say as we start to head out of the store, shopping cart now full of bags.

"It's nice to see the family back together," Niall says pushing the cart through the parking lot.

"Yeah."

A silence fills the slight space between us, but it's comfortable, as it's always been.

"You know, we can talk about what happened yesterday." He says, not looking at me.

"I know what happened yesterday."

"So what are we going to do about it?" He says opening the car and starting to place groceries inside the trunk.

I go to grab a bag and brush my hand against his on accident, instead of moving his hand he grasps mine, I smile "What can we do about it?"

"Maybe we should try this out?"

And for the first time, I don't think about dad or mum or what anyone else will think, I simply say "Yes."

He grabs the last bag, throwing into the trunk, and closes the door. He leans over and kisses my cheek, "Good."

–❈–

For the first time in the longest, I watch mum as she scurries around the house. She fluffs the pillows on the sofa, rearranges flowers in vases, and somehow still manages to put on a beautiful dress and curl her hair.

I watch in amazement as she starts opening the oven, revealing the source of the delicious warm smell the house had acquired.

"That looks ace, mum," I say admiring her from my stool at the counter.

Mum looks up at me and smiles, "Would have been better if I had more time."

I roll my eyes and smile, "Mum, really? It looks like bloody perfection as it is."

She blushes and shoos me away, "Go finish getting ready, they'll be here soon! Liam just called and said he and Sophia were only a few minutes away."

I hop off the stool and walk towards the staircase, already knowing what I was going to wear. But as I go to open the door to my room, I hear the plucking of guitar strings, distracting me from my current mission. I tilt my head slightly, realizing that the sound was coming from the small makeshift studio dad had made long ago.

I walk to the door, opening it slightly, and peeking through the crack. I see Niall with a guitar upon his legs, humming a melody. What a damning melody it was, coming from his angelic voice.

"Jam sesh?" I say with a smile.

He looks up with a smile, "Harry wanted me to tune the guitars. Thought we should get the band back together for an hour." He pats the wooden seat next to him, "Take a seat, you still remember the cords I taught you?"

"It's been a while," I mutter as he places the guitar upon my lap. I try to place my fingers where Niall had once taught me but inevitably fail. "It's been a really long while."

Niall chuckles loudly, "Time to re-teach you then, princess."

I hold my breath as I feel the chair squeak against the floor, and feel him coming around to wrap his arms around me. He grabs my hand, placing them on the correct strings, his breath warm against my neck.

"C" He whispers. My hands nervously strum the strings as his hands move my fingers once more, "D"

I turn my head slightly and catch him staring at me, his eyes intently focused upon my lips. I tilt my face a little more, my lips slightly grazing his. My hand drops from the guitar, the music ceasing. And even though all was silent, we were too caught up in each other, never realizing that the door had slightly opened.

"Niall you Irish bastard, it's been too lon—" We both look up in sheer terror, locking eyes with Uncle Louis. His face drops completely, "What are you two doing!?"

Niall immediately steps back around my chair, standing in front of me, and mutters, "Nothing, mate. Just teaching her the cords."

"That's not what it fucking looked like! Are you out of your fucking mind? Have you finally lost it, Niall? Do you know who this is? Perhaps not." Uncle Louis yells coming into the room and getting into Niall's face.

"Tone it down, Lou," Niall states taking a step back.

"Tone it down!?" Uncle Louis says in a harsh whisper, obviously having taken into consideration the fact that perhaps it was not the best idea to involve dad in this spat, "I haven't seen you in God knows how bloody long and I find you snogging Harry's daughter!? How in the fuck do you want me to tone it down."

Uncle Louis' was livid, his anger froze my blood. I was literally stuck in the chair, the guitar still firmly in my grasp. I didn't dare move, and instead simply focused on the wall in front of me trying to remain at least a bit calm.

"Louis, it's not what you think," Niall says trying to reason with him.

"What am I supposed to think Niall?"

"I..." Niall takes a breath, "Fuck...I don't know."

"Emma..." Uncle Louis says with a rather disappointed look upon his face, "What...what is going on?"

Fuck, we were so fucked.

"We...we..." I could feel my throat closing up and my heart racing.

"What's going on?" Everyone turns to look at dad as he stands at the doorway, 'What's with the atmosphere, someone break a string?"

Uncle Louis rolls his eyes and sighs loudly, "Course not." He plasters a smile upon his face and walks towards me, "I was just so surprised at how much Emma's changed in just a year." He says sharply.

"Has it been a year?" Dad says pensively.

"Mate, it feels like it's been a bloody lifetime." Uncle Louis says walking towards dad and clasping him in a hug.

"Niall?" Dad says untangling himself from Uncle Louis.

"Yeah?"

"Mind helping me look through some boxes? Had some things I wanted to show the lads, but I can't find them now." Dad runs a hand through his hair, oblivious to the tension surrounding him. 

"Yeah, of course." Niall quickly exits the room, with dad diligently following after him.

All the while I'm left with a scowling Uncle Louis.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?"

"I..."

"No!" He takes a breath, "Emma, baby." He kneels down in front of me, taking my hand, "I know...I know that you've always loved Niall. But, Emma."

"Yeah?" I say whisper, finally looking into his eyes.

"This...this can't happen."

I stare at him blankly, "What can't happen?"

"Baby, you can't....you can't be with Niall."

"But...why?"

"Emma." He says squeezing his hand in mine, "We've all taken a part in raising you, we've all love you as our own. Personally, I can't let this happen. I can't. As a father myself, and as your Uncle...this can't happen."

"But Uncle Louis..." I whisper once more, my voice getting shakier by the second.

"What, Ems?"

"I love him."

Uncle Louis looks at me blankly, not quite sure what to respond to me. What could he say? Of course he had known that I loved Niall, but that Niall would reciprocate that love? He never could have fathomed that twist of fate.

"I..."

He lifts a finger, signaling me not to speak quite yet. After he takes a moment, he sighs loudly and finally states "I know that you've always fancied your Uncle Niall, Emma. But...this is just...wrong."

"Why?"

"Really, Ems, why?" He asks a bit taken aback.

"Yes, really. Why? Why is it so bad that I love him? Why is it so bad that he loves me too?" I argue, my voice too shaky to be taken seriously, but I try anyway.

"He doesn't love you in that way, Emma."

"How do you know that?"

"Emma, I don't know what he's thinking or what you're thinking, but what I can tell is that he's hurt, he's not well off and you've something that's normal for him."

"So what, you're reducing me to a rebound?"

"Ems..." He says getting up and sitting in the chair next to me, "Do you even know why they got divorced?"

"He let her go...?"

"Did he?" He asks in a rather pointed tone.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Emma, I know you're young, and I know that maybe you've always just dreamed about this happening...but baby, think about it in the long run." I stay silent, already knowing my options "You're both better off not doing this. Whatever it is." He says with a scrunched up face.

"Do you know why they got divorced?" I asked.

"No."

"Then why do you assume the worst?"

Uncle Louis sighs loudly, "Emma, I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to...I don't want you to lose your family over something that could potentially be...nothing."

"Are you saying I'd lose my family over this?"

He starts to rise from the seat, sticking his hands in his pockets, "Ems, things could never be the same after something like this."

–❈–

After finally changing and wiping off tear stricken cheeks, I make my way downstairs. It was increasingly obvious that everyone had arrived, for the room buzzed with familiarity and excitement.

"Emma?" I turn to see Uncle Liam and smile widely, "Goodness gracious, love! You've gotten so big!"

"You act like it's been forever!" I say embracing him tightly. "Where's Auntie Sophia?"

"In the living room with your mum." He lets go and looks at me top to bottom, "How's uni treating you?"

"Great."

"Emma?" My eyes widen as I see Uncle Zayn approach with a toddler in his arms. I hadn't seen Uncle Zayn in what felt like forever.

"Is that Zack?" He nods excitedly, also embracing me, but only with one arm.

I reach for the toddler in his arm, and he hands him to me. Zack clings to me, a bit confused as to who I was, "You don't remember me, do you?"

He shakes his head

"I saw you when you were a wee little thing. Cute little bugger you were." I say hugging him to me.

"You've grown up so fast." Uncle Zayn says shaking his head, "Time flies..."

"She has grown up fast, hasn't she." Louis says approaching us and crossing his arms, "Tell us, Ems, any boyfriends?"

I look at Uncle Louis pointedly, knowing what he was playing at. This would be his revenge, but that would be the extent of it.

I hope.

"No, no boyfriends," I mutter ruffling Zack's hair. He looks up at me and smiles bashfully.

"A girl as beautiful as you? I don't believe it."

"Believe it," I say handing Zack back to Zayn. Zayn welcomes him back with a tight squeeze. "I'll be right back," I mutter.

They pay no mind and jump right into some conversation about Syco's latest blunder.

I turn back and go up the stairs, hoping to find Niall. And of course, find him in the small closet near the end of the hallway going through some boxes.

As soon as he hears my footsteps he turns to look at me, "Thought it was fucking Louis." He mutters shaking his head.

"It could have been worse," I say sitting down on the hardwood next to him.

"It could have been Harry." He says sifting through the large cardboard box.

"Niall?"

"Yeah, princess?"

I sigh loudly, debating whether or not to ask him. Fucking Uncle Louis, he had put the doubt in my mind on purpose.

"Did you tell me the truth?" I finally manage to utter.

He puts down the object in his hand and gives me his full attention, "About what?"

"About your wife."


	17. Chapter 17

I silently swear at myself for having asked him. Niall looks at me blankly, there is silence, only him breathing and contemplating his words carefully.

"Ems, I already told you everything." He turns away and starts putting everything back in the box.

"Did you really?"

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"I..."

He finally tilts his towards me, "Do you not believe me?"

"No."

"Then?"

"I...was just curious. You didn't really give me any details."

"Do you have to know the details...?"

Yes. "No..."

"Then, princess?" He says rather tiredly.

"Nevermind..."

I guess...I'd ask another time...

"Do you think Louis will tell dad?" I whisper, leaning into Niall.

Niall smiles wearily, "I don't think so. Not now anyway." He pushes back a strand of stray hair off my face, "We just need to be more careful."

"Definitely." I nod, placing my hand lightly over his.

He chuckles, "Ems, that's not being careful." I go to pull my hand away, but he keeps it in his, "We'll learn to adjust, I guess."

I giggle, shaking my head. He was right though, we had been careless. We needed to keep a level head about us, and this was not doing us any favors.

I slip my hand away from his and get up from the floor, "Where's dad?"

"Don't know. Said something about some CDs."

I lean over, bending slightly to reach Niall, planting a kiss upon his forehead, "Okay." I walk away quickly only to be called back.

"Hey." I look over my shoulder cheekily and see him smirking "Come back here, I deserve a proper kiss."

I turn back around, "Nope. We need to learn to adjust."

"Tease." He mutters as I walk down the hallway.

"Deal with it!"

Turn to go down the stairs, ready to face the rest of the family. For now, for now, we just have to be careful. But what if we were caught again? Was it worth risking this? I mean, as much as I hate to admit it Uncle Lou was right. If everyone found out about Niall and me...I don't think there would be days like this anymore.

I walk down the steps, hearing the commotion already. All of my uncles and their wives and their kids. This house was alive again, abuzz with love and excitement and happiness.

How could I take that away?

"Emma, where's your dad?" Mum says walking towards me.

I shrug, "He and Niall were looking for some stuff upstairs."

"I'll go look for him then, everyone's hungry."

She quickly goes up the stairs, and I'm left in the kitchen by myself. I figure I could help mum with laying the food out, and I start by taking the main courses to the table and then come back for the baskets of bread and bowls of salad. As I walk to the kitchen on my third trip, I'm interrupted by a hand upon my shoulder.

"Can we have a chat?"

I roll my eyes, "Uncle Lou, no offense, but I'm in no mood to speak to you right now."

"It wasn't a question, Ems."

We walk to the island in the middle of the kitchen and sit on stools facing each other. Uncle Louis' face had aged well, his hair still a mess, now more than ever. As his piercing blue eyes focus on mine, I can't help but sigh. Here we go.

"Emma, I get it."

"What?"

"I understand why...why you fancy Niall and why you're most likely going to be hard-headed about this."

I furrow my brow, "Why?"

"It's just that...maybe...maybe if you weren't Harry's daughter, and Niall was just a bloke you had met some night. Maybe then I would say...you know...I could see you two together."

"Really?"

"But, love, that's not the way it is."

"I know."

"Then why is it so hard to understand?"

"It's not. It's not that it's hard to understand, I understand it."

"Then?"

"I don't...I am not going to give up on this just because everyone says it's not right. Why is it not right?" I knew why, but the pros outweighed the cons...didn't they?

"Are you fucking kidding me? Why is it not right? Emma, there's a sixteen year age difference!"

"Many people have age differences like that, that's not a big deal," I argue.

"Really, with their uncle?"

I scoff, "He is not my uncle."

"You know what I mean, Emma."

"No, I don't." I say stubbornly, "He is not my uncle. He is not my anything, and quite frankly this is really none of your business."

"Oh, it's not?" He says furrowing his brow, "Well, sorry love, but I'm making it my fucking business. Have you thought about what your father would say if he were to find out? What about Eddie, huh? What would your mum think?" I stay silent, conceding that point to him. "This whole world does not revolve only around you and Niall. We live in it too Emma."

"I know! I know! Okay, I understand!" I say rather loudly, frustrated beyond words.

He looks at me, frustrated as well. Moments pass before he finally speaks, "I just...fuck." He says running a hand through his hair, "What is the protocol for this? I don't know what to do or what to say." He looks at me helplessly, "Fuck me, I'm turning into Harry."

I unwillingly chuckle, dad was the worst at looking for the right words in a messy situation. Perhaps it came with the whole 'being a dad' thing.

"Well, at least I got a laugh." He says shaking his head.

He looks at me pensively as I feel myself starting to slowly calm down.

"Uncle Louis..."

"Yeah?"

"Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah." he nods, "It is that bad, Ems."

"Then what, do I just end it with Niall? Is that what you think is going to fix this problem."

He shakes his head, "I know it doesn't sound fair, and I know it isn't. Honestly...Emma, I have no idea how to fix this problem. Fuck, I'm scared about raising my own little girl now."

I smile wearily, "You're a good dad, Uncle Lou."

"Terrible uncle though."

"No...annoying yes."

"Hey!"

"You have the loudest mouth ever, could you imagine if mum or dad had heard you?"

"If I had heard what?" Mum says stepping off the last step and walking towards us.

"Oh, nothing." we both say simultaneously.

Mum eyes us suspiciously, "Didn't seem like nothing."

"Don't you have guests to attend to?" I say motioning towards the living room.

She rolls her eyes, "Can't hide things from me for long, you both know that."

Her heels clack against the floor as she walks away, calling everyone to get ready for dinner.

"Promise me something, Emma." Uncle Louis says coming around the island and standing in front of me.

"What is that?" I ask suspiciously.

"I want you to be careful. But not just that...I want you...I want you to be happy. I do. But, remember, you have a family Emma. We love you, but sometimes...some bonds aren't strong enough to face these kinds of impacts."

Of course, he was right. If dad found out, what was once a brotherly relationship between him and Niall would become undone in a matter of syllables.

"Promise me you'll be smart about this."

"I will."

He embraces me tightly, "I might still kill Niall though."

I pull back, "Uncle Lou."

"I may have a soft spot for you, but that bloody bastard is going to get an earful from me."

"Hey." I chide jokingly, "I kind of like Niall, he wouldn't be useful if you kill him."

"Very funny. But the last thing I want to hear from you is how much you fancy Niall, please spare me."

"What!?" Dad says coming down the stairs with Niall following right behind him, "You still fancy Niall!?"


	18. Chapter 18

I turn to look at dad. Niall is directly behind him, wincing, as dad walks towards me. I try to keep a level head, but panic sets in quickly. I look at Niall and he shakes his head slightly as if telling me to keep calm and play it off.

"I...I think you heard wrong, dad."

Uncle Louis nods fervently, "Mate, I was just playing around."

"Yeah, me too."

Dad furrows his brow, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "Ems...you don't..." He turns to look at Niall and then looks at Uncle Louis, "Would you two mind?"

"Oh, no. Of course not." Niall says walking towards Uncle Louis and pulling him towards the living room.

"I'm still mad at you." Uncle Louis mutters as he allows Niall to pull him away.

Dad rolls his eyes, and finally looks back at me "Emma...do you...still..." He takes a breath and runs his hands through his curly mop of hair, "Do you...still...fancy your..." He sighs again, loudly this time, "Uncle Niall?"

I avoid his stare, knowing that if I looked into his eyes I would cave and tell him, "No." I mutter.

"Emma."

"What."

"Baby, look at me."

I hesitantly look up at his green eyes, my stomach turning as I try to say it again, "No."

"You don't have to...lie..." He says awkwardly shifting from one leg to another. This was not his area of expertise.

"I'm...not."

"Emma, this is serious. Come on now, baby."

I look up at him, "What if I did?"

"It's just a crush..." He says looking at me nervously, "It'll pass...." He gulps audibly, "I hope."

I smile wearily, "Dad, don't worry about it. We were just messing around. That was so long ago that I had a crush on him...how could I still?"

How could I tell him? How could I tell him that it won't pass? That it's even worse than he could imagine. That...that Niall loves me too...

He chuckles, "You're right. Your dad's just being silly."

"Oh, dad," I say with a guilty smile. Knowing that for now, he wouldn't be as suspicious.

"Let's just eat, yeah?" He says uncrossing his arms and visibly relaxing."

"Yeah."

He wraps an arm around me, pulling me into his warm embrace, and walking us towards the entrance to the living room. He cheerily announces, "Let's eat!" to our large family. "Come on now, food'll get cold!" Dad turns to look at me, his eyes sparkling, and his smile wide. He was at his best when we were all together.

How could I take that away from him?

–❈–

The strumming of Niall's guitar along with the melodic and rich voices of my uncles and dad fill the large room. Mum had dimmed the lights, the adults had refilled their wine glasses, and the children had sat around curiously looking at their fathers singing the songs that told the story of their lives.

I sang along quietly, knowing all of their songs by heart, as cliche as that may seem. But at the same time, I studied them.

At this moment, it was as if I were eleven again...watching them rehearse for a show. It was...simply magical.

I lean back against the sofa, sitting on the plush carpet with Ollie. He leans his head against my side, Louis' little girl, Ellie, sitting near us.

Some of the smaller children had been slowly falling asleep, the cords making the room peaceful.

"I think we're done for tonight," Dad says quietly looking at Zack and Penelope, Uncle Zayn and Auntie Perrie's children, fast asleep. He smiled as he saw Ellie's eyes slowly closing, leaning against Ollie.

"No, one more Uncle Harry!" Liam's oldest, Connor, exclaims.

"Aw, Connor, one more?" Dad says, unable to say no to any of the kids.

"Yes!"

"Which one, buddy?"

My uncles look at each other smilingly, obviously pleased.

"The one dad sang to mummy on her birthday."

They all turn to look at uncle Liam and he smiles widely, "Fireproof."

"My favorite," I whisper.

Niall looks up at me and winks discretely. I shake my head, smiling lightly.

Niall starts the cords, dad starting off the song. I sing along, stopping only when Niall begins his verse,

"I'm feeling something deep inside, hotter than a jet stream burnin' up, I got a feeling deep inside. It's taking, it's takin', all I got. Yeah, it's taking, it's takin', all I got."

The rest of the room seems to fade, leaving me only in the world of their song. I remember listening to them rehearsing it, writing it, playing it for the first time. It didn't seem to make sense until now.

"It's been so long, It's been so long, Maybe we're fireproof."

I look up once more, locking eyes with Niall. He smiles slightly, singing the chorus with the rest of the group.

He looked at me differently than before, his eyes glimmering, even in the dimmed lighting of the living room.

Eight years had come and gone, so much has passed. And even though this shit storm was about to hit its highest point...it felt like...

All this time, all this mess, and still we wanted to weather it all.

Was this being fireproof?

The song slowly fades out, satisfied smiles upon their faces as the mums' clap.

"I think we should call it a night," Dad says in a whisper, looking at all the little ones who had fallen asleep.

"We should do this more often." Auntie Sophia says, baby Izzie asleep upon her lap.

"A night of lullabies?" Uncle Lou says picking up Ellie and cradling her to his chest.

"Would make bedtime easier." Auntie Perrie replies as Uncle Zayn hands her Zack. He holds a sleeping Penelope to him.

I simply smile, at peace for the first time in the longest.

Ollie looks up at me sleepily, "Emmie?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Why can't we do this all the time?"

"Was it that much fun, Ollie?"

He nods, "I was too little to remember when we used to do this, wasn't I."

"Yeah, you were."

"Why didn't we keep doing it though?" he asks seriously, a pensive look upon his face.

"Well Ollie, everyone's busy. They all have their own families now."

"Aren't we a family though?" He says looking around the room, amongst the adults who were now bidding their farewells.

"Yeah," I mutter. "We are, bud."

"Did you see how happy mum and dad were?" He says with a bright smile.

"Yeah."

"I hope we do this more often...You think we will now that Uncle Niall is back?"

I clear my throat, "Hopefully."

Ollie gets off the floor, offering me a hand to help me up. I smile as he struggles to lift me off the ground.

"You're heavy." He says with a furrowed brow.

"You don't say those kinds of things to a lady." I chide.

He smiles, hugs me, and runs off. Typical Ollie.

I watch as he goes across the room to bid his farewells. And when I turn to leave as well, I'm stopped by Niall.

"What did you think princess?"

I smile, "You haven't lost your touch."

He leans in, almost as if he were saying his own goodbyes, "Oh princess, you've yet to see my touch."

I feel myself burning up as he wraps me in his embrace, only for a second. When he pulls back, with a cocky smirk upon his face, he simply says "Goodnight, Ems."

"Night," I say, feeling my face still burning a bright red.

Perhaps I was not quite yet fireproof.


	19. Chapter 19

Aside from the issue of dad possibly finding out about everything that had happened thus far, I was having reoccurring panic attacks at the simple thought of Niall's touch.

There were sleepless nights where all I thought of were his fingers upon my skin, or my hands tangled in his silky hair. It was bloody marvelous thinking that he was mine. But these were all relatively innocent thoughts.

But then, what would I do when faced with a man? Surely Niall had...ahem...done it before. And here I was, my second kiss in twenty years. Was I even ready for this?

From the sound of it, Niall was. With his constant teasing and touches, they begged for more. But how could I even think of doing anything more when his simple touch sent me into cardiac arrest?

"Emma?"

I jump up from my bed, thoughts scrambled, and smile in relief at mum's face peeking in the doorway.

"What's up?"

"Oh, just checking in." She says coming to sit upon my bed. I lay my head in her lap and immediately she starts running her delicate fingers through my blonde waves.

"Heard something interesting that your dad said yesterday."

"What's that?"

"Said he overheard you and Uncle Louis the other day."

I jump up, "No."

"Ems, it's okay."

"No, it's really not."

"Your dad was just a tad bit concerned."

"And why would that be?"

"Well, love, you're not eleven anymore. This crush...it's not as innocent as before."

I blush furiously, "Mum."

She rolls her eyes, "Grow up, Emma. I'm trying to speak to you woman to woman."

"Oh, please, don't." I plead.

"Emma." she says ignoring me completely, "It's okay. I understand that maybe you still fancy your Uncle Niall, but you're at an age where...things could get rather...messy."

"Messy?"

"I'm not saying that your Uncle Niall would reciprocate your feelings," Oh boy, was she in for a surprise then, "But if he were to find out about this...it may cause some...tension?" She says struggling to find the right word.

"Okay, mum."

"Why don't you find a nice boy your age? What was that lad's name? Lucas?"

"He's a wanker." I say rubbing my temples.

"Well, never mind him. Just...don't...don't think that what I'm saying is that you shouldn't like your Uncle Niall."

"I know."

"It's just that...I don't want you to get your heart broken, Emma. You know?"

I smile wearily, "I know."

She fluffs my hair, "Maybe it's my fault. I did always encourage you."

I chuckle, "Good point." I'd remember that for when shit hit the fan.

"Well, either way, let's just tell your dad that you were messing around. Don't need him to get all worked up about nothing."

"I couldn't agree more."

–❈–

It was a rainy, gray, and quite frankly depressing day once more in the small town of Primrose Hills. Big surprise.

I call Janice so that we could meet at the small cafe dad had always taken me to, simply delighted at the thought of having a large hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream.

As I wait outside the shop, umbrella in hand, Janice arrives in wellies and a rain jacket.

"You're so bloody weird, it's the middle of summer and you want a hot chocolate?"

I smirk, "Hey, it's pretty chilly out."

"It's London, Ems."

I roll my eyes, "Get in the shop."

I open the door, allowing her to go in first and pick a booth. Once we're finally settled and have ordered, Janice looks at me with a large smile, "So..."

"So?"

"What's happened with you and Niall?"

I try to hide my smile, but can't help it.

"A lot then?" She says excitedly.

"Too much. Much too much for me to handle."

"Oh, how much is too much?" She says worriedly.

I furrow my brow, "What? Oh...OH, no none of that." I say shaking my head, "Just a cuddle or two nothing serious."

"Well...he is almost forty Ems. I don't think you can keep him satisfied with a cuddle for long."

"What do you know about anything like this?"

"About as much as you." She says pointedly.

"Touche," I respond, tapping my fingers upon the polished wooden table.

"Maybe you should talk to him about it..."

"I have the feeling that would be rather awkward."

"Well, would you rather he think you're a prude?"

"I kind of am," I say giggling.

"Well, I doubt you will be for long." She says with a longing look upon her face, "I wouldn't be."

"Gross! Stop it!" I say smacking her arm across the table.

The waitress comes with our order, my hot chocolate calling out to me.

As the mug is set before me, I go to reach for it longingly...until my phone buzzes loudly upon the top of the table.

I sigh loudly, picking up my phone. But when I look at the screen, I feel butterflies form in the pit of my stomach.

Niall: Tonight? Dinner at my place?

"Why are you nodding?" Janice says taking a sip of her juice.

I look at her, "Am I nodding?"

"Yeah..." She says with a furrowed brow. I show her the message and she laughs loudly, "Yeah, I'd be nodding too."

"I'm guessing this would be the night to bring this conversation up?"

"This would be the night."

Oh dear, what a night this would be.

–❈–

I shift nervously in the seat of Niall's car. The leather stuck to my legs, my palms sweating wildly. Was I overthinking this too much? He hadn't made any type of insinuation that we would...do that. So why was I worrying so much?

"What's wrong, Ems?"

"Nothing," I mutter. My body felt too warm, I could feel heat exuding from my pores.

"Doesn't look like nothing." He stops at the light and turns to look at me. He places a hand upon my forehead, "You're burning up."

"It's quite warm in here," I say quietly.

He rolls down the windows, allowing the evening air to cool my face. I relished the breeze that smelled of summer and kissed my warm skin. The stars were shinning, and in the darkness of the night, everything seemed so mysteriously beautiful.

"That perked you right up." He says with a smirk.

"It did," I say slightly sticking a hand out of the car window.

The road was empty, a Sunday night would do that to this town. It felt limitless as if we could do anything.

"Emma?"

"Do you want to stop for a bit? Enjoy the night?"

I nod.

He drives a bit further, stopping in near a meadow. He parks the car, getting out and opening my door. He pats the hood of his SUV and has me climb upon it so that we could see the starry sky.

Niall wraps an arm around me, his skin warm and inviting. As I look up at the sky, I silently wish on a star.

Hoping that every moment could be as simple and spontaneous as this.

The rest, the rest could work itself out later.

–❈–

After a dinner of Chinese take-out, Niall pops in a movie. He leads me to the couch, wrapping his arms around me as soon as we sit down.

Although it seemed as if he were paying attention to the film, my mind wandered aimlessly. His body was so close to mine, I could feel his warmth intertwining with my own.

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you not enjoying the movie?"

"Oh, of course, I am," I say, feigning interest in the television in front of us.

"You have something on your mind, princess?"

"Not particularly."

He unwraps himself from me, and I turn slightly so I could face him.

"Niall?"

"Yes?"

"I...do you...Ummm..." Fuck. How do I say this without sounding like a bloody idiot?

"What, princess?"

"I just..." I sigh loudly. "Never mind. When the time comes I'll ask you."

"Alright then." He says with a smirk, obviously accustomed to my nervous outbursts. He re-wraps his arms around me and somehow manages to tilt my face towards his, planting a kiss upon my cheek. "You're adorable."

I turn to face him, "Am not."

"You bloody are. Fuck, Ems. You're the cutest thing." He says planting kisses all over my face. I laugh wildly and end up falling back against the armrest of the couch, Niall laying on top of me.

I look up at him wide-eyed, his eyes locking onto mine. He slowly lowers his face, grazing his lips ever so slightly upon my own. He kissed me slowly at first, kisses becoming more demanding as time passed. I found myself pressing his body to mine, his hands ran up and down my sides until they made their way to the edge of my shirt. He opens his eyes slightly, pulling back from our kiss.

"I...I think we should stop now." He says with a frustrated sigh. He sits back up and looks at me with a weary smile.

I feel myself becoming frustrated as well, but at the same time, a bit relieved. He hadn't pushed it any further.

"Let's take you home, yeah?"

"Yeah." I nod, kissing him one last time. He groans quietly as I press myself against him, my body yearning to be closer to his.

"Careful Ems." He says taking me by surprise, and pinning me back against the armrest, "I may not be able to control myself much longer."


	20. Chapter 20

Slowly the summer was starting to truly take form. Never had I spent a summer out and about. Usually, summers were spent in the air-conditioned rooms Janice and I had deemed worthy of our presence, never truly seeing the outside world as appealing. But this summer, I couldn't quite find the time to entrap myself in the tiny world we had once found was a part of us. My world was expanding, slowly it was starting to make me feel as if things were changing for the better.

"What are you up to today?" Dad says taking a sip from his cuppa tea. The sunlight was burning bright today, casting light upon his curls and making shimmer.

"Oh, not quite sure. Waiting for something to along." I say looking at my phone. Niall had told me he would text later on, it was only nine in the morning anyways.

"Why don't you spend the day with your dad?"

I eye him suspiciously, "Mum gave you chores didn't she."

He smirks, "So bloody clever."

"I didn't get it from you," I say with a smile.

He smiles sadly, "Leigh was the clever one."

"Was she really?"

"Well, she loved me didn't she?"

"That isn't helping your case, dad."

He laughs, "Your mother was one of the smartest women I have ever met. Leigh was the top of our year, and she always scored higher than me on every bloody test."

"Yeah?"

He nods, "There was one time she got sent to the headmistress's office because she had corrected a professor in class. Not in a nice way either, might I add."

I laugh, "That sounds like something she would do."

"Yeah."

I look at him and notice something had slightly changed, "You still miss her, don't you?"

"Every day, baby."

"I'm sorry, dad."

"It's a natural thing, Ems, I bet you think about her all the time too."

I nod, it wasn't as frequent as when I was little, but I still thought about what she was like and how much of me came from her.

"Yeah, I do."

My phone buzzes, and dad smiles, "Seems like you've got plans today."

Niall: Ready to go?

"Yeah, seems like it."

"I'm happy for you, baby."

"Why?"

He sighs, "It's nice to see you...having a life. Having fun. You just..."

"I just?"

"You seem so different lately." He smiles.

"Really?"

"Yes. And I have to say, I'm happy you're happy, Ems. I hope you always will be." He leans across the table and leaves a kiss upon my forehead. "As for me, I'll be stuck cleaning out the bloody closet. Send my regards to Janice."

My stomach turns guiltily, and I reply, "Will do." As guilty as I may feel, I'd have to suck it up.

–❈–

"What are we doing today, Niall?" I ask as I lay back comfortably in the passenger seat of his car.

He smiles at me as he continues driving, his hands on the wheel. I look out the window, watching fields pass by. The sun shines brightly still, and the day was warm and very summer-like.

Moments pass, and still Niall does not answer my question. I huff loudly and ask, "Do you mind answering my question?"

"Well...I was thinking maybe something different for today."

"Different in what way?"

"Maybe...a road trip?"

I furrow my brow, "Road trip? Do we have a destination?"

He shakes his head, "As far as we can go until nighttime."

"I told dad I'd be back tonight."

Niall chuckles, "Call him and tell him you're staying at Janice's."

"Are you encouraging me to lie now?"

"How else can I keep you with me all night?" He says, an obvious smirk upon his face.

"You're such a bad influence," I say pulling out my phone. As I go to dial the number, I stop and look back at him, "Wait. All night? Where exactly will we be sleeping?"

"I'm sure there are many lodges or inns around."

Was he serious? "So we'll be sleeping wherever we stop, basically."

"Is there a problem, princess?"

I gulp loudly, "No."

"Then, what are you waiting for?"

I dial the number, my fingers nervously shaking. It rings, and I almost wish dad's voice hadn't answered, "Hi, baby. You having fun?"

"Yeah. Tons."

"What are you girls up to?"

"Road trip."

"Fun!" He says excitedly. "Where to?"

I smirk, "Wherever the road takes us."

"Ah, I suppose you'll be gone the night."

"You suppose correctly."

"Well, I'll tell mum then. Have a great time, Ems. Take pictures, and don't drive if you girls are tired."

"Okay, dad."

"Check-in later."

"Will do."

"Love you."

"You too, dad."

I hang up the phone and could feel Niall's stare at me. I looked at him from the corner of my eye, and sure enough, I was right.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Nothing, just happy." He replies, his eyes now only looking at the road ahead.

"Why is that?"

He stays quiet for a few seconds, and I could hear it again, my heart beating wildly against my chest.

"Because this is only the start of many adventures."

–❈–

About five hours later, in the city of Manchester, we finally decide to stop for the night. We had driven slowly, stopping every few hours somewhere that had caught our interest. At a little shop Niall insisted we stop in to buy some sweets, we notice the sky darkening in a very threatening manner.

"Looks like rain." He said in a lighthearted tone, paying for our treats and ushering me towards the door. "We should hurry along, then."

He drove a bit faster now, having noticed that it was nearly six in the evening and that a storm was looming.

"Don't drive too fast." I chide, "It'll be dangerous if it starts raining."

"I know." He says, but he doesn't reduce his speed.

The sun completely disappears by now, leaving only the ominous clouds lurking above us, and an eerily empty road ahead.

"Are we almost near an inn?" I ask.

Rain starts pattering slowly onto the windshield, steadily becoming more powerful.

"Yeah, I think so."

"We're, like, near a forest, Niall. I don't think we're even near the town yet."

"We're almost there, princess."

I watch as the rain becomes more furious, pattering violently against the glass. It was going to rain very bloody hard tonight.

I look out the window, and could see lights up ahead, "I think we're almost there."

He turns on the wipers and nods, "Seems like it."

As we approach the town, the rain only falls upon us harder. We try to make out where the inn is, but it was nearly impossible due to the lack of visibility.

"I think that's it," Niall says squinting through the windshield.

"Thank goodness," I mutter.

As we approach the homey inn, Niall parks the car near the entrance and turns to look at me, "I'll check to see if they have a room, okay? Wait here."

Did he just say a room? As in, we would sleep in the same room...in the same bed?

"Yeah."

I watch as he runs across the small distance, his back already splattered with rain.

I breathe in and out, trying to calm myself down. Would this be the night? Already? Is this why he wanted to go on a road trip?

No, Niall isn't that type of person...

He runs back out, quicker than I had expected, and jumps quickly back into the car, "They have a room. Looks like we're staying." He says slicking back his wet hair.

"Oh, okay."

"Come one, princess, it'll be fun." He says parking the car in the correct place.

I nod, "Yeah. I'm sure it will be."

–❈–

"So, this is it?" I say looking at the two-person bed in the rather intimate room.

"Cozy isn't it," Niall says admiring the feel that the room exuded. From the beautiful comforter to the wine-colored drapes, it felt as if we were intruding in someone's home.

I nervously stare at Niall as he walks around the room in his soaked clothes. His shirt had gotten the worst of it, sticking to his body and revealing every crevice. I could feel the low moan growing in my throat at the sight of him.

"Enjoying the view?" He says noticing my stare.

I clear my throat, "Aren't you cold? You're going to get sick."

He starts peeling off his shirt.

"What are you doing!?"

"You said I was going to get sick, can't have that now can we, princess?" He says smugly.

I avoid looking at him and sigh loudly, "At least wear a towel or something."

"Am I that hideous that you don't want to look at me?"

"It's not that."

"Then what?"

"Nothing."

"Ems, come on now." He says coming closer to me. I turn and walk to the other side of the room. "Are you going to run from me now?"

I could hear the challenge in his voice and smirked to myself, "Until you cover yourself."

"What do you want me to wrap myself in the bloody blankets?"

"There's an idea."

He turns from me and goes onto the bed, wrapping one of the warm blankets around himself, covering his entire body.

"Will this do?"

I look at him directly in the eyes now, laughing loudly. Only his face could be seen, the rest of his body covered.

"Yes, that will do." I manage to say between giggles.

He pats the bed, urging me to come to join him.

I slip off my shoes, my jumper, and finally, undo my hair before hopping onto the plush bed. As I come a bit closer to him, he unwraps himself from the blanket and pounces on me. He wraps me tightly in his warm embrace. I could feel my heart rate increasingly dangerous as I realized I was touching his warm, bare skin.

"We had an agreement," I mutter, restraining myself from tracing his collarbone with my lips.

"Agreements were made to be broken," he says further constricting me by wrapping his legs around the bottom half of my body.

As I tilt my head to look at him directly and respond to something seemingly witty, he shifts slightly and instead grazes his lips upon mine.

I respond though, by throwing myself at Niall. Naturally. I unwrap myself from his embrace and tackle him onto his back, kissing him almost frantically. Niall laughs against my mouth and kisses me back. The kiss eventually slows down, becoming a mix of the soft sweeps of our lips and tongues and us laughing quietly with each other.

We do this for hours, and when we finally turn to see what time it is, it's the early hours of the morning. We had spent the entire night whispering and kissing until both of our lips were bruised and puffy. It's only after seeing how red my lips were that Niall decides that it's time to sleep.

By now I should be used to his kisses and his touch. At least, not as struck by them as I was the first time or the second. But still, as his lips met mine I felt the same rush, the same electricity, as that first night.

As I turn to look at Niall, I see that he's slowly falling asleep. I curl myself against him, my head upon his chest, and whisper, "Goodnight."

He kisses my forehead, leaning back onto his pillow with a wide, satisfied smile upon his face, "Goodnight, princess."


	21. Chapter 21

When I finally awaken it's about noon. I sigh loudly, knowing that we would have to leave soon to make it back home before it was sundown.

I turn to look at Niall, still snoring peacefully and basking in the warmth of the sun that managed to creep in through the blinds. I smiled and couldn't resist kissing his cheek, carefully, so that I wouldn't wake him.

I get up quietly to use the loo and at least try to look as if I had slept more than five hours. After running my fingers through my hair and slipping my jumper back on, I decide it's the best I can do and slip back into the room. I notice that Niall was finally waking up and jump up on the bed before he actually realizes that I was gone.

"Good morning, princess." He says placing a hand upon my cheek. I smile as he brings me closer to him, embracing me once more.

I scrunch my nose and jokingly say, "Morning breath."

He smirks at me and gets up in a single motion, heading towards the loo.

As I lay back onto the bed, waiting for Niall to come back, I pull my phone off the nightstand. I hadn't checked it since last night, and quite frankly mum and dad might be a bit worried.

I turn it on, expecting perhaps a voice mail or a text, but instead am faced with no new messages, no missed calls, and no voice mails.

"Weird," I mutter as I look at the screen.

"What's that?" Niall says closing the door to the loo and walking over to me.

I shake my head, "Nothing. Are we heading out?"

He checks the time on his Rolex, nodding, "Yeah, we should be checking out." He grabs his now dry shirt off the windowsill and puts it on very, incredibly slowly.

"Did anyone call you?" I ask looking away.

He finishes putting on his shirt and immediately pulls out his phone from his back pocket, "No. Nothing."

"Oh, okay. Well, let me call dad then."

"Alright, I'll go check out and come back up when everything's all set." He kisses me on the cheek.

As he leaves the room I dial dad. The phone rings and is answered almost immediately, "Hi, baby!"

"Hi dad," I say with a smile, I couldn't help it.

"How's it going?"

"Oh, well we stopped for the night. Quite a storm there was."

"Where did you stop?"

"Wolverhampton."

"That's far!"

"We stopped at a little inn."

'The cutesy one by the edge of town?"

I furrow my brow, "How did you know?"

"Your Aunt Sophia's sister owns it."

"Really? I've never met her." I say with a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I try to keep my voice calm, although it was getting more difficult by the second.

"Oh, well tell her I say hello! It's been quite a long time. Haven't seen her since Connor was born."

"Okay, if I recognize her I'll do that."

"When will you be home?" I could hear the banging of pots and pans in the background and knew immediately that he was in charge of making lunch today.

"In the late afternoon, and don't make mac and cheese again Ollie really hates it."

He sighs loudly before chuckling, "You know me too well. I'll see you later, Ems."

"Bye, dad."

"Oh and Ems?"

"Yeah?"

"Text your mum, she wanted to check in with you."

"Okay. Will do."

"Love you."

"You too, dad."

I hang up the phone and immediately my mind starts racing, Auntie Sophia's sister? Would she possibly recognize me? I didn't even remember her to be honest. But would she even be working here? Would Niall have recognized her? Dad would have known by now, wouldn't he?

"All set." Niall says coming back into the room and smiling widely, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I reply, trying not to let my voice shake. I was becoming undone at the thought of being discovered in one of the most massive lies I could ever tell.

"Let's get to it then."

–❈–

By the time we were out on the open road once more, the rays of sun upon my face, and the warm summer breeze coming in through the windows, I realized that perhaps I had over reacted. Niall told me that the girl working the counter was around twenty, and couldn't possibly have been Auntie Sophia's sister. And beside that, he had never met her. She couldn't possibly have recognized us in the first place.

So now, as we drove through the relatively empty roads once more, I found myself at peace.

"Oh," I mutter pulling out my phone.

"What's up, Ems?"

The warm breeze pushes my hair back, making it dramatically sway. Niall smiles as he looks at me with an admiring look.

"Nothing, I just remembered dad told me to text mum."

"Did you have fun?" He says looking straight ahead.

"Of course I had fun," I say as I type.

Hi mum, everything's great. Janice says hi.

I give the text a once over before sending it, and turn to look at Niall, "Too bad it was only one night."

"Oh, you wish it had been longer?" He replies with a growing smirk.

"Any longer and I would have had bruises on my lips," I say playfully.

"Not that you would mind."

I feel my phone buzz and look down at mum's response. Instead of a message, she simply attached a file. Then another file appears as my phone buzzes once more.

Curiously I open the file and am faced with a picture of myself holding Niall's hand in the lobby of the inn. My heart stops. I shakily open the next file, and it's a picture of us going into the room last night. I look at the picture, studying it. It was obviously me, that was the jumper dad have given me before uni started last year. There was no way out of it. There was no possible way I could deny it.

I flip back to the first picture, and although it is only the back of our heads, you can tell it's us. I feel my chest tighten and I let out an audible sob.

The phone vibrates once more in my hand and as I open the text I hold my breath.

Mum: I already gave my regards to Janice this morning, give mine to Niall though.

We were fucked. We were utterly and completely fucked.

I throw the phone in the cup holder, not sure what else to do. I could feel my body shutting down, knowing that the worst was about to come.

"Fuck." I say loudly, tears forming in my eyes. I try to breathe, but already I feel my chest becoming constricted. I breathe in deeply, but can't seem to get my lungs to work.

"Emma?" Niall says in a panic, "What's wrong."

"I..." I try to breathe in, I try to breathe out, but the normalcy of the function seemed to erase itself from my mind making it foreign to my body. I couldn't figure out how to breathe. And as seconds passed I felt my throat close and my eyes water.

I feel the car roughly pull over on the side of the road and Niall jump out of his seat and go around the car to my side. He opens the door, unbuckling me in an instant.

"Breathe princess, in and out." He places his hand on my back, trying to make soothing circles as I attempt to let air in and out. I heave loudly, a sob caught in my throat. "Emma, breathe. Breathe, love."

Slowly, after what seems like an eternity, I begin to breathe in what seems like a normal fashion. Only then does Niall ask, "Emma, what's wrong?"

I grab my phone wordless out of the cup holder, open the file and show it to Niall.

He groans loudly, punching the side of the car, "Fuck, fucking shit!" He yells.

I shake nervously, curling up in the passenger seat.

"Niall?"

"Yeah?" He doesn't look at me, his back is turned to the meadow where we had happened to pull over. He rests his hands on his hands, trying to calm himself down.

"What are we going to do?"

He stays quiet, only sighing loudly.

"I have no fucking idea princess."


	22. Chapter 22

My breathing steadily slows as Niall protectively wraps an arm around my shoulders. At this point, we've lost any interest in ever going back home. But we have to. There is no question about it, we have to face this.

I lean against Niall's chest, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He stands, slightly bending into the car, allowing me to hold him. I breathe in his familiar scent and try so hard to remain calm. But as he kisses the top of my head, I feel a sob escape my throat.

"Princess, don't cry." Niall pleads. "Everything will work out."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't." I look up at him, about to argue, when he places his index finger upon my lips "But I know that I'm not going to fucking give up already."

I breathe out nervously, removing his finger from my mouth "Niall?"

"Yeah?"

"Why were we so fucking stupid?" I wipe at my face, trying to rid it of tears.

He breathes out, "Ems, how were we going to know? You know that most of the family lives in bloody London. I didn't even know Sophia had a fucking sister."

"Yeah." I mutter, "You miss a lot when you're gone for eight years."

He unwraps me from his embrace and looks at me seriously, "We have to stick together Ems, if we're already going to start fighting with each other, then there's no use in trying to fix this."

"Niall." I say rather pathetically, "I don't want to fight. I'm just saying, we were so fucking stupid. How could we think we could away with this?" I lean against the dashboard, and immediately feel his hand upon my back once more.

"Emma, I'm telling you that it's done. There's nothing we can possibly do about it now, but face it. Alright, princess?"

"Yeah," I say sitting up.

"Now, do you think she's told, Harry?"

I shake my head, "No, I don't think she has. Dad would've come after us already."

Niall's face pales at the thought, "You're right."

I sigh loudly, "I think we should get going."

He nods, "Are you alright?"

"No. But we still have a ways to go, I should calm down by then."

He kisses my cheek, closing my door and coming back around. As he sits in the driver's seat once more he leans over and takes my hand, "We will be alright."

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

"You don't know that we will be."

He smirks, "But I sure as hell will try to make sure we are."

–❈–

Niall drives slowly, knowing that the time we had was fleeting. Things were going to change.

I was starting to truly detest the very word, whenever a change was looming it always meant the worst.

"Do you want to stop for lunch?" He says as we pass through another town.

"Are we pretty close?"

He nods, "Maybe an hour away. You want to stop for something quick?"

I shake my head, having learned my lesson, "After today, I think it's best we're not seeing anywhere we typically wouldn't be seen."

"As in?"

"As in, we usually go to the zoo, aquarium, Nando's, etcetera. So I think it best if...maybe we're only seen at those places."

He sighs, "I guess you're right."

"And more importantly, we should make sure that we're only seen when dad knows we're together. Because if he sees me with you when I'm supposed to be with Janice then he will most certainly think that something is off."

"This is fucking ridiculous," Niall says in a harsh tone.

"Which part?" I say pointedly.

"Emma, I know that...I know that this isn't right. But is sneaking around really the only way?"

"Niall, what are you trying to say?"

"They're going to find out sooner or later!"

"Are you bloody mad!?"

"I'm fucking practical Emma! Why not just tell them!?"

"Oh, okay." I huff, and then begin in a faux Irish accent, "Harry, mate. I'm going to have a go at your daughter, she's fit as hell ain't she? Don't worry though, mate. We can still be friends! I'll make sure to take her out on the town, have a good snog, and then bring you FUCKING DINNER AFTERWARDS!"

Niall slowly starts to stop the car, stopping at the side of the road once more.

"You don't have to be such a bitch!" He replies turning to face me.

"Excuse me?!"

"Why don't you get it!? We don't have much choice here Emma!"

"I just..." I start pathetically, unable to continue. My voice chokes, my throat closes. I was a bloody mess.

"I know, Ems." He says reaching over and grabbing my hand. "I know it's fucking hard and it's not fucking fair okay. But we have to face it. We have to be able to face it, okay?"

"Yeah. I just...I'm not quite sure I'm ready yet." I say intertwining my fingers in his.

"Well, I don't think we have much of a fucking choice." He says with a snort.

"No, we don't."

He leans over, whispering in my ear, "I'll hold your hand the entire time if that makes you feel better."

"I think I'll take you up on that offer," I say looking down at our intertwined hands. "Oh!" I say realizing what he had said mere moments before, "Call me a bitch once more, and I swear to you I will end you."

He chuckles loudly, "That's the Emma I like to see."

"I'm bloody serious," I reply with a very serious face. He simply starts the car and starts driving once more. "I am."

"I know, princess. I know you are."

I ignore his condescending tone and instead try to relax at least a little bit. I lean back against the seat, closing my eyes. Trying to regain some sort of calm.

"I love you, Emma."

My eyes open immediately, and I smile to myself, "I love you too, Niall."

–❈–

"I'm not getting out of the bloody car."

"Emma, we agreed we had to do this."

I sit firmly in the passenger seat and shake my head, "Can't do it."

"Emma, come on now."

I sigh, knowing that I couldn't put it off any longer, "What do you think dad'll say when he sees you came home with me?"

"I don't think he's home, Ems."

I furrow my brow and look towards the gate. Dad's car was not parked in its usual spot and the lights in the house were dimmed.

"Should we go in then?"

Niall nods, honking at the gate. It opens instantaneously, allowing us inside. I hear the iron clash together, making an obnoxiously loud sound that makes me jump slightly.

As Niall parks closer to the house, I take a deep breath and try to convince myself that things will be alright.

They have to be alright.

"Ready, Princess?" Niall says taking the key out of the ignition.

"As I'll ever be."


	23. Chapter 23

I shake as I struggle to pull my keys out from my purse. My hands trembling so badly that I could barely grasp the bloody things. Somehow though, I felt the cool metal upon my fingertips and managed to get them out of my bag. I guided them towards the door, silently bracing myself for what was about to come.

The nervousness subsided though when I felt his hand at the bottom of my spine, his warmth radiating through my jumper.

"Hello?" I say as I open the door and step in. The door creeks eerily behind us.

Funny, I don't recall the bloody door being creaky.

"Hello, Emma." I hear mum's voice coming from the hallway. I walk upon the wooden floors and peer into the kitchen, knowing that's where she wanted to meet me. "Good to see you're home." She says, grabbing her wine glass and tipping it back slightly. "Oh, hello Niall." She mutters as she sees him step slightly to my side. "How was your romantic getaway?"

"Are you drunk?" I say with a furrowed brow.

"Slightly buzzed." Mum says with a smile, "Had to do something to keep me sane."

"Oh..." I'd never seen mum like this, and quite frankly I was expecting more rage and fewer smiles.

"Sit down, both of you." She says pointing to the stools in front of her, putting her wine glass back down upon the granite countertop with a clink.

Niall hesitantly sits upon the stool and pulls mine out slightly.

"Mum we—"

"Shh." She says putting a finger up to her lips, "I got these pictures last night from Zoe. Zoe, as in your Aunt Sophia's sister? She'd always been quite fond of Niall, and quite frankly quite upset she never got the chance to meet him. Thought it was bloody hilarious he walked into her inn of all places last night with a pretty little blonde." She pulls out her phone, unlocks it, and places it between us. "Imagine my surprise when I saw who the pretty little blonde was."

"You knew since last night?"

"Indeed I did," Mum says pouring red wine delicately into her empty glass. "In fact," She says with a smirk, "I knew about eight years ago." She shakes her head, "What I didn't know though," She states tracing the glass with her delicate fingers, "Was that I had allowed this piece of shit to take advantage of my daughter from the time she was eleven." She looks up at Niall angrily, her normally clear blue eyes growing darker and piercing.

"Edie I—"

"You had no plans of ever intending to do anything like this, it wasn't supposed to happen this way, it just happened."

Niall stays quiet, not meeting her eyes.

"What did you two do last night?" She snorts, "Well, you stayed in an inn, in a single room, why am I asking such stupid questions."

"We didn't do anything, mum."

She rubs her temples, "Emma, the very fact that you two spent the night together means that something happened."

"I would never take advantage of Emma," Niall says in a rather indignant tone. "Never, Edie. You know I love her."

She nods, "I've never doubted the love you have for my daughter Niall. What I do doubt is your fucking character. In what mind do you think it's correct for you to be seeing my twenty-year-old daughter, when in fact she could be your own bloody daughter?" Her voice starts slowly rising and I begin to brace myself. "You know what, let's continue on that route, shall we? You met Emma when she was three. Three. You babysat, you wiped her tears, you fed her, you taught her how to read, how to sing, and God knows what else. So tell me, Niall, what kind of degenerate are you that you find yourself sexually attracted to a girl that you treated like a daughter up until....what maybe a month ago?"

"Mum," I say in a harsh whisper, tears filling my eyes quickly.

"Do you not have a response for me Niall? No? No witty or sarcastic retort?" She smiles bitterly, "You know, I've always thought of you as family Niall. You know that." She turns to look at me, "And Ems. In what mind do you think this is okay? How is this okay?" She shakes her head, her eyes becoming teary. "Emma, perhaps this is my fault for encouraging this little crush, but for the love of God, don't continue this. Don't do it."

My words are stuck in my throat. I try to respond, but instead, Niall does it in my place.

"This isn't fair." He says to mum, "You can't blame this on anyone."

"Really? Because you were supposed to be the bloody adult, Niall. You're the one who's supposed to teach her right from wrong, who told us you'd always protect her."

"I am always going to protect her, Edie."

"No, no you're not." She replies in tears, "You can't. You can't anymore."

"Mum."

"No. In what mind do you think I am? Do you really think I'm going to allow this to continue?"

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want to ever see Niall here again. I don't want to see him around you, I don't want to hear of him, I don't want anything to with him." She places her glass upon the counter and gets up from her stool, the metal screeching against the porcelain. She wipes off her tears and turns to look at the both of us, "Say goodbye, Emma. Niall is leaving."

"You can't do this," I whisper.

"I have to Emma." She says grabbing my hand across the countertop, "Maybe you don't understand what this means, but as your mother—"

"You are not my mother," I say pulling my hand from under hers, she attempts to grab it once more, but I pull away more violently, knocking over the bottle of wine.

The red liquid stains the countertop, streams of it flowing over and staining our clothes.

Mum simply looks at me, mouth aghast as fresh tears start to flow from her eyes, "Emma."

I push away the guilt that started to form at the pit of my stomach, things said in anger were always the ones we'd regret the most.

"I—"

But I can't seem to find the words to say. I look at my jumper, stains of red wine penetrating angrily through the cotton material.

I look as if I'd gone to war.

But the battle was only beginning.


	24. Chapter 24

"Princess."

I turn to look at Niall, as I wipe down the island. He mops the kitchen floor, and in a few motions, he's managed to rid it of its reddish tinge.

Mum had gone upstairs, feigning a headache. She hadn't even bothered to see that Niall left, quite honestly she didn't care. She didn't even have the will to argue anymore.

"I don't think you should have said that..." He says placing the mop against the door of the pantry and looking at me.

"I didn't mean it." I say pathetically.

"Princess, words hurt a lot more than we think they do."

"I know but..." I sigh loudly, there was no justification for what I had said.

I look down at my jumper and sigh loudly, it was stained immensely at the bottom by the pocket. I take it off and stand in my white tank top near the sink, soaking it in water. I grab a sponge and dot with soap and begin to scrub at the stain. I start slowly, scrubbing one certain splotch. It doesn't fade, as much as I scrub it doesn't fade at all. I continue to scrub more furiously, my fingers turning red. But still, it wouldn't come out.

"Leave it alone, princess." Niall says in an exhale.

"This is my favorite jumper." I mutter.

"Ems, just leave it for now, yeah?"

I soak it with more water and soap and leave it in the sink. Niall furrows his brow but says nothing.

"When's Harry coming home?"

I shrug, knowing it would be soon.

"Emma?"

"Hmmm." I sit down once more at the now clean island, waiting for Niall to sit across from me.

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head, "I'm not."

"Will you be?"

"I hope so," I whisper.

He grabs my hand from across the counter and smiles wearily, "It'll all turn up, princess. Just..."

He tilts his head, hearing the door opening noisily and footsteps running through the hall. He undoes his hand from mine and acts as if we had simply been having a chat.

"Emmie!" Ollie says running towards me with open arms.

I put on my best face and open my own arms to receive him, "Ollie, how has my little bugger been?" I wrap my arms around him tightly, and end up speaking into his hair.

"Hey, mate," Dad says stepping into the kitchen and patting Niall on the back.

Louis follows, smirking and shaking his head, "Heard you went on a road trip." He mutters.

"Yep." I unwrapping myself from Ollie and adjusting myself upon the stool.

"How was it, baby?" Dad comes towards me and wraps me in his warm embrace, kissing the top of my head. I sigh into his chest guiltily.

"Great, Janice got lost on the way through."

"Typical Janice," Dad replies with a wistful smile. "Where's mum?"

"Oh, she had a headache..."

He spots the empty wine bottle upon the counter and shakes his head, "Got into the wine, did she? What happened this time?"

"Oh, well..."

"Had a bit of a spat?"

I nod my head.

"Well, it's okay. When she wakes up you'll see she's forgotten all about it."

If only it were that easy.

Uncle Louis sits next to Niall and looks directly at me, "Where'd you and Janice go?"

"Wolverhampton."

"How was it?"

"Rather boring."

"What did you do?"

"Drive...basically. Isn't that what a road trip consists of?"

"Where did you stay?"

"What's with the fifth fucking degree?" I retort.

Dad turns around and looks at me pointedly, "Language, Ems." He discretely points at Ollie, who's somehow already gotten into the carton of ice cream.

"Sorry" I mutter.

Uncle Louis simply smiles at me cockily, "I was just curious." He replies with a shrug.

"Dad, is mum sleeping?" Ollie says putting the carton back in the fridge.

"Don't know bud, you want to go check on her?" Ollie nods and dad heads towards the stairs, "You all haven't eaten yet, have you? Shall we order take out?"

We all nod simultaneously and watch as dad disappears up the stairs with Ollie.

And we're left with a smug-looking Uncle Lou. He simply shakes his head at us disapprovingly, and says, "You got caught, didn't you?"

"What...how?" I say furrowing my brow.

"You don't think I got an earful from Edie last night? You two are fucking idiots, especially this twat."

He smacks Niall in the back of the head and Niall responds sharply, "What the fuck!?"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Uncle Lou says in a harsh whisper, aware that dad could come down at any moment, "You're the adult Niall! How could you be so stupid!? Did you really think you weren't going to be caught?"

"Stop it," I growl, knowing too well that it was always Uncle Lou's big mouth that got us into these ridiculous messes.

He targets his eyes on me and begins, "And you, is this really the wisest choice? How could you run off and spend an entire night with him? Never mind the fact that he's practically family, you're still a baby! You're not supposed to be going anywhere with fucking boys! Much less perverted old men!"

"Would you quit it!? Do you want to get us bloody caught by dad!?" I say in a very low voice.

Niall simply stares between us.

"You're well on your way to getting yourselves caught!" He looks at Niall, "Stop acting like a fucking horny teenager and get your shit together before I personally kick your ass."

"Hey, enough! Fucking enough! We made a fucking mistake, but I already got enough from Edie, alright mate? Tone it the fuck down."

"Tone it the fuck down..." Uncle Lou mutters angrily.

"Enough, okay. We get it. We fucked up." I say, trying to reason with Uncle Lou, "But fighting with Niall every step of the way isn't going to fix anything."

"I'm not trying to fix anything." Uncle Lou says leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms, "I'm simply here along for the ride, ready to watch everything burn."

"Pessimistic asshole," I say looking directly at Uncle Lou.

He shrugs, "You've known that since you were little, love. Don't pretend you didn't."

"So after all this, all you're going to do is watch us go down?"

"Is there really anything I can do? You two are so set on each other nothing can stop you. Fuck if I can."

"Why is that the only solution?" I say incredibly frustrated, for the umpteenth time.

Niall looks at me with a weary smile, "It isn't."

"What's another then? What world would allow us to be together?"

"There is no world that would. We just have to watch the one around us burn."

I roll my eyes and smile to myself, "Good thing we're fireproof."

I hear a gagging sound and turn to look sharply at Uncle Lou, he makes a disgusted face and states, "Yep I'm done. I draw the line at that one. This is far too much for me." He gets up from his stool and instead starts opening the drawer full of taking out menus to choose something before dad comes back down.

"Fireproof?" Niall says with a shining smile. That single word encapsulated what could be our very future. Forget I love you, forget forever. That word held much more than any I had heard before.

"Fireproof."


	25. Chapter 25

At times it felt as if nothing had changed.

Tonight dad, Uncle Lou, and Niall sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen drinking pints and talking about the days they once spent on the road. They laughed, they cursed, they acted like bloody teenagers.

And it was perfect.

But then I looked up whilst laughing at one of Uncle Louis' sarcastic remarks, innocently looking in front of me, and met eyes with Niall.

He smiles the smile that I know is reserved for me, and immediately I feel the jolt in my very being. I try to avoid it, but oh, for the life of me I just couldn't.

Moments like those, moments when I feel my whole world collide with his, and my heart starts racing, and my cheeks flush, moments like those are when I realize nothing could ever be the same.

"Emma?"

"Oh." I look at dad as he smiles, unaware of my lack of focus. "Yeah?"

"Why didn't Janice come over?"

"Too tired from driving."

"Ah, too bad."

Dad picks at his takeout container, knowing that if he didn't eat enough, the alcohol would quickly run through his veins.

"I have to get going." Uncle Lou says looking at his watch, "Gotta get home to my girls." He says with a satisfied smile.

"I should be hitting the road then too," Niall says as he gets up from his stool noisily. He places his bottle in the bin and looks at dad still picking at his food. "Bloody lightweight."

"We're not all Irish, Niall," Dad says with a smirk.

"You had two pints, Harry. You look like you had ten."

"Do not."

Niall comes up to me and wraps me in his arms, when he pulls back he points a finger in my face, "I expect you to put your father to bed when we leave. Don't want him making a mess."

"I had two pints," Dad whines from his seat.

"He had four," Niall whispers pointing at the bottles by dad's feet.

I stifle a giggle and nod, "I'll take care of everything."

He leans in close once more and whispers, "Fireproof, princess. Don't forget that."

I don't think I ever could.

I nod and smile as he steps away and says his final goodbyes, before leaving with Uncle Lou. I'm left with a bunch of empty glasses on the counter, and dad looking increasingly intoxicated with each passing second.

Dad was a funny thing, he never could take to drinks as well as my uncles and Niall. Even just a few pints had him bashful and smiley and flushed. It was quite adorable really.

"Ems?"

"Yeah?"

He signals me over to him, "Tell your old dad the truth now."

"What?"

"What did you and your mum fight?"

"It's nothing dad."

He looks at me with a smirk, "Ems, you know very well that your mum only drinks when things are very bad. You can trust me."

"Dad, we just argued is all." I reply guiltily, "It'll blow over in a few days."

He looks at me, choosing to believe me. "You're right. Your mum doesn't hold grudges, I'm sure it wasn't anything too terrible, or else I would have heard about it already."

"Yeah..."

"Do you need help cleaning up?"

"It's not much, don't worry about it."

"I'm going to bed then." He kisses the top of my head and walks towards the staircase, "Goodnight, baby."

"Night, dad."

As I finish cleaning the kitchen, I silently swear to myself that tomorrow I would make it right with mum.

Although, perhaps, not entirely right. I don't quite know how to fix the whole Niall situation, but that could wait for the moment. I think the important thing was to make sure mum knew how much I loved her, and that the comment I had made was out of pure anger and rage and that it was an utterly stupid and immature thing for me to do.

Tomorrow, I would try tomorrow.

–❈–

I did try tomorrow, the next tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that...but mum simply would not have it.

Every moment I would try to corner her, to approach her, or simply say a word to her, she would pretend as if I did not exist and would leave.

I knew that I had hurt her, but could it also be she was over-exaggerating a bit?

Dad having had enough of the silent treatment, conspired to help me get mum alone, no questions asked. So it was this afternoon that we had decided to finally put our plan into action.

"I'm going to take Ollie out, leaving you two here alone, alright? Maybe that's what you two need, some alone time."

I nod, "Maybe."

"By the time I come back, I expect to see you both hugging it out then."

"Uhuh. Well. Wish me luck." I say turning to go towards mum's room. I hear dad close the front door, and knew that with Ollie in the car already, it wouldn't be long before they were long gone.

I knock on her door, not really waiting for a response and instead simply letting her know that I was coming in.

"Mum?"

She doesn't respond, instead continues reading her novel with her glasses perched upon her nose. She's stretched out in bed, wearing joggers and a jumper.

"Mum?"

"Mum? Who are you calling mum? According to you I'm not your 'mum'." She says without even batting an eye.

I exhale loudly, "Do you have to act this way?"

"What way would that be, Ems." She says, clearly uninterested.

"Like a child."

She takes off her reading glasses, places the book onto the bed, and finally makes eye contact with me, "Do you want me to act like an adult?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to act like one too?"

"Yes."

"Then let me ask you a question?"

I could feel the nervousness build in my stomach as I uttered a weak "What?"

She sighs, "What is it about Niall that makes you think it's okay to destroy your family?"

"What?" I could feel my jaw drop a bit, not having expected mum to be saying that.

"You do realize what your little relationship with him means if your father finds out, don't you?"

Yes. "No?"

"The end, Emma. The end."


	26. Chapter 26

At times it felt as if nothing had changed.

Tonight dad, Uncle Lou, and Niall sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen drinking pints and talking about the days they once spent on the road. They laughed, they cursed, they acted like bloody teenagers.

And it was perfect.

But then I looked up whilst laughing at one of Uncle Louis' sarcastic remarks, innocently looking in front of me, and met eyes with Niall.

He smiles the smile that I know is reserved for me, and immediately I feel the jolt in my very being. I try to avoid it, but oh, for the life of me I just couldn't.

Moments like those, moments when I feel my whole world collide with his, and my heart starts racing, and my cheeks flush, moments like those are when I realize nothing could ever be the same.

"Emma?"

"Oh." I look at dad as he smiles, unaware of my lack of focus. "Yeah?"

"Why didn't Janice come over?"

"Too tired from driving."

"Ah, too bad."

Dad picks at his takeout container, knowing that if he didn't eat enough, the alcohol would quickly run through his veins.

"I have to get going." Uncle Lou says looking at his watch, "Gotta get home to my girls." He says with a satisfied smile.

"I should be hitting the road then too," Niall says as he gets up from his stool noisily. He places his bottle in the bin and looks at dad still picking at his food. "Bloody lightweight."

"We're not all Irish, Niall," Dad says with a smirk.

"You had two pints, Harry. You look like you had ten."

"Do not."

Niall comes up to me and wraps me in his arms, when he pulls back he points a finger in my face, "I expect you to put your father to bed when we leave. Don't want him making a mess."

"I had two pints," Dad whines from his seat.

"He had four," Niall whispers pointing at the bottles by dad's feet.

I stifle a giggle and nod, "I'll take care of everything."

He leans in close once more and whispers, "Fireproof, princess. Don't forget that."

I don't think I ever could.

I nod and smile as he steps away and says his final goodbyes, before leaving with Uncle Lou. I'm left with a bunch of empty glasses on the counter, and dad looking increasingly intoxicated with each passing second.

Dad was a funny thing, he never could take to drinks as well as my uncles and Niall. Even just a few pints had him bashful and smiley and flushed. It was quite adorable really.

"Ems?"

"Yeah?"

He signals me over to him, "Tell your old dad the truth now."

"What?"

"What did you and your mum fight?"

"It's nothing dad."

He looks at me with a smirk, "Ems, you know very well that your mum only drinks when things are very bad. You can trust me."

"Dad, we just argued is all." I reply guiltily, "It'll blow over in a few days."

He looks at me, choosing to believe me. "You're right. Your mum doesn't hold grudges, I'm sure it wasn't anything too terrible, or else I would have heard about it already."

"Yeah..."

"Do you need help cleaning up?"

"It's not much, don't worry about it."

"I'm going to bed then." He kisses the top of my head and walks towards the staircase, "Goodnight, baby."

"Night, dad."

As I finish cleaning the kitchen, I silently swear to myself that tomorrow I would make it right with mum.

Although, perhaps, not entirely right. I don't quite know how to fix the whole Niall situation, but that could wait for the moment. I think the important thing was to make sure mum knew how much I loved her, and that the comment I had made was out of pure anger and rage and that it was an utterly stupid and immature thing for me to do.

Tomorrow, I would try tomorrow.

–❈–

I did try tomorrow, the next tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that...but mum simply would not have it.

Every moment I would try to corner her, to approach her, or simply say a word to her, she would pretend as if I did not exist and would leave.

I knew that I had hurt her, but could it also be she was over-exaggerating a bit?

Dad having had enough of the silent treatment, conspired to help me get mum alone, no questions asked. So it was this afternoon that we had decided to finally put our plan into action.

"I'm going to take Ollie out, leaving you two here alone, alright? Maybe that's what you two need, some alone time."

I nod, "Maybe."

"By the time I come back, I expect to see you both hugging it out then."

"Uhuh. Well. Wish me luck." I say turning to go towards mum's room. I hear dad close the front door, and knew that with Ollie in the car already, it wouldn't be long before they were long gone.

I knock on her door, not really waiting for a response and instead simply letting her know that I was coming in.

"Mum?"

She doesn't respond, instead continues reading her novel with her glasses perched upon her nose. She's stretched out in bed, wearing joggers and a jumper.

"Mum?"

"Mum? Who are you calling mum? According to you I'm not your 'mum'." She says without even batting an eye.

I exhale loudly, "Do you have to act this way?"

"What way would that be, Ems." She says, clearly uninterested.

"Like a child."

She takes off her reading glasses, places the book onto the bed, and finally makes eye contact with me, "Do you want me to act like an adult?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to act like one too?"

"Yes."

"Then let me ask you a question?"

I could feel the nervousness build in my stomach as I uttered a weak "What?"

She sighs, "What is it about Niall that makes you think it's okay to destroy your family?"

"What?" I could feel my jaw drop a bit, not having expected mum to be saying that.

"You do realize what your little relationship with him means if your father finds out, don't you?"

Yes. "No?"

"The end, Emma. The end."


	27. Chapter 27

Janice, being Janice, had ultimately decided that she could no longer be in the presence of my mother. She was utterly terrified of mum after having been discovered as my accomplice.

Today, for the first time in two weeks, Janice has finally come back to the house. Mum has left for the day with Ollie and dad to Nana's, leaving the house to us. Only then did Janice agree to stepping foot once more into our home.

"You're being ridiculous." I say as I watch her lay upon my bed.

She looks at me pointedly, "I was covering you and you have the nerve to say I'm being ridiculous? You're lucky I didn't tell her anything more." She sighs, "Has anything happened?"

I shake my head, "Nothing out of the ordinary, per say."

"So...your dad hasn't found out?" I shake my head once more, and her lips immediately purse into a straight line, "I don't want to be here for when that happens."

"I hope it never does."

She furrows her brow, "But you do realize it will...right? Like, you need to have a proper conversation with your dad about this, Emma."

"Are you trying to say I should tell him?"

"Wouldn't that soften the blow?"

"In comparison to?"

Janice rolls her eyes, "I don't know, maybe in comparison to him finding out through a bloody picture like your mum? Or walking in on you two having a snog like your Uncle Lou?"

I exhale and go to lay down next to her, "I can't do it."

"You should."

"But I won't."

"So you want him to find out on his own and perhaps have a heart attack?"

I mumble, "No."

"Well, then, Emma. What are you going to do?"

Stupid Janice, always the voice of fucking reason. "I...I don't know."

She shakes her head, "Remember how you were scared of telling Niall how you felt?"

"Yeah."

"How did everything turn out?"

"Alright..."

"Emma, it turned out more than alright."

"Get to the point, Jan."

"Well, I'm not saying things will turn out great and that your dad and Niall will still be best mates after everything, but you could at least save everyone the whole lying part."

"How am I to go about telling dad? 'Dad, I'm in love with Niall...oh and he loves me too. We might elope next week, we just can't live without each other' I clasp my hands together and pretend to swoon, "How does that sound?"

Janice rolls her eyes, "I'm trying to help you know, you don't have to be such a little shit."

I laugh, "I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to say. I don't know anything to be honest." My tone drops from lighthearted to tormented by the end of the sentence, something she picked up on immediately.

Janice smiles softly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, "Is it worth it?"

"Niall?"

She nods, "Yeah."

I lean into her shoulder, taking in her flowery smell and inviting warmth. Before I speak, I know what the answer is, it's what it's always been, an unwavering yes. But doubt takes a hold of me as I imagine dad's reaction,"I hope so."

–❈–

Janice leaves before sunset, knowing that mum and dad would be home soon. We had spent the afternoon doing nothing really, but it was the type of nothing you relish. The type that stems from tranquility and peace.

It was a perfect afternoon.

As I sat at my window, watching for dad to pull into the driveway, I knew that I had to do it. I had to tell him before anyone else did. He deserved at least that.

The sun sets neatly into the horizon, and I nervously look out towards the main road. Lights appear, and I know that it's them. The gate opens, allowing dad to come in and park the car. As they make their way inside, I nervously breathe in and out willing myself not to faint.

"You can do this." I say to myself, knowing that hearing it out loud might actually do something of worth to my already knotted stomach.

I hear the front door open and all of them come in nosily. Ollie, of course already hurriedly making his way up the stairs to get to his beloved drum kit.

"Hi Emmie!" he says popping his head in for only a brief second, before disappearing.

"Typical." I mutter. "How was Nana's." I holler down the hallway, hoping he'd hear me before he started banging on those bloody things.

"Good, she got a new cat."

"Another one?" I make my way down the hall and stand in his doorway.

Ollie looks up at me, sticks in hand and ready to start, "It's cute though."

"What about grandpa?"

"Same as always...can I play now?"

"Yeah, yeah."

As soon as the first stick beats the drum, it resonates throughout the entire hallway. I quickly close his door, but it does nothing. The house needed to be bloody soundproof.

I walk to the edge of the stairs, hearing mum say something about taking a bath. She climbs the steps, smiling up at me as she notices I'm standing by the railing.

"Hello, love."

"Hi, mum."

"How was your day at home?"

"Boring. How was Nana's?"

"You know her, always happy to have your dad back home." She waves her hand and smiles widely.

I smile as well, knowing full well how excited Nana would always be when we visited, "Going to have a bath?"

"Yes. Long day."

"Okay." I say heading down the steps, "I'm just going to grab a glass of water."

Mum nods, heading up the stairs and into her room. My heart beats wildly, hearing dad humming a tune in the kitchen.

What way do I go about this?

"Hi, baby." Dad says standing at the sink, preparing to make himself a cuppa tea.

I nervously step off the last step and smile, "Hi, dad."

"How was your day?" He says preparing to put the kettle on.

"Relatively boring. Janice came around though."

"Haven't seen her in a while, tell her to come around when we're home."

"She said next time." I sit at the island, watching as he turns on the stove. The fire jumps up excitedly, dancing as it hits the reflective metal of the kettle. "Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can we talk about something?"

"About what, love?"

"I just..."

He turns to look at me, having finished fiddling with the stove, and finally sits down across from me, "What's wrong?"

"I..." A long pause make him nervous, he furrows his brow as I try to form a sentence, "I have something to say..."

"About...?"

I clear my throat, attempting to get the words out, but they don't seem to be cooperating.

"Emma, you're scaring me. You know you can talk to me about anything, baby." His hand finds its way into mine as he says with a smile, "Now tell your dad what you want to talk about."

"Niall."


	28. Chapter 28

"What do you mean, 'Niall'?" Dad says with an utterly confused look upon his face. I cringe internally, hoping that the Earth would somehow swallow me whole.

"I...I wanted to..."

"To?"

Fuck. I couldn't do this. "I just wanted to know if...um... you knew how Uncle Niall was...um...really doing."

Fuck me. I couldn't do anything right.

"Oh." He doesn't let go of my hand, but he loosens his grip a bit. "What do you mean, baby?"

"Well, I don't know...getting divorced, losing his dad, moving back...bit much has happened hasn't it?"

"Yes. But...he seems fine doesn't he?"

"I guess." I say trying to end the conversation.

"He's just...he's been through a lot, Ems. Give him some time."

"Yeah, I know."

"How has he been acting?"

"Oh, fine. I was just...wondering. You know? I know he'd never really tell me how he was feeling." And in part that was true. Every time I'd try to even mention anything of the subject, Niall would get extremely defensive.

"Well, you know...Niall and his dad were really close. It's just been a really rough time for him."

"What about his wife?"

"It just didn't work out, I guess."

"But they were only married for what? Four years? That's not a long time..."

Dad furrows his brow, "Why does that matter?"

"I was just...wondering..."

"Emma?"

"Yeah?" I'm digging a hole for myself with this question, I can feel it. I should have never brought it up.

"You remember when Uncle Niall got married?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you come to the wedding with us?"

"I was sick."

"Baby, we all knew you weren't sick."

I recall that day, all those years ago. I hadn't been sick, I had feigned it. But I couldn't muster the strength to watch Niall marry a stranger. I just couldn't. Instead, I stayed at home and counted away the hours.

"I was too." I try to protest.

"Ems, baby, I know you weren't sick. We all knew you weren't sick. You just...you didn't want to see him get married did you?"

"Dad..." I say turning away slightly, feeling my face flush.

"It's...It's okay Emma. You can tell me the truth."

His grasp tightens around my hand and I look down at it, willing myself not to say anything that would implicate me, "I just...you know I really liked Niall then. I couldn't..."

"You didn't want to see him leave forever?"

"No. I didn't."

My mind immediately goes back to phone call I made to Niall on his wedding day, his voice urgently telling me "I love you Emma, I promise you, one day I'll make it up to you. One day I'll be back for you. But you know I'm here for you, love. I always will be."

He had broken my heart that day, I didn't think anyone but Uncle Louis had really known.

"He came back." Dad says with a slight smile.

"Yeah, he did."

"You know he came back for you, Ems."

My face flushes even more so, "Why would you say that?"

"Baby, he told me so. He said he had made a promise to a little girl that he'd be back for her. Isn't that you, love?"

"I guess."

Dad exhales, never once letting go of my hand. I look at his large hand upon mine and study the airplane, my favorite of all his tattoos. And as my sight moves upwards near his wrist, I spot my name and Ollie's in Hebrew.

"Do you still fancy your Uncle Niall, Emma?" Dad's tone of voice shifts, and immediately it's filled with nervous anxiety.

"I just...I don't...but..." I look down at the table, unable to find the words to say.

"Do you love him?" Dad mutters, avoiding eye contact.

"I...I do."

"Are you in love with him?"

"N...No."

"Emma, are you sure?"

I nod. Knowing that this would be the end of it for now, and regretting so deeply that I was unable to tell him. I should tell him, shouldn't I? Didn't dad deserve to know?

"You can tell me things, Ems. You know you can." He says with a sad smile, not quite believing me, but not quite willing to admit it to himself.

"I know I can, dad. I know." It was a matter of finding the courage to do so.

"Alright then, enough of this." Dad gives my hand a pat before letting go and getting off his stool. "Let's make a snack yeah? I'm feeling a bit hungry."

"What are you in the mood for?"

"How about some pancakes?"

I smile, "It's been forever since you made pancakes."

"Well, I do need my lovely assistant."

"Does the assistant get to choose what pancakes you make?"

"Indeed she does."

I hop off my stool and head off into the pantry, pulling a bag of chocolate chips off the top shelf, "Chocolate chip pancakes it is!"

"Somehow I knew it would be chocolate chip." Dad says with a smirk, "But, since my lovely assistant gets to choose, then I guess I can't complain." He kisses the top of my forehead, before taking the bag from my hands.

"I think we need two bags."

He chuckles loudly, "Don't push it, Ems."

–❈–

I wish that I could magically fix this. I wish that somehow, dad wasn't going to think this was his fault for not protecting me. I get the feeling that he's deluding himself into believing me. He wants so badly to believe that I am not in love with Niall, that what I tell him is true, that I'm still the little girl I once was. I wish I could still be.

I don't want to break his heart.

"Baby? The pancakes are going to burn, what kind of assistant are you?"

I look up frantically at the griddle and get the spatula. Dad simply takes the spatula from my hands and flips them like a pro.

"Sorry."

"Used to it." He jokes. "Edie! Ollie! We've made pancakes! I suggest you get down here before they're all gone!"

I hear Ollie excitedly make his way down the stairs, and know that mum would be down shortly after. As I get the plates out of the cabinet, Ollie runs up behind me to look at the stack we've made.

"Chocolate chip?!"

"Yes, bud." I say lifting the plate and bring it to the table.

"You guys are the best." He says wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Oh, what do we have here?" Mum says approaching the table. She smiles widely, "Just like the old days."

"Not quite." Dad says with a smile, "Much better."

–❈–

We stayed up late, not quite realizing how late until Ollie had fallen asleep next to the leftover pancakes. Dad carries him upstairs, mum following them both, leaving me in the kitchen to clean up the plates.

But left alone once more, my thoughts start to torment me. If I were to tell Niall that I wanted to tell dad, he would most likely encourage me to do so...would he not? He had already said once before that we should, what if we actually do. What if we sit down and explain it to him?

I wanted to spare him at least the pain of being lied to. At least this way...at least we would be the one's to tell him.

But the thought of dad's heart breaking because of me, I don't think I could bear it.


	29. Chapter 29

I didn't plan it this way. I didn't actually go about planning for this to happen. When and I was eleven and realized that I fancied my Uncle Niall, I never ever had even pondered the thought of him loving me back. I never thought of the repercussions of loving a man sixteen years older than me, a man who is family, who is my dad's best mate. I didn't plan on this.

But I know, I know that I made the conscious decision at fifteen, at sixteen, at seventeen, fuck at nineteen to love him. I chose to love him. I chose him regardless of age or relation to my family. I chose him knowing, accepting there was not a chance of a future with him.

But there is. There is a fucking chance, and I want to take it so badly. I want to be able to say that I love him, that I am with him. I want to have a normal relationship. I want to have the things normal couples have. I want dates and dinners and spontaneous gifts. I want family dinners and fuck, I want to be domestic and be like a housewife.

Did I just say that?

The things I want are not that hard. They are inevitable in a relationship, things that people find tedious and monotonous. They are the things that happen in every relationship.

Except for mine.

The things that are supposed to happen in a normal relationship, will not happen in this one. We are not normal. We are not fucking normal. I am in a relationship with the man that helped raise me. I am in love with the man who is part of the family, a key and vital part in our loving little home.

There is indeed that naive, childish, and hopeless part of me still thinks that things could remain the same. That Niall and I could be together and everything would be rosy and beautiful and everyone would say, "Look at that, they're perfect together."

But it's fucking bullshit.

I know it. I know it is.

But you can't blame me for hoping.

–❈–

"Okay, what's wrong?"

It's another hopelessly perfect sunny afternoon. Niall has decided that today, today we'd drive around. Not really with a destination in mind, just the usual drive and talk. But the talking part had been mostly one sided.

"What?"

"Emma, you haven't said a word since we left the house."

"I just...don't have much to say."

"You? You don't have much to say?" he replies with a great tinge of irony in his throaty Irish accent, "That's a first."

"It's just that..."

"...That?"

As we hit a red light, he turns to look at me, his eyes bright and his smile wide.

"Niall....do you think...we should...maybe..."

"Princess, please, just say it."

"Tell dad about us." It escapes my mouth so quickly and so suddenly, I wasn't sure he had heard me.

But he had.

"Tell him about this?" His voice was firm and even, as if he had been awaiting this moment.

"Yeah."

He drives, the light signaling us to go. But he doesn't say anything. He takes my words and processes them, weighing them in his mind.

"Do you want to tell him, Emma?"

"I...I don't know."

"You know....fuck." He shakes his head. "I want to say yes. I want to say "Yes, princess. Let's go tell Harry right now so we can get out of this fucking mess and stop the fucking lying once and for all. Maybe he won't hate me. I'll let him have a punch, straight in the nose if he likes. I'll let him be angry, I'll let him sulk. Then, maybe he'll forgive us, because we didn't lie to him." I want to say that Emma, but fuck I'm fucking..."

He doesn't finish. His sentence trails off and I know what he's going to say.

I'm fucking scared.

And fuck, could I blame him?

All that he came back for, his family, his friends, his mates. They were interwoven into this meticulous relationship were if one delicate string were to snap, the entirety of the web would fall. It would be destroyed. All because of me.

"We don't have to. You, you don't have to. I could tell him."

Niall scoffs, "What kind of man do you think I am? Do you really think I'm not going to face up to what I've done?"

"What you've done?" My voice sounds incredulous. It is because, of all the ways to phrase it, he had chosen the one that had made this seem like some kind of crime. Some kind of thing he had to say sorry for. The kind of thing you feel guilty about when you lie awake at four in the morning.

"Emma, don't start. You know what I meant."

"I"m sorry."

Because he's right. Perhaps he doesn't mean it in the way I took it, but the way I took it was right. This is the kind of thing you feel guilty about. This is like a crime.

"Do you really want to tell him?"

"Can we wait?"

He pauses, eyes focused on the road, "The longer wait the more likely he'll find out from someone else, princess."

"Please, just maybe a few more days." I try to reason, trying to grasp at the hours I had left with him, "I just..."

"Sunday?"

Sunday...In three days? Would I be ready by then?

"I...guess...so. Wait, during family dinner?"

"After."

"Can we invite Uncle Lou?" I needed a buffer, someone that could intervene in case things got out of hand.

Niall sighs loudly, "Yeah, I guess so."

Silence, so much silence today. Not a comforting one, but one full of waiting, of anxious anticipation. There was now the hour of reckoning hanging above our heads.

"Niall?" I break the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." I say it a whisper, almost afraid of him hearing it.

He stops the car on the side of the road, flipping on the blinkers. He turns to look at me, grabbing my hand in his, "Don't ever tell me you're sorry. You have no reason to be. People say sorry when they're wrong."

"I'm not wrong...for this?"

"No. We're not wrong for this."

I pause, thinking that he was right. That we shouldn't be sorry. That I shouldn't be sorry. That love was uncontrollable.

"Promise me you'll never change your mind about that." I try to say in a firm voice. "Promise me you'll never be sorry, and I promise you I won't be either."

And of course, just like that, my naive, childish, and hopeless self believed him. I wanted to believe him. I needed to.

"I promise." He says with a slight smile, leaning over the dash and kissing my forehead. "Fireproof, Emma. I thought you knew the meaning." He says cheekily, turning the key in the ignition and heading back onto the road. 

I had to believe that Niall was worth it. That we were worth it. That we would always be.

Or else...what would this all be for?


	30. Chapter 30

So we had decided. We had decided, and I knew that Niall wouldn't turn back now. We were going to tell dad. Dad was going to know.

As much as I tried to mentally prepare myself, I just couldn't. But I knew it had to be done.

I lay back on Niall's couch, the plush pillows propped neatly behind me as my legs rest in his lap. My mind races as his fingers drum lightly on the side of my bare leg. He's on the phone with Uncle Louis, has been for the past half hour.

They don't sound angry, and it doesn't sound like an argument. They were only exchanging pleasantries. But when Niall asked him, "Would you mind coming over to Harry's for Sunday dinner, mate?" I could practically feel the awkwardness of the silence over the phone.

"So yeah? Yeah. At four. Great, mate. Yeah, ace."

He hangs up, placing his cell on the end table next to him and turning to look at me. I lift my head slightly, "What did he say?"

"He said yes. Fucking suspicious he was, but glad to have an excuse to leave the house since El and Ellie left for a weekend at the in-law's"

"So he said yes?" I ask once more.

He smiles wearily "Princess, you need to relax."

I breathe out loudly, "I think it's a bit much too complicated to say I need to relax."

He lifts his brow at me and says with a smirk, "We have approximately..." He stops to look at his shiny Rolex and looks back up at me, "twenty-four hours of freedom. Are we going to waste it fretting?"

"You sure like to calculate time." I mutter.

"Are we going to waste our day away?" He says nudging my legs off his, getting up and pulling me up to face him, "Let's do something fun, eh?"

"Like what?"

"Do you want to go out?"

"The zoo?" I smirk.

"No" He ignores my pointed sarcasm, "maybe..."

"Maybe?"

"The cinema? There's a great movie that's come out."

"I guess...well...it is dark in there."

"Did you tell your dad you were with me?"

"Yeah, that we were going out."

"Okay, then we can go to the cinema, no misunderstandings if anyone were to see."

"I guess."

"Maybe sneak in a kiss or two?" He says pulling me towards him. My heart races as my lips make contact with his, his tongue slipping into my mouth, my hands already clinging to him desperately.

As he pulls away I mutter, "We could just stay here."

"No chance." He says walking to get his keys. "Too dangerous." He winks at me and my heart stops. It stops completely.

"Why is it too dangerous?" I try, walking up to him.

He steps away with a smile, "Watch it princess, I know what you're playing at. You're playing with fire."

I lean into him, and he doesn't step away now. My hands lay firmly on his chest as I get on the tips of my toes to whisper in his ear, "Aren't I fireproof?" I kiss the side of his neck, getting a heavenly whiff of his cologne and stop myself from going any further.

Instead, I step away, grab my jean jacket off the kitchen seat and head towards the door. I turn back to look at him finally, and am pleased to see that he's leaning against the counter, flushed, and looking as if he needed to catch his breath, "Weren't we going?" I say pointedly.

He clears his throat, "Yeah...yeah."

It's funny. As nervous as he made me, as frantic as I was about...doing things you do in a relationship...I hadn't realized that maybe he was just as nervous. That I made him just as flustered.

It was beautiful, really, to think that I had the same effect on him as he had on me.

–❈–

The cinema was relatively empty for a Saturday afternoon. Perhaps it was the sunny weather, people wanted to be outside and not cooped up inside. But sitting in the cool darkness with Niall's arm wrapped around my shoulder, I couldn't think of anywhere better to be.

"Did you see that?" He whispers, tilting his head towards my ear.

'Unfair' I thought to myself. It was utterly unfair, that even in the cover of darkness, the outline of his face could have my heart beating wildly.

I nod, trying to compose myself. There were still people sitting below us, in the seats in the front. I am tempted, so tempted to lean my face in and kiss him. To jump over the arm rest and settle in his lap, kissing him for the remainder of the film.

Mad, I have gone mad.

"Wow." He mutters, obviously enthralled with the film while I am completely entertained with the idea of him. "Emma?" His face comes in closer, and oh. Oh. I...I lean in more, hoping, waiting.

Warm lips pressed against mine, a surprised semi-gasp escaping my mouth as he roughly kisses me, as if he had been waiting forever to do so. My hand tilts his face directly onto mine, I could feel him smiling as he pulled me closer to him.

Normal. This was a normal date. Yes. Normal was fucking amazing.

As awkward as the armrest was, I was still able to press myself against him. I could feel his fingers slip from my shoulders to around my waist. Hot skin penetrating my thin cotton shirt. My hand wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Kisses, passionate and deep kisses. Full and lush, soft sweeps of tongues and seductive biting of lips.

"Fuck." Niall whispers. He looks at me, biting his probably reddened lower lip.

I simply pout at the loss of contact. He smirks, the light of the movie illuminating that cocky smirk as he traces my lips slightly with his thumb.

"This is getting bad, princess." He whispers.

"How could any of this be bad?" I ask, stopping his hand and leaning in once more, my lips grazing his ever so slightly. He groans.

"Emma. It's bad. So. Very. Bad." He says breathlessly as I move to flutter kisses upon his neck and collarbone.

"Doesn't it feel good though?" I whisper in his ear, my warmth breath making him shiver.

Where was this coming from? Me? Being the flirty one? Oh, how the tables had turned.

"Yeah." He says nervously now.

"But, maybe you're right." I say, sitting back into my seat properly.

He sighs, "Fuck. You are fucking evil."

I giggle as he wraps his arm around me once more, kissing the top of my head.

This. This was perfect. Utterly perfect.

–❈–

I keep thinking about today as if it were going to be the last good day. As if today was the last day we'd spend like this.

But it can't be, right? Today can't be the last good day. We were going to have a countless amount of good days. Good days, amazing days, normal days. We still have so many more days to spend together.

Don't we?


	31. Chapter 31

"Okay, but really..." Niall asks as he drive down the familiar road to pick up some take out, "How can you still not know what the fuck you want to do in uni?"

The movie had let out, and we made the decision to get Nando's, again. As we drive down the very familiar road, we can't help but be caught up in this conversation once more.

"You didn't even go to uni." I reply.

"I didn't even finish high school." He says with a laugh.

"Oh, we can all tell."

His hand quickly darts away from the steering wheel and pokes me in the side, making me jolt from my seat.

"Wanker." I mutter as he chuckles.

He sighs though, and quickly his tone turns a tad serious, "I do wish I had though. Fucking crazy the shit we went through. Never got back to studying." He shakes his head, one large hand on the steering wheel the other on the shift.

I place my hand over his and smile, "But you lived such an amazing life."

"Lived? Are you saying my life is over now?" He asks in a faux incredulous tone.

"Well...I don't know. Do you think it is?"

He stays quiet for a second, reflecting. "A part of it is, a part that I thought would define my life. But, I think a new one is beginning." He doesn't look at me, he doesn't display any particular type of emotion, he simply nods.

"Maybe we're getting a little too deep."

Niall laughs, "We're past deep. We're drowning."

"That is quite possibly true."

We stay quiet for a few beats, the car humming as it navigated the road.

"But really Ems, what do you want to do with your life?"

The sad thing was, I really wasn't sure.

"I love to write...But, I don't know if I'm cut out to be a writer."

"If you're anything like Harry..." He doesn't finish, he doesn't have to. My father is a bloody genius, a master of words. He had not gone back to his schooling either, but he didn't have to. It was something that came from deep within him, something I had always found magical.

"I don't think so..."

"Don't say that, princess. You'll find your way."

"Yeah, but when? It's already been two bloody years since I started uni." I say, frustration already showing in my voice, "Maybe...I'm just not really cut out for anything..." It had been a thought that had been rolling around my head for a while. Sure, I was smart enough. I have always been smart, I have always been told that I am bloody brilliant. But what good does it do me if I can't even decide what I wanted to do with my life?

"Don't look at it that way, Ems. Maybe you just haven't found your passion yet."

"When did you know you found yours?"

He smiles, "When I picked up a guitar."

"A hundred years ago?"

He reaches out to poke me again, but I slap his hand away roughly.

"Am I really that old?" He asks, almost insecurely. He says it in a playful tone, but I knew that perhaps I hit a nerve. I could hear it in his voice, he was going to whine about my little jab.

"Oh, shut up." I say in an exasperated voice.

He laughs, "Okay, fine. No more talk about age."

"Or school."

"Or school." He repeats.

"But must we have Nando's again?"

"Do you have something else in mind?"

I smile, "Do you only have home cooked meals when you come over?"

He shifts a bit in his seat, "Well, yeah."

"Well, why don't I cook for you?"

"You? You know how to cook?"

"Better than you. You couldn't even make bloody pancakes." I laugh, remembering when mum and dad had gone on their honeymoon and Niall had attempted—and I use the word loosely—to make pancakes.

"Hey, we both know Harry is a pancake wizard."

"Well, I make an amazing pasta."

He smiles, "Pasta sounds fucking great."

–❈–

The thing about Niall was that he had always been my best friend. More than that really. He's my person, my fucking person. He is the sole person I need. And it's so dangerous to put all that power in the hands of one person, to let them be your everything, but he is. He has been.

It was so easy with him. So bloody easy. But at the same time, it was hard. It was a balance of the two. He always kept me on my toes, but caught me if I fell. He let me be myself, but helped me stay focused on the important things. He let me run, but was always a few steps behind.

"I'll stir the sauce." He says tying a frilly apron around my waist, brushing my hair back, and planting a kiss on my shoulder.

"I'll finish the salad then while the pot boils."

I smile to myself, watching as he happily stirs the sauce in the pan. His relatively small kitchen, cozy and perfect for the two of us.

"It smells amazing. You made this from scratch?"

"Mum's recipe."

"You could always sell pasta sauce." He says in a mockful tone.

"What?"

"If you don't know what you want to do with your life, your backup plan could be selling this pasta sauce, it's fucking amazing."

I roll my eyes, "Oh, please."

"Do you want another backup plan?"

"Do you want me to sell the pasta as well or maybe open a restaurant?"

"No." He says, turning off the stove and stepping towards me. He hugs me from behind, resting his chin upon my shoulder, his warm breath upon my neck, "Couldn't I be your backup plan?"

"What do you mean?"

"If all else fails, you could do what you've always done best."

"And what's that?"

He hugs me even tighter, "Make my life complete."

My heart flutters, and I could feel his flush against my skin, "You're so full of fucking cliches aren't you?"

"I know," He says with a chuckle, "I embarrass myself most of the time. Making an arse out of myself aren't I?"

"Isn't that what love basically is?" I say with a smirk.

"Making an arse out of yourself—"

"Because you're so in love with the person, you can't help but say—"

He turns me around mid-sentence, pressing me against the counter, leaning in towards me, "You make my life complete."

My breath catches and he smirks, "We're even finishing each other's sentences now. Look at that."

He leans in, lips pressing against warm lips, when I hear a vicious bubbling. We both turn to look at the pot of pasta boiling over onto the stove.

"Fuck." We mutter simultaneously, running to turn the pot off.

"Maybe not the restaurant or pasta idea." He says with a smirk. "Stick to the sauce."

I laugh loudly, grateful the pasta was okay, but even more so that I had him to do these silly things with.

Completely complete. He makes my life, completely complete.


	32. Chapter 32

"The plan is simple really." He says pouring us wine into crystal clear glasses as I place the plates upon his wooden table. "We just have to tell the truth, Ems. That's all."

"What if maybe, I just speak? You know, instead of you telling him."

"That would be better." He says pulling out my chair so I can sit down. "Can you do it though?"

"I owe dad that much, at least."

Niall takes a forkful of pasta and smiles widely, "God damn, you can cook."

I roll my eyes, "And you doubted me."

"I didn't doubt you."

"You just didn't think it would be this good."

"Guilty as charged."

There is a comfortable silence as we eat, both of us hungrier than we had thought.

"This isn't the last time." Niall says between bites.

"What?"

"This isn't the last time we do something like this? You know...?"

"You mean...have dinner, go to the cinema..."

"Go on a date?" He tries.

I nod, "Why do you say that?"

"Because, I have a feeling about what's going to happen tomorrow, and I just want you to know that no matter what Harry says...this isn't the last time."

"How do you know I'm not going to listen to my dad?"

He smiles, "Are you going to?"

I smile, "You caught me."

"I don't want to put you up against your dad, Emma. That's not what I'm here for."

"I know."

"But I also want you to know that I will fight for you."

"You're getting all caught up in cliches again." I say swirling the red liquid in the glass and taking a sip.

He smirks, "Can't help myself, princess."

He knows I don't mean it, the constant chiding and sarcasm. He knows I simply don't want to succumb to the cliches, although I already had in my mind.

"Let's talk about something else." He mutters, trying to turn back the conversation to something easy, and light. "How's Janice?"

"She's alright. Got a job at a shop down in the hills."

"Oh, that's great."

"Yeah."

I put down my fork, my hunger subsiding at the thought of dad and the entirety of this mess.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

He takes his few last bites, picks up his plate and picks mine up with it. He looks up at the clock on the wall and smiles as he places the plates into the sink, "How about a cuddle then?"

–❈–

When Niall had mentioned a cuddle, of course I had jumped at the thought of lying comfortably intertwined in his arms on the couch. But he hadn't led me to the couch...

"Um." I look at his bed, his room, his blue walls. I could feel my heart race. "Why..."

"Well, I figured..." He flushes, shaking his head, "Never mind, we can just go to the living room."

I stifle a chuckle, Niall was thirty six. Thirty six. He was a fucking grown man, and yet he was acting like a bloody teenager. He couldn't work up the nerve to press me to his bed, to say, "Emma, I just want you in my bed already."

"We can stay here." I say, sitting upon the freshly made bed.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

He sits next to me, awkwardly. He twiddles his thumbs, nervously moves his leg.

"What?" I turn to look at him, "Why are you being so bloody weird?"

"I just..." He shakes his head and whispers "Fuck me." In an exasperated tone.

"What!?" I pretend to be offended and his eyes widen immediately in horror.

"Oh, fuck no! Not what I meant!"

I laugh loudly, "I'm joking."

His lips purse into a straight line, "Not funny."

"I thought it was."

He turns to look at me, "Did you now?"

I saw it then, the flicker in his blue eyes. His jaw twitched slightly, and as he got up to face me, I felt my stomach leap into my chest.

He turns to look at me, "Did you now? You think I'm a joke, Emma?"

I lean back as he comes closer, pressing me down onto the bed. I smile, "You do make me laugh."

My smile fades though as he comes closer, he leans in and oh...it wasn't funny anymore.

He towers over me, his arms reaching around me, his palms resting firmly on each side of me on the mattress. "Emma? I asked you a question" He whispers, his mouth mere inches from mine.

And that's when he does it. When he finally presses me to his bed, his warm body upon me. His hands race up and down my sides, anxious to touch. He grazes the small space between my jeans and my shirt, fingertips touching bare skin. He looks at me, questioningly, wanting to explore further. I nod silently, and his hands go up the flimsy material. His skin hot as it made contact with mine.

"Emma." He whispers, his hand on my rib cage. "Can...I?"

I nod yes, because God, I've been waiting so long. I've been so nervous and such a bloody wreck about it, but I've been waiting for so long.

His hands move further up, grazing the lace upon my bra. I shudder as he traces my collarbone. His lips press against my neck, slowly working their way down.

And then he stops.

"I can't do this." He lays down next to me, sighing loudly. "Princess, I just..."

I turn on my side to look at him, "Why?" I manage to say.

"It's just that..." He groans, "I hate asking you this...but...is this...your..."

"Oh." I manage to say. It's all that I say.

"Is it your...Would I be your...first?"

"I..." I lay back, not wanting to face him. "Yeah, you would be."

He sighs, "We can't just...we can't just rush into it, okay? I don't want you to think that's why..."

"You're with me?"

"Yeah."

"I know it's not."

"But still, princess." He turns to face me, running his hands through my hair. "There's no reason to rush..." He says it hesitantly, and I know that if he wasn't the great man I knew he was, he wouldn't be saying this right now. Right now he would be...well...

"Maybe we should just head home." I say about to get up, not wanting things to get awkward between.

"I think you can spare another hour." He says wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him, "Just one more."

–❈–

Three hours later we were finally going home. It was only nine, relatively early. We picked up a carton of ice cream, thinking that mum and Ollie specifically would enjoy it.

As we pull up to the driveway, I furrow my brow, "All the lights are off..."

"Huh, you think they're watching a movie or something?"

"But dad always leaves the kitchen light on..."

Niall parks the car and we make our way to the door, I thrust my key into the lock and turn it. I quickly make my way in, ice cream carton in a plastic Tesco bag.

"Dad?"

"In here." The voice comes from the dark kitchen. Dad's voice sounds annoyed, a tad angry. I turn to look at Niall, he shrugs. We make our way into the kitchen and find dad changing a light bulb, standing upon a chair, "Bloody light bulb, I've been trying to change it for an hour."

Niall chuckles, pulling out his phone and turning on the flashlight. He points it towards dad and dad smiles sheepishly, "Thanks, mate." Dad steps down from the wooden chair and looks at us, "Had a fun day?"

"It was alright." I say with a smirk.

Niall turns on the light, "So ungrateful this one." He says looking at me.

Dad smiles, "Guess some things never change."

I look at Niall guiltily as dad turns to move the chair, but he simply dismisses me. I know, I know that I shouldn't make it so bloody obvious, but I just...

"Ems?"

"Hmm?" I say setting the ice cream upon the counter.

"What movie did you see?"

"Oh, I don't even know. Some action movie."

"What did you do after?"

"Dinner."

"That took you that long?" He says in a very dad-like tone.

"We drove around a bit."

"Mhmm." He says looking at Niall, "Well, at least you're home now."

"Lou is coming for dinner tomorrow." Niall says grabbing some bowls and ignoring dad's pointed stare.

"Oh, what's the occasion?" Dad replies pleasantly surprised.

"El and Ellie are out of town."

"Oh, well the more the merrier."

I look at them chatting, setting the plates for all of us to eat. What if this is the last time they get along like this?

Just one more time, hold it together one more time.

"I'll get mum and Ollie." I say with a very tense smile.

"Yeah." They both mumble, waving me away and continuing their conversation.

As I make my way up the stairs, I stop on the step before the last. I breathe in, a big gulp of air.

I had to hold it together one more time.


	33. Chapter 33

If I have nervous ticks, I am most certainly hyper-aware of them now. I could feel my hands shake as I tried to brush my hair in front of the mirror, my knees were nervously bouncing up against my dresser, and for some reason, I could feel my left eye pulsating at an alarmingly fast pace.

"Ems?" The brush drops from my hands at the sudden sound of mum's voice and she looks at me a bit surprised, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine. I'm fine."

"Uhuh. Well. You're Uncle Louis will be here soon..." She reaches for the brush and places it in my shaking hand. "What's wrong with you? You're shaking worse than a leaf!"

"No...Nothing."

"Emma?"

"I said nothing." I try to will myself from shaking, trying to brush my hair normally to prove to her that I was indeed fine.

She sits down upon my bed, making eye contact through my mirror. She looked tired, unusual for mum. Her blonde hair was in loose waves to her shoulders, her face cherub like even at forty. There were slight bags under her sapphire eyes, her lips a bright pink from biting on them nervously. She look beautifully exhausted, how ironic.

"How are things with...Niall?" She tries not to look disgusted when she says it, but the tone in her voice and the slight curling of her lip showed her dismay.

I focus on my hair, brushing in a deliberately slow . I could see my face flushing a violent red and know that mum is still watching me intently.

"Ems?" She says, obviously trying to get me to speak. "How are things with...him." She says in a sigh.

I know she wanted to try. She wanted to get over the fact that he was my uncle, that he was sixteen years older than me. She was trying. She was trying really fucking hard, because she loved me and she knew that I was happy. But that didn't necessarily mean that she would enjoy trying to understand the fact that someone her own age was dating her step-daughter.

"They are...good."

"...Great. He's...treating you...right?"

"Yeah."

"You haven't..." She moves her hands nervously trying to say the words without actually having to utter them in a sentence.

"No! God, No!"

"I'm just asking, Ems. You know this isn't easy for me either." She looks away for the first time, nervously looking at her chipped nail polish. "I don't know what to say."

"I've been hearing a lot of that lately..."

"Well, love. You're putting us in a bit of bind."

"Hey, if I remember correctly you said that 'maybe it's my fault since I encourage you'." I respond, making my voice a notch higher to match hers.

"Yes, I know I said that."

"And?"

"Emma. I just don't know, alright? This is just a huge bloody mess, and even though I'm the adult I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

"Why?"

"Because..." She huffs, "I know you consider me to be your mum, darling. But I'm not. Harry is your dad, I'm your step-mum. Ultimately, as frustrated as I feel, and as much as I care, your dad's not going to sit around and try to accept it the way I'm trying to. You know he's...he's going to blame me too."

"Mum, just because you're not my biological mother doesn't mean you love me any less."

"Yes...but...in these types of situations it feels like...maybe I don't have the right to tell you want to do."

"I think that's technically because I'm an adult."

She smiles, "I hope so."

"Mum, you know you're being proper mad. I don't think it matters that you're my "Step-mum"" I say making air quotations around the phrase, "You love me just as much as dad."

"I know, Ems. But..."

"Are you just scared dad's going to blame you? That he'll think you don't love me because you let me do this?"

I could see she was visibly shaken and pray that she doesn't start sobbing. I don't think I could handle it.

"Maybe...just a tad worried."

I turn from the mirror, getting up and wrapping my arms around her, "Things will work out."

"Yeah." She mutters into my hair, "I really hope so."

–❈–

"Have you both lost your bloody minds?" Uncle Louis asks as he stands mere inches from me in the pantry. I had asked him to grab a can from the top shelf since he was slightly taller, just to lure him into a place dad wouldn't hear his loud mouth.

"We have to tell him."

"Why do I have to be here!? I want no fucking part in this." He says angrily handing me the can of corn and heading towards the door.

"Wait." I place my hand upon his and immediately his face softens, "Please. I need you here. I need all the help I can get."

"Emma." He sighs, but he doesn't move. "Fucking shit."

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before...but you wouldn't have come."

"Why do I even need to be here, this is something you have to do on your own..." He mutters.

"I...I'm scared."

"I know you are, love. But you can't use me or your mum to hide behind. You have to tell him yourself. No one else involved...well just Niall."

"But..."

"I will stay, Emma. But listen, you can't just expect us to tell him for you. You want your dad to take you seriously? To really know what you feel?" I nod. "Then you have to tell him. Not in the middle of dinner, not in front of all of us. We will be here to support you love, but this is something you have to do on your own."

"I know...I know. But it's so fucking hard." I lean against a shelf, sighing loudly.

"Well, Ems, no one said it would ever be easy." He smirks as he opens the door and steps out, leaving me in the dimly lit pantry.

Of course he was fucking right, he always was.

No one said it would ever be easy.

–❈–

"No, but really." Uncle Louis says dominating the conversation at the dinner table, "There was that time that Emma got lost in a mall in...where was it...Brazil?"

"Yeah, in Sao Paulo." Niall says with a grin on his face.

"And Harry goes around the entire fucking mall, twice, looking for her. He had us, security, and Gemma looking for Ems, And still he couldn't find her."

"And then..." Niall says placing his face in his hands, trying to cover his laughs.

"We find her." Uncle Lou replies with a smirk upon his face.

"Where?" Ollie asks.

"In the food court having a proper fit." Dad says shaking his head.

"What? Why?"

I try not to laugh as I tell Ollie, "I wanted an ice cream, but since I was only six I didn't understand that each country had different money."

"So she tried paying with a quid." Niall says laughing loudly.

All of us laugh, and I can feel my cheeks flush remembering how upset I had been then. Oblivious that dad had been looking for me.

"So she didn't get the ice cream?" Ollie asks innocently.

"I did." I reply with a smile, "After dad gave me a lecture about running off."

"She was six, Harry. She was bound to do it sometime." Niall says looking at dad.

Dad shakes his head, "Yeah, but I didn't think she'd ditch us for an ice cream."

"Kids will be kids." Mum says ruffling Ollie's hair. He slaps her hand away and she laughs.

"Let me help you clean up, then." Uncle Louis says grabbing plates and stacking them.

"Thanks." Mum says collecting trays.

Uncle Louis looks at me pointedly, urging me to do it now.

"Dad?" I say in a low voice, it almost sounded like a whisper.

I clear my throat as he looks at me with a smile, "What's up, baby?"

"Can we have a chat?"

He furrows his brow, "What's wrong."

"Nothing, I just...have some things I wanted to talk about."

"Well...yeah, do you want to go to the study?"

"Yeah."

He wraps an arm around me as we head to the stairs, "What's troubling my baby girl?" He asks.

I refrain from sighing, knowing that would worry him. The problem really was...where to start...


	34. Chapter 34

Dad opens the door to his study leaving it open behind him as he steps in and turns on the lights. I hadn't been in here in a while, and I looked around noting that nothing looked any different. There were bookshelves filled with leather-bound journals, they were flowing off shelves. There was an antique globe in the corner of the room, the one I would spin relentlessly when I was trying to figure out where in the world we were going on tour. And of course his favorite, comfy leather chairs. The air smelled of cinnamon and I smiled as I saw the candle I had given him a while back still sitting upon his desk, already half used.

"Sit." He says, smilingly pointing to one of the caramel-colored chairs and sitting in the one next to mine. He shifts his seat slightly so that his green eyes can focus on solely me.

I sit down in the seat, gripping the sides slightly, "Dad..."

He furrows his brow, "Okay. What's wrong? You're scaring me."

"I...Okay. Look." I lean back into the chair, trying to gather some type of strength. "Do you remember that story you would tell me when I was little? The one about you and mum?"

"Which one?"

I sigh in frustration, mostly because he didn't know which mum I was talking about or which story, "About Edie, when I would get mad that we wouldn't be able to stay at home, that we were always touring...when I thought she would leave us."

"How we were inevitable?"

"Yes."

He smiles, "What about it?"

"Dad, do you know what I thought when you would talk about inevitability. How I learned the meaning of that word?" I feel my hands shaking, my pulse beating wildly.

"How...?"

"I...um...I would think about Niall. I always thought that...he was inevitable."

"Oh."

"It's just that..."

"You...fancied him. That's why right?"

"Yes, but...it's not just that."

He crosses his legs nervously and leans forward, "What else is it then?"

"Look." I clear my throat "I know that you've always been here for me. I know that. But Niall...it's just different with him. I don't know how to explain it to you, honestly."

"Try."

"You remember when I found out Ollie was going to be born?" He nods, "That's when I realized it."

"What do you...mean?"

"That day that mum told me? The day that she was in the hospital and you both tried to make it seem like it would be okay, and I really wanted it to be..." I say, remembering the sterile smell and how my eyes had started to water and my throat started to close "But no matter how hard I tried...I just couldn't deal with it."

"And that's why you ran out of the room?"

"Yeah." I sigh, "But I didn't get far...Niall was right behind me, he ran after me. He made sure that I knew everything would be okay. And I know, I know that you wanted to do the same dad. I'm not saying you didn't." The words quickly come out of my mouth as I see his face quickly dropping from the guilt of all those years ago, "I know you tried dad.

"I'm still sorry about that." He mutters.

"I know dad, that wasn't the point." He reaches over and pats my hand, and I try to continue. "There's this thing that I noticed. You see...when I run away, when I try to leave the world behind...if I count to five, Niall will always be right there, ready to catch me. He would always be there, dad. Always."

"Emma, baby. I know that...this is really important to you. Don't get me wrong. But...honey...why..." He pauses, sighing loudly as he runs a hand through his curls, "Why are you telling me this now?"

"A couple of weeks ago when you asked me if I still fancied Niall...I know that I said no, but..."

"But?"

"I do, dad. I still do."

He sighs loudly, uncrossing his legs and resting his elbows upon his knees, looking at me wearily, "I know, Emma. I know you do."

"You do?"

"Look, I know that you didn't want to tell me. But I knew you still fancied Niall, I know. It's pretty obvious, baby. I'm sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry?"

"It's just that...I guessed that it would pass. That...maybe it was just because he had come back and you hadn't seen him for so long...that maybe you'd just get over it. I didn't want to say anything." He chuckles, "I didn't want to embarrass you. It's just a harmless crush anyways."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not just a harmless crush anymore."

His face pales, and I could feel myself shaking more so than before...if that was even possible.

"Dad, I...I love Niall. I love him."

"Emma, baby, you've always loved Niall. He's family." He tries. Oh, God, I knew he was trying to convince himself that this wasn't happening. He was trying so hard to keep it together.

"Dad, I don't love him in that way. I don't love him in the way I love you, or Uncle Louis, or Mum, or Ollie. I love him...I am in love with him."

Dad's face is completely white at this point, his hands are nervously tapping his knees and he tries to speak. His mouth attempts to move, but his voice fails him.

"Dad?"

He clears his throat, "Does he know?"

"Niall?"

"Yes."

I lock eyes with dad, "Yes. He does."

"And what has he done about it?"

"What...has he done about it?"

"Emma, if he knows...what has he done about it? How long has he known? Why...why didn't he tell me?"

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Dad...We...I...."

"Baby, you've told me this much, what is so bad that you can't tell me?" His voice is a bit softer, he is trying to calm down. He's trying to rationalize the situation.

"Dad. Niall has done something about it. We both have."

"What...what have you done?"

"We're...we're together..."

"What do you mean 'we're together'?"

"Niall...when I told him I loved him...he told me...that he loved me too. He...he wants to be with me. We...we've been together."

"As in you're in a relationship?" His voice is eerily calm, his hands now holding onto the wooden armrests of his seat. The silver rings on his long fingers glinting in the light.

"Yes. We're in a relationship."


	35. Chapter 35

Half a fucking second. It was a pause, it was as if the entire earth stood still for half a second. Until it moved again and went in fast forward.

"Dad!?"

I watched as dad got up from his seat, his boots angrily clacking as he hurriedly ran towards the door. I was stuck, I was frozen, but he was moving at a sub-human speed. 

"Dad!" I untangle my limbs and attempt to run after him. But by the time I reach the door he's already made his way down the stairs.

My legs are shaking so violently as I try to make them work, as I try to catch up with him, but they won't let me. I fall forward, mum catching me as I almost fell headfirst down the last four steps.

"Emma? What's happening?" She says, her blue eyes terrified. She'd never seen dad that way.

I push off of her, trying to get to dad before he could-

"You, you fucking son of a bitch."

I watch from the archway leading to the living room. Dad had grabbed Niall by his collar, lifting him up from the sofa in one savage movement.

Uncle Louis looks at them, paralyzed. He knew that dad would react badly. We all had. But seeing it, actually living it, it was more than we had bargained for. 

"Mate?" Niall says, playing oblivious. 

"Don't you 'mate' me." Dad says, his tattooed hands clasped tightly around Niall's pristine white shirt. 

Niall simply glares at him. He knows, he knows that dad knows. But he can't defend himself. He wouldn't dare, "Harry." Niall tries in a calm tone of voice.

"No. You don't get to talk." Dad releases him roughly, stepping closer to him and poking him in the chest, "I am going to ask you one fucking question and you are going to give me one answer."

"Harry." Mum tries getting close to him, she tries pulling him back but he doesn't budge. She tries again, pathetically muttering, "Harry, please."

"No! Edie! You don't know what this degenerate has done! You don't fucking understand! Let me fucking resolve this!" He yells angrily. Mum simply looks at him with tears in her eyes. "Do you know what he's done?"

Mum looks at him but doesn't answer. Uncle Louis clears his throat. 

"YOU BOTH KNOW!?"

Mum looks away, "Harry-"

"YOU KNEW!? YOU KNEW AND YOU DID NOTING!? EMMA IS A CHILD EDIE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WATCH OUT FOR HER!"

Mum cries, knowing he's right. 

"And you!" He looks at Uncle Louis, his rage never once simmering down. "YOU ENCOURAGED THIS TOO!? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON!?"

"Dad." I try, but mum holds me back.

"Emma do you think this is okay!? What kind of father do you think I would be if I thought this was okay! I trusted you! I trusted the both of you!"

I look at him and yell back, "I love him! Dad, I love him! I'm not a child, I can make my own bloody decisions!"

"Does he love you!? Or is all that he wants is quick lay!? What about his wife Emma!? Do you know why he got a divorce!?"

I shake my head, "It doesn't matter! He would never hurt me!"

"If he would never hurt you, then in why in the bloody hell would he allow this to happen! He's supposed to take care of you! He's supposed to protect you! He's my fucking age Emma! In what world do you think this is acceptable!?

"Harry, I can explain." Niall says, trying to calm him.

"I don't want an explanation." Dad breathes out heavily, but his voice lowers to a scary, stoic tone. 

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to answer my only question."

"What is it?" Niall says, looking at dad steadily, trying to hold his own. 

"Are you in a relationship with my daughter?"

Niall looks at him, head on. Half a fucking second passes by before he responds, "Yes."

Dad's face contorts into a flurry of anger, rage, betrayal, and disappointment. And it took half a fucking second for him to pull back his arm and punch Niall square in the nose. As soon as his fist makes contact with Niall's face, the force of dad's furry pushes Niall back onto the couch. His pristine white shirt, now bloodied. 

"I want you out of my house. I don't ever want to see you here again." Dad says, staring at Niall holding his nose.

And he walks out, holding his fist, not looking at mum or at me. 

This was the end.

And it was all my fault.


	36. Chapter 36

"Fuck." Niall mutters as he touches his face.

I get some ice out of the freezer, place it into a plastic baggie, and press it to his already swollen nose. He only swears again, his blue eyes tearing.

"I'm sorry." I mutter.

"You're sorry!?" Uncle Louis says pacing around us, "Yes! You should be sorry! Both of you should be sorry!"

"Shut up." I utter in a low voice, Uncle Louis freezes as I continue, "I have had enough for today. If you're going to be a condescending ass the rest of the night, just do us all a favor and leave." I say, turning to look at him.

His eyes lock onto mine, only for a moment, and when our contact breaks he simply keeps pacing, "Whatever, Emma. You know I'm not leaving."

I wearily smile, knowing that in a way he was saying that although he thought we had done things stupidly, he was still here for us.

"Emma?" We all turn around and look towards the staircase, mum was leaning against the railing, tears filling her crystal blue eyes. "What just happened?"

"Mum...I...didn't think..."

"You didn't think this would happen?" She says in a small voice.

"No...I didn't."

"But it did, Emma. It did. And now...I don't know how we're going to fix it."

Niall and Uncle Lou look at her wordlessly, unable to say anything to comfort her.

"Emma...Harry doesn't want to speak to me." Mum's voice crack by the end of the sentence.

Uncle Louis quickly walks over to her, wrapping her in his warm embrace, "Give him some time Edie. You know him. You know that...he doesn't do well when he finds out he's been lied to."

Mum says turns to face me, "Why didn't you tell me that you were going to tell him?"

"I didn't want to worry you..."

"So you'd rather I be caught by surprise?"

"Mum...I just..."

She turns to look at Niall and shakes her head, "You just couldn't say no, could you?"

"What?" Niall says looking up and placing the baggie of ice upon the counter.

"You're the adult Niall, and you just couldn't say no to Emma? Really?" Her voice is shaking and Uncle Lou tries to restrain her to him.

"Edie, it's more complicated than that."

"Niall...she's a baby compared to you! You're almost forty and her life is barely beginning! What could possibly have been going through your mind that made you believe this was okay!?"

"Please, Edie, enough." Niall says pathetically.

"Enough?" Mum says in an incredulous tone, "You think what I've said to you is enough? You think that what Harry's done to you is enough?"

"Mum. Please." I grab her hand and intertwine it in mine, "I know it's hard to understand. I know. But mum," I hold back my tears and try to continue, "You remember how I kept asking you about inevitability?"

Her brow furrows until it flashes across her face, the realization of the words I had just spoken. She wipes away a tear as she whispers, "He's inevitable?"

"Yeah, mum. He is."

Everyone is silent, and then suddenly mum undoes herself from Uncle Louis' embrace and walks over to the cabinet to grab her bottle of wine. "We're fucked." She mutters, grabbing the cork screw and attempting to open the bottle with shaky hands. Niall hesitantly reaches over and opens it for her. Uncle Lou simply stares at her, mouth agape at having heard mum swear for the first time...probably in his life.

"We can work through this." Uncle Louis says in a rather false tone, approaching the counter and sitting next to Niall.

Mum simply looks at him with a smug face, "Don't bullshit me, Louis. I know we're fucked. I know it, they know it, and surely you of all people know it."

Again Uncle Lou's face flushes at her terse choice of words, but he continues anyways, "Well Edie, I don't know about you, but I don't think Harry has many choices in this matter. Either he's going to make Emma break it off with Niall, and keep them apart for the rest of his days. Or he'll accept it and move on."

Mum laughs bitterly, "You really think Harry is going to accept this? You think he's going to hand over the little girl he's given the world to, to his best mate? Do you really think so?"

"Edie." Uncle Louis says with a rather pointed smile, "You know damn well you don't choose who you love. You both know that."

Niall simply looks at me, smiling tiredly.

I try to say something, but my heart stops as I hear a door open and see only half of dad's face as he peers at us from behind the wall at the top of the staircase.

"Didn't I ask you to get out?" He mumbles, looking directly at Niall.

Niall grabs the baggie of ice, his car keys, and gets up from his stool, "I'll see you, princess."

"No, you will not." Dad says in a low, serious voice.

Niall grimaces, but does not push him any further. "Goodnight." He says in a whisper, heading towards the door and closing it behind him with a very intentional slam.

Dad simply sighs and walks back into his room, leaving mum, Uncle Louis and I at the counter island.

Mum grabs two more glasses from the cabinet and smiles a very sad looking smile, "Who wants some wine? Maybe that'll make our troubles go away."

"Edie, I don't think anything can do that." Uncle Louis says pouring the rich red liquid into each pristine glass.

"Well, it sure as hell won't hurt us to try."

I shake my head, knowing that there was no amount of alcohol in the world that could erase this night. It will forever be written in our memories.

"Emma?" Uncle Louis says tipping the glass my way.

I nod of course, taking the cool glass and pressing it to my lips. The wine is sweet and for a moment I can feel all the stress leaving my body.

But only for a moment.

Because after that moment, it hits me harder. Dad's reaction, the betrayal in his eyes, and the fact that Niall couldn't tell me what had happened with his wife.

Everything seemed to be falling apart.

"I wish I could piece it back together." I mutter hopelessly.

Uncle Lou and mum simply look at me with furrowed brows, until mum realizes what I'm referring to.

"Give it time, baby. That's all we can really do."

Time.

Maybe I should just leave it in the hands of time.

There's nothing more I can do anyways.


	37. Chapter 37

I wake up to silence.

It was eerie, to say the least.

Bright red numbers reflected 7:58 as I turned to look at my clock. I stretched out upon my bed, it was almost eight in the morning, everyone was most likely still sleeping.

I keep trying to reposition myself, to find a position suitable enough to go back to sleep, but it's pointless. I am uncomfortable even in my sheltered space. I face the window, sighing loudly as I watched the sunlight peeking in through the blinds. It was the wrong type of weather for this type of day.

I get up, unsure of what to do. I throw the sheets aside, making my bed slowly. I didn't want to be in the house, not for now.

The only logical thing to do, even at eight in the morning, was to text Janice. I knew she would not be awake quite yet, but it was the only choice I had, really.

I reach across to my nightstand, grabbing my phone, and quickly type out an SOS.

Need to see you ASAP

I put the phone back down and go to the bathroom, splash water onto my face, and finally start dressing. As I finish applying a minimal amount of makeup I hear my phone buzz and go to pick it up.

I'm working all day, just stop by the shop. I'll be on my own anyways.

Perfect. As long as I could leave this house and avoid any type of confrontation.

–❈–

In a little shop that sat directly in the heart of Primrose hills sat Janice. As I came to the door, I could see her thin figure sitting on a stool, cleaning the delicate looking trinkets from a display of beautiful crystal. I take a breath and finally with a shaky hand manage to grab the handle and open the door. She looks up as soon I step in, a bell chime announcing my presence.

"Ems, you came!" She says, bouncing out of her seat and hugging me tightly to her. "I would never have made you come here, but you said it was urgent and I don't get off til later."

"It's fine." I mumble, untangling myself from her and standing awkwardly.

Her brow furrows, "Whats happened?"

"Nothing...I..." I take a few steps and look towards the display case she had been cleaning, "Those are pretty." I say pointing to the crystal figurines.

"Pain in the arse is what they are. I have to clean them every day, or else they won't "shine" like they should." She walks back to the case and picks up where she left off, leaving me to wander aimlessly.

I walk back to her, near the counter, and look at a delicate porcelain figure of a boy pushing a girl on a swing. My fingertips trace the intricate work, as Janice hums to herself.

"Excuse me." She says moving my hand with a smile and taking the little boy and girl away from my reach. She begins to clean it and continues humming.

"Janice?"

"Hmmm."

"I have a problem." I don't turn to look at her, I simply continue looking at the little boy and girl. How happy they both looked, how innocent the piece itself seemed.

"What's that?"

"I told dad."

I hear a crash and turn to see Janice looking at me with a horrified look on her face, "You what!?" She looks down at her feet, the little boy and girl in shattered pieces around her. "Oh, fuck." She mutter grabbing a broom.

"Isn't that expensive?"

"Old bat won't notice. Nobody comes in here anyways, it's not like she'll know." She says as she sweeps up the pieces.

"Wait."

Janice looks at me with a furrowed brow as I removed the pieces from the dustpan, "I can fix it."

"Ems, it's fine. It's shattered, you can't fix it."

I could feel my cheeks burn and frustration begin to set in, "I want to do it. Let me fix it."

"Babes, it's porcelain, you can't just glue it back together."

"Let me try, God damn it!" I finally say grabbing all of the pieces and hugging them to me.

Janice's eyes widen, "Ems, put it down. You're bleeding."

Unwillingly, I place the pieces on the counter next to me, and see that my hand had a cut on it. Janice comes closer and her hand immediately wraps around mine, the other steadily holding the broom. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head, "No. I'm not."

She lets go of my hand, only for a moment, as she places the broom back in its place. She opens a cabinet and pulls out a first aid kit. As she grabs my hand again, leading me to a stool, and making me sit. Janice places the kit on the counter next to us and tips my chin up to face her, "Do you really want to fix the porcelain?"

"Yeah."

"You can't fix everything, Ems." Janice replies, opening the kit and taking out disinfectant.

"I know."

"But you're going to try anyways."

"You know that I am."

She places the band-aid over my cut and sets the kit aside, sitting next to me, "This isn't just about the porcelain is it?"

I shake my head and she sighs worriedly, "Tell me what happened."

–❈–

"You have to talk to him." Janice says looking at with a brow heavy with concern.

"Which one."

"Both of them."

"Which one first?"

"I...Niall?" She shrugs, "I think maybe you need to reassess where you two stand now...don't you think?"

"Do you think the whole wife thing changes things?"

"Does it to you?"

"I don't know. Maybe just the fact he didn't tell me in the first place."

"It is something to be ashamed of."

"Yeah, but still." I mutter, "I don't know how to feel about him...cheating on his wife. I mean, is that why they got divorced? You think that's the only reason why?"

"Ems, I think this is why you need to talk to him, not me."

"But do I even have a right to know all of that?"

She stays quiet for a moment and finally responds, "Not the details. But you do have a right to know what happened. If it was something serious...and you two are in a serious relationship...I don't know. I think he should tell you...right?"

"I guess." I mutter.

"And what about your dad?"

I sigh, "He was just...so broken, Jan. I..." I could feel the tears about to flow and am so incredibly ashamed of myself, "I don't know if...if he'll forgive us for this."

"He will, babes." She says stroking my hair lightly, "Give it some time."

"What if there isn't enough time to heal this wound?"

"Wounds always heal, Ems. Always." She says tracing my band-aid and smiling sadly.

We both jump at the sound my phone vibrating and chuckle rather nervously. As I unlock the screen I see that it's Niall and my heart skips a beat right on cue.

Princess, we should have a chat.

I show the text to Janice and she nods. "You can do this, just stay strong."

Stay strong.

I look at the pieces of the little boy and girl on the counter and grimace. They looked strong and sturdy, and all it took was one fall for them to break.

Staying strong was easier said, than done.


	38. Chapter 38

The sun was setting quickly and I knew that my phone was bound to ring. I sat in Niall's kitchen, the silence astoundingly awkward compared to before. As I looked across the small kitchen table at Niall, I saw that he shifted uncomfortably before piling some food into his mouth.

"Niall."

"Hmmm?"

"How...have you been?" I could feel myself tensing from sheer nervousness. This was so unlike us.

He swallows and gives me a weary smile, "About as good as I can be. What about you?"

"I haven't seen dad yet..."

"It's only been a day princess, give it some time."

I look up at him, but as soon as we make eye contact he breaks it. He looks back down at his food and starts pushing potatoes around his plate.

"Niall?"

"Yeah?"

"What..." I stop myself. Was this something that I really needed to know? I trusted Niall. I did. I trusted him with my very life. So why is it that I just can't let go of the fact that he had cheated on his wife?

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"You can ask me. I know you want to." He flushes, his cheeks being violently attacked by the growing blush.

"I just...is it true?"

"I..."

My phone starts buzzing and I roll my eyes. Niall clears his throat, clearly indicating that I should answer.

"It's only six thirty." I mumble looking at the caller ID, still not making any kind of indication that I would answer the call.

"Just answer it, Ems."

My hand reaches for the phone hesitantly, and finally it connects me to the voice I had yet to hear today, "Where are you?"

"With Janice."

This time the lie didn't leave me feeling guilty, funnily enough.

"Put her on the line."

"She's in the loo."

"I'll wait."

"Seriously, dad? I'm not putting her on the line. I'm nineteen years old, not ten. I'll be home before it gets late."

"Emma Grace. If you go within five feet of that-"

But I cut him off, pressing end, and look up at Niall, "You were saying?"

"He's really serious about this, Emma."

"I know."

"I'm sorry." He utters, putting his face in his hands. "I'm a fucking poor excuse of a man, princess. I shouldn't be doing this. You deserve so much better."

"What?" My voice quivers, afraid that he would break his resolve before I broke mine.

"Princess, why me? Why do you love me? What have I done to deserve you?"

"Seriously Niall? What have you done?"

He looks at me silently, waiting for me to continue. Urging me to say something that would alleviate the pain he had within.

I get up and walk around the table, sit upon his lap, and wrap my arms around him.

"You are my person." I kiss his cheek. "You have taught me everything I know." I kiss his other cheek. "You have helped make me into who I am today." I kiss his forehead. And finally, I looked straight into his eyes, "You are the reason I have survived the toughest years of my life." And kiss his soft, warm lips.

He pulls away slowly and shakes his head, "Ems."

I tip his chin towards me, making him look at me, "I love you, Niall. I love you for everything that you are and that you aren't. Just as you've loved me."

"Princess. I'm not the person you think I am."

"Why do you say that?"

"I...I..." He shakes his head, "Fuck. Look, I didn't cheat on my wife."

"You didn't?"

"No. It's worse than that."

"What...what did you do."

He hugs me tighter to him and sighs loudly before responding, "She was...never really my wife, Ems."

"What do you mean?"

He sighs loudly once more, guiltily looking at me, "It's a really long story, princess. You may want to sit back down in your chair."

–❈–

"I knew that the moment I came back to Ireland...that was it. I would be there until the day my dad died, and the way things were looking it wouldn't be too long." I nod. "But...as the days were passing there was hope. Of course there was, how couldn't there be. But..." He stops and sighs, "Then the doctor told us there wasn't much time. A year at most. So I asked my dad...I asked him what he wanted the most. That I would give him anything, anything he possibly wanted."

He takes a shaky breath and looks straight at me, "He told me he wanted to see me get married. That he wanted me to settle down, have some kids. That all he wanted was for me to be happy."

"So you got married."

"Yeah."

"To your girlfriend?"

"She...she wasn't my girlfriend, Ems."

I furrow my brow, "Then...?"

"I...I didn't want to be with anyone then. I really just didn't really think that I would ever get married, and as it was I wasn't looking for a serious relationship."

"Then how did you get married?"

"Leah...Leah was our neighbor. She had moved in a few months after I moved back with my dad. She liked me, well she loved me. Said she had been a fan when the band was around and had always fancied me. So...when I asked her...when I asked her to marry me...she didn't say no."

"Wait. What do you mean? Are you saying you just asked her to marry you as a favor?"

"We...we drew up a contract."

"Did you pay her to marry you?"

"Yeah."

"Then..."

"I used her, Emma. I used her feelings to my advantage. And I'm a shit person, I know that. I'm a shit man. But, fuck. I just wanted my dad to know I'd be okay after he left."

"So you married her."

"So I married her."

"How did you go about..."

"We made a contract stating that we would be married for four years. In those four years, we would act as if we were happily married. And by the end of the four years, we would get a divorce."

"But...why the cheating?" I say trying to process this. It sounded...like...an episode of a drama you see on the television.

"Emma, Leah loved me. She spent the four years we were married trying to make it work. That woman, she loved me. God knows why, but she did. She believed that one day...I could love her too."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't. So when the contract was over...she refused to believe that I would be leaving her."

"So you cheated on her."

"I made it seem like I did."

"But...were you two ever...together?"

"I'm a pathetic excuse for a man, princess. But I'm not a monster. I...I couldn't do that to her as well knowing that it would just bring her hopes up once more."

"So she left you?"

"She did."

"I..." I'm not sure what to say.

"I'm sorry." He says, his eyes brimming with tears. He comes around the table and kneels at my feet, placing his head upon my lap. "I'm so sorry that I left you all that time. I'm sorry I left you when you were just starting to come into your own. I'm sorry for every single thing that I missed. And I'm sorry for lying to you, princess."

"Niall." I stroke his hair, trying so hardly not to tear up myself. He looked so broken, so utterly in pieces.

"Emma. I love you. I do. But I'm scared I'm not good enough for you. You could do so much better than me. You're so young, so smart, you don't need me."

I slip out of my chair, his face looking at me confusedly as I kneel down his level, "I will always need you. You will always be everything that I will ever need."

I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. His body pressed onto mine and I could feel his arms wrap around my waist as we both knelt on his wooden kitchen floor. I pressed him to me, wishing I could magically put him back together this way. Wishing that the pieces would stay in their rightful place.

We stayed like this for mere moments before he finally muttered into my ear, "You are my weakness little girl."

I smiled, a tear streaming down my face, "And you are my strength."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And somehow I knew that would always be enough. Three words, eight letters, they would suffice when there were no more words to say. Hell, even when there were words to say, those three words would be enough.

I love him.

And I think that says it all.


	39. Chapter 39

It happens when you least expect it. When there isn't any planning nor any indication. At least, that's what Janice told me one day when we were watching one of those terrible romantic comedies. She laughed at me as I tried to tell her that it should be planned meticulously, everything perfectly in place. That there should be a date, a time, some kind of warning before it happened.

I mean, there should be, shouldn't there?

But as we knelt on the kitchen floor, our bodies touching, all that was running through my mind was the thought that I loved him, that I loved him more than I possibly thought. That all I wanted was to press myself to him, to feel his warmth upon my skin. I wanted us to be one, now more than ever.

All that had happened, the fighting, the lying, the heartache, all I could think about was him. How much, how very very much, I wanted to be with him.

"Emma?" He murmurs, his eyes focused upon my lips.

"Yeah?"

He doesn't say anything further. He simply places his lips upon mine, wrapping his arms tightly around me. My mind goes blank, it simply processes the touches. My lips against his, his tongue in sync with mine, his hands slowly tracing my skin.

It's only mere moments before he breaks contact, lifting me up off the floor and picking me up into his arms in one motion. I hang onto him, my lips hungrily searching for skin, tracing his neck, his collarbone, as he walked us up the stairs.

He remained silent as he placed me upon his bed, looking at me as I laid there, peering back.

Slowly he lowered himself upon me, brushing a strand of hair off my face, "I love you."

The sun had set, the darkness of the room making him less visible to me. I could barely make out the profile of his face.

I grasp his shoulders, forcing him to lower himself further, close enough for me to kiss him. "I love you too."

He kisses me then, perhaps more passionately than he ever had. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach, a knot of desire heating up my body. He was so warm, his kisses so deep, everything was wonderfully vivid.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done, Emma."

"I know."

"I just..." He looks pensively away at the wall. I could feel my anxiety growing. "I'm so-"

"Niall." I say grabbing his face in my hands and turning it toward me. "For the love of God, just shut up and kiss me."

And he does.

He kisses me without any restraints this time. He is above me, his body barely touching mine, as if he is afraid of losing control. Yet, his tongue plunged between my lips, allowing me to taste him. My own tongue twined around his. His hands dove into my hair, grabbing handfuls of it and pulling me up towards him, crushing my mouth to his as my own fingers slid into his hair to pull him onto me.

My body seemed to melt against his. I could feel him, the fullness of him, the warmth he radiated.

The need to touch, be touched, to take and give, nearly overwhelmed me.

I unzip his hoodie, finding soft skin underneath. He does not break contact as I had expected. Instead he continues as I trace every crevice, every dimple, every beautiful piece that made him who he was. He smiles as I kiss him back, deepening each kiss, making each one last longer than the last. I could feel myself reeling from the mere contact, from his lips gently biting mine, from his hands being tangled in my hair.

I take off the hoodie, leaving his torso completely bare.

As he reaches to lift my light cotton dress, my hand instinctively stops his. He looks up at me, kissing me gently once more. There was the question in his eyes, but he dared not ask it. He attempted to stop, to get off of me, to leave this as it was and not push it any further.

But I didn't let him.

I pull him back onto me, looking straight into his eyes, reassuring him that I was ready. That I wanted nothing more than to be with him. I nod and silently watch as he rids me of the rest of my clothing, I could feel my heart about to burst has he looked at me.

He simply looked at me.

Astounded, amazed, I am not quite sure how to gauge his reaction. I can feel myself flushing and am silently thankful for the cover of darkness.

His crystal eyes were illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the window. I watch him as he traces the curves of my body. He took his time, all the imperfection suddenly drifting away, seeming to be utter perfection in his large, able hands and dreamy eyes.

He was able to make me feel beautiful without uttering a single word.

He gently raises the covers over us, ridding himself of the rest of his own clothing. I blush as I feel the warmth of his body upon mine. As I feel the jut of his hip bones dig into my hands. He looks at me once more, just once more before he allows himself to go past the point of never going back.

And I did not know whether it was the moonlit sparkles in his eyes, or the intimacy of this long awaited moment, or if it was even my imagination running away with my once more.

But I could honestly say that I had never felt more loved in the entirety of my life.

He didn't have to say a word to prove to me that he was reciprocation my thought. And he didn't.

If I were to plan this, to have marked a day in my calendar and said "This is going to be the day. It will happen this way, at this time, at this place." I would have been heavily dissapointed. It would never have compare to this.

And even if it was a midst such tension, a midst a day where I wasn't sure that things would ever fall together again. It didn't matter.

All that matters is him.

That he is now, and forever will be, the person I will without a doubt love for the entirety of my existence.

It took today to prove that this statement will ring true, no matter the time or distance or situation. It will always be him.

And that's all that matters.


	40. Chapter 40

We are lulled to a half-sleep, a dream-like state in which we existed weightlessly. Naked limbs entangled together, our bodies acknowledging and accepting the magnetic pull we had always denied, finally allowing ourselves the pleasure of each other's much-needed touch. The warm summer breeze kisses our damp skin as it enters through a window in the moonlit room.

We refuse to acknowledge the fact that it was well into the night, that I had never made it home.

We refuse to come back to reality. For there was no reality much grander, nor more perfect than the one we had created.

Enclosed in this space, in this time, in this place, I lived only for him and him for me.

For now, for the time that remained, our world consisted of only two things: The moonlit summer breeze, and the ecstasy that had clouded our drowsy brains.

–❈–

As I lay my head upon his warm chest and listen to his heart beat, I could hear his breathing deepening. He was falling asleep.

I felt my own eyes close as I wrapped myself tighter to him, his hand pulling me closer to his side.

"Niall?"

"Hmmm?" He mumbles drowsily, petting my head in a soothing motion.

"Who was your first kiss?"

He chuckles sleepily, "Her name was Cecile. She was a foreign exchange student."

"Was she pretty?"

"I don't remember. I was eleven, princess."

"That's really young. Was it a proper kiss then?" I tease.

"Proper snogged her at eleven, I did."

"Shut up, no you didn't."

I knew he was smirking, I didn't even have to look at him.

"When was yours?" He asks, continuing to stroke my hair.

"Last year."

"Last year?" He asks in utter surprise. "Eighteen then?"

"Eighteen."

"With who."

"I...I don't remember." I say sheepishly.

"You're lying." He doesn't say it in an accusatory tone, he simply states it as a fact, implying that I didn't want to tell him.

"I'm not actually. It was my first uni party, I think he was the lad that owned the flat, but I never really figured it out. I was bloody pissed."

"Reasons why you don't drink til you drop at uni parties." He says kissing my forehead.

"You aren't bothered?"

"Why would I be bothered? What matters is being a girl's last kiss, anyone could be her first."

I shake my head slightly, snuggling into his warm, bare chest, "Still full of cliches are we?"

"Mmmhmm." He replies turning on his side and embracing me to him. Bare skin to bare skin.

I relish the contact, try to memorize what it felt like, his touch, his smell. I would store this away for when I was at home, alone in my bed, wishing he were there with me.

"I can't believe this is happening." I whisper into his torso.

"Life is crazy." He replies.

"But so utterly perfect."

I could hear the smile in his voice as he says, "Go to sleep, princess."

I close my eyes, wrapped in his embrace I could be lulled to sleep easily. My heart no longer raced in his presence, it was calm. It felt so right.

"What happens when the sun comes out?"

"We do it all over again." He mutters into my neck.

"Everything?"

"Every. Last. Thing." He says in between fluttering kisses that he placed upon my collarbones.

"Goodnight." I finally say, knowing that he was fighting off sleep at this point.

"Goodnight, Ems."

He starts to snore lightly almost immediately, and just as I feel myself in that limbo between dreams and reality, a sound goes off that makes me stir.

It was unrecognizable at first, almost as if it was miles away. No where near the world we were inhabiting at the moment.

But suddenly it grew louder, more frequent.

"What was that?" Niall says as he shoots up in bed at the sound.

"Was that the doorbell?" I ask sleepily.

"Might be the neighbor, cat always wanders over here. I swear if it's her asking for that bloody cat one more time." He mutters, untangling himself from me and making his way across the room to switch on the light. He yawns loudly, "Bloody cats. Always wandering off. This is why we're going to have a dog. They're not as fucking annoying."

I have a brief brush with panic, but talk myself out of it. Rationalizing that it was well into the night, that if anyone were to come here, it would be the woman looking for her cat once more as Niall pointed out. It couldn't possibly be...no.

I assure myself once, twice, three times that the feeling that was growing in the pit of my stomach, gnawing and replacing the happiness with anxiety, was foolish.

"Don't go." I mutter, wrapping myself in the light comforter and sitting up in his bed.

He walks around the room picking up his pants and putting them on, "I'll be right back, princess."

"Okay." I mutter, watching as he turned off the light and looked back at me.

"Keep my side warm, I'll be back as soon as I catch that bloody cat."

I could hear him going down the steps, one, two, three, four, five. I couldn't hear him walking through the kitchen because he was barefoot. But I kept imagining him going out into the garden, chasing after a fat orange tabby, fighting the cat for dominance as he grabbed it firmly and brought it back to its respective owner. Not without a scratch or two on him though. He would come back, complaining how "The fucking cat is that fat, yet it's still able to escape the house? Really? Bloody thing couldn't even escape me, but it can escape a sixty five year old woman?" And then I would kiss the scratches on his arms, even the one he got on his face. And he'd look at me, the moonlight shining in his crystal blue eyes, and tell me "This is why we're getting a fucking dog." And we'd laugh and collapse back into the bed, he would shed his clothes and once more his body would press against mine, bare skin to bare skin, as we talked about which kind of dog we should have. As we laughed and filled the room with love and sarcastic comments. As we made love once more, well into the night.

But this isn't what happens.

"Where the fuck is she!?"

Reality hit me hard, so fucking hard so fucking fast.

"Where is who?"

"Don't play stupid! I know she's here! Where is my daughter!?"

And I struggled to accept that our reality had been trespassed upon, broken so harshly so suddenly.

"She isn't here!"

"Where the fuck else would she be, Niall? You're going to tell me if I go upstairs right now, I'm not going to find Emma?"

"No, you're not."

"Then you won't mind if I check."

"Yes I fucking mind! It's fucking one in the morning, and as far as I'm concerned we're not on the best of fucking terms mate. What gives you the right to come into my house and search for her? Do you have a fucking warrant?"

But I realize that I am done. So done with trying to fix everything. I am ready to face what is coming. More ready than I ever thought I could possibly be.

"If she's not here, then you won't mind me having a look then?"

This is where I draw my alliances, where I decide on what comes first.

"I told you to get the fuck out."

"Not without my daughter."

And perhaps, this will be the end to it all.


	41. Chapter 41

Rudely awakened, the dream-like state vanished, I realize that I had to keep calm. I had to keep calm.

"Where is she? And don't give me that bullshit that she's with Janice, I know she's not."

"Harry. I'm going to tell you for the last time, I do not know where your daughter is. Kindly get the fuck out of my house."

And suddenly I hear a thud. A hit against a wall that resonates throughout the entirety of the otherwise silent house.

"Fuck." I mutter, hopping out of the position I had been paralyzed in and grabbing the first article of clothing I find.

I zip up Niall's jumper and open the door to his closet.

Fuck, no...too cliche. I could already see I have made a huge mistake.

And so I find myself faced with two options.

Either I hide, I make it seem as if I am not here. And if by some miracle of God, dad walks into this room and does not open this door, and simply makes an arse out himself before leaving, then maybe...maybe I have a chance at finding a way to prove Niall's innocence. Of proving that I was never here.

But if not...if he opens this door, this thin fucking door that was the barrier between me and all hell breaking loose, if per chance he opens it and finds his daughter half naked in a man's ratty jumper...

I cannot even continue.

I can feel myself panicking and I try not to, I try so hard not to. I try to rationalize. I try to figure out what I should do. Should I hide? Should I let this continue? Should I really let dad dominate who I can and cannot see?

"Emma?" It is not the typical voice that rouses me from my heavy sleep, or asks me if I want chocolate chip pancakes. It is a voice full of anger, of pure and utter betrayal. "I know you're here."

"I fucking told you she's not here!"

And then there was silence, boots upon a wooden and creaky floor. I feel my heart racing, my stomach gnawing at itself.

"Niall?" An eerily calm voice asked.

"What?"

"Do you want to explain to me..." A pause, a bloody pause pregnant with agony, "Why my daughter's dress is on the floor of your bedroom?"

"How...how do you know that's her dress?"

A slam into a wall, a fist crashing into a hard surface, "Where. Is. She."

My hand shakes as I hang on to the handle.

Option one or option two? Do I hide, do I continue hiding for the rest of my life, or do I come out and stand my ground?

Fuck it all to hell.

"I'm here." I state rather firmly, opening the door and stepping out, assessing the damage. Dad had Niall pinned to the wall. Said wall had a dent in it, dad's fist bloody was held tightly by his side.

Dad turns around at the sound of my voice, his normally jade eyes now a swampy shade of brown, "Emma?"

"You were looking for me weren't you?" I pray that my voice doesn't cross me.

He looks at me up and down, my legs bare, my hair a mess, my naked body covered by a jumper that was so clearly Niall's. My dress was in his other, bloodied hand. He throws the flimsy material down onto the floor and moves quickly to my side, "We're going home."

"No."

"You don't have a say, Emma." He grabs my wrist, dragging me to him.

But I pull myself loose and stand directly in front of him, "Yes, I do."

"Emma Grace." He warns angrily.

"No. I've had enough." I can feel my lower lip quiver, but continue, "You didn't even give me a chance to explain."

"What do you want to explain to me? That he's different? That he isn't interested only in...sex!?" Dad's face flushes at the word, his eyes widen. "Tell me how I'm supposed to take either of you seriously, how in the bloody hell I am supposed to sit back and accept that someone my age is sleeping with my daughter!? How am I supposed to accept that this man, this man that was supposed to care for you and protect you is having a casual lay with you!? Tell me Emma, how am I, as a father, supposed to accept this!?"

"It isn't only about sex!" I say, my voice raising at every syllable, "He loves me! He makes me happy! I'm not a naive and helpless child that has been lured into his bed with promises of love and happiness! He is not the type of man to use me in such a disgusting manner! We are both adults. I made the decision to sleep with him, and I am making the decision to stay with him!"

Niall leans against the wall, waiting. Waiting for something to happen, waiting to jump in and defend me. I know, I can tell by the look on his face.

But dad doesn't react. He doesn't continue. He simply looks at me and says, "Get your clothes on, we're going home." And walks out the door.

I look up at Niall, he shakes his head.

"I don't want to leave."

He sighs, "Princess, I think...I think you have to this time."

"Do you not want me here?"

He picks up my dress of the floor, placing it in my palm, "You know that's not why you have to go."

I did. But I was scared.

I had never seen dad in such a state. What...what could he possibly do?

"How bad do you think this is going to get?" I mutter, picking up my other articles of clothing.

Niall sighs, about to leave me to change, "I don't know how it could get any worse."

And it hurts, the very words cut through me as if he...he almost regretted the entire thing, "I'm sorry." I mutter.

He turns, just as he was about to step out, "For what?"

"For fucking everything up. For...for being the cause of all this."

He groans, stepping towards me and enveloping me in his warm embrace, "I told you to stop fucking saying that you're sorry."

"How could I possibly do that?"

"Ems, know that I will be here, always. That I don't regret a thing that's happened. The only thing I could possibly regret...is..."

"What?"

"That this could be the end of a very special relationship between you and Harry."

"Do you think it could be?"

"I pray to God it isn't. I don't want to live with regrets, and I don't want either of you to live without each other."

"Please." I whisper into his ear as he strokes my hair, "Don't make me go."

"You're fireproof princess, you can do anything." He kisses the top of my head, letting me go and finally opening the door to exit.

"I love you."

He smiles wearily, "I love you too. Get dressed, he's waiting. And be brave."

Be brave. Be strong. Be fireproof.

How could I be all these things without falling apart?


	42. Chapter 42

Silence like this, silence so utterly unsettling...so incredibly choking, has never occurred between dad and I. But as I sit in the front seat, my hands shaking and my eyes facing only forward, I know...I know that this situation was about to spin out of control.

We veer off the main street, making it to the front gates of the drive way. I look up at the house and see that the lights were still on, even though it was well past two thirty in the morning.

Dad parks, slams his door shut, and heads inside...whilst I am still in the process of getting off my seat belt. My heart pounds, I know...I know that mum still had to be awake. That knowing the situation, she would be perched at the kitchen island with her bottle of Merlot, sipping tediously from her glass.

My legs wobble as I approach the door, opening it and stepping in only to hear, "I found her."

I peek into the kitchen to see mum, her hair a mess and still in pajamas, with her face in what was a mixture of shock and relief, "Thank God." She gets up to wrap her arms around me as dad heads to the stairs.

"Where were you, baby? We were worried sick." She pulls away and looks at me up and down. Dad stops. He doesn't turn around, but he doesn't continue.

"I was..."

"She was at Niall's house, Edie. At Niall's house, alone, at two in the bloody morning."

Mum's face pales, "You were where?" Her voice is tiny, her eyes start to water.

"Our daughter was at his house, half naked and wearing his bloody jumper." He sighs.

"Emma." She whispers.

"Mum, I'm alright."

"Yes, we know you're alright. You seemed perfectly comfortable with him." Dad replies rather bitterly.

Mum simply looks at him, not quite yet understanding what had happened.

"That isn't fair." I say looking straight at him. He ignores me, turning and attempting to go up the stairs.

But he stops, he shakes his head without facing us,"Life is not fair, Emma. How do you expectsme to believe that this is real? That you're doing the right thing?"

"I am doing the right thing. What I did was not something bad. It's something two people do when they're in love."

"That isn't love, Emma." His voice is firm, unlike before. And it scares me. It scares me to think that he could say that without any type of emotion, that he says it just as if it were a fact.

"Why is it not love, dad?" Mum grabs my wrist, pleads with me silently to stop talking, but I ignore her. "Is it wrong because you think it is? It's not love because you can't see past the fact that it's Niall I am in love with?"

"He's not the man for you Emma. I know that you idolized him, fancied him...that you've loved him since long ago...that maybe your feelings for him are something you've confused...but Emma, why can't you see that this isn't right?"

"Please dad. Please tell me why this isn't right. Give me a good reason."

He stays silent.

"Dad? Why is it so bad?"

He turns around, facing me with his swampy brown eyes and his red face, "Niall was supposed to take care of you Emma. He knew, he knew that you had feelings for him and he's taking advantage of that, baby. Why can't you understand? You're so young, so gorgeous. You could have anyone you want. Why does it have to be him? He raised you, Emma. He cared for you! It's like me fancying Janice! I'm bloody sure you wouldn't approve of that! So why is thatany different from this?"

"I love him. I always have. Regardless of age, dad. He's always loved me. Always."

"But he doesn't love you. This proves it! This whole situation! If he did, he wouldn't have accepted this! He wouldn't have allowed-"

"Allowed for me to be with him? Allowed for himself to accept his feelings?"

"He would have done the right thing, Emma. He would have been the fucking adult he should have been."

"Dad."

"No, Emma. I'm sick of repeating myself, I bloody am. I don't know how else to say this to you, but I get the feeling that you won't care regardless of what I say." He exhales, turning around and facing the stairs once more. "So do whatever you want, Ems. After tonight...there's not much I can protect you from. There's nothing I can say that will change your mind."

"Dad."

He goes up the first three steps before saying, "I'm just so disappointed in both of you. I thought so highly of Niall, I never would have thought...and you. My baby girl. I wish I could stop you from doing such a foolish thing. I wish I could just protect you from the world."

"I.."

He turns back slightly, curls in his eyes,"But you won't let me anymore. So go ahead. Do as you please."

As he walks up the stairs, I could literally feel it.

The distance between us much larger, as vast as I could ever have imagined, leaving us in two completely different worlds.

For the first time in my life, I realize now, I am the furthest from my father I have ever been.

And the scariest part wasn't the fact that there was this grand span of space between us, no.

It was the fact that I didn't know the way back to him.


	43. Chapter 43

There was that silence again as if our very lives had been put on pause. It was incredibly intimidating, penetrating every inch of the house. Everything was still, we felt as if we were frozen in place watching his back as he went up the stairs.

I turn to look at mum as she watches dad disappear, "Harry! Harry, wait!"

But he doesn't. He doesn't wait. He doesn't stop. He doesn't even hesitate when he hear her pleading with him. We hear a door slam and look at each other.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"Ems..."

"Mum. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "I think it's too late for that, baby."

And I know she doesn't mean it in a harsh fashion, she was simply stating a fact. It was a harsh one in and of itself, but the fact that she said it so calmly, so incredibly without emotion, made me realize how it was simply a statement now.

It's too late.

It is now too late for I'm sorry.

She heads up the stairs and I knew she was going to try to reach him. She was going to fucking try, while I stood here and did nothing.

Because what could I do?

"I'm sorry." I whisper pathetically, but of course no one hears. No one was here to hear me.

Ultimately, why does it matter if they do. What could it have possibly changed?

It won't change anything.

–❈–

Thoughts ran rampantly in my head, all screaming "They were right." Mom, Uncle Lou, Janice, they were all right. Everything was starting to unravel, and I didn't know how to stop it. How could it all have come to this?

Yes, I knew it was coming. I knew that something bad would happen, that it would be inevitable. But how could he not understand? How could dad not possibly want to understand. I have never been at odds with him, I have never been this far from him.

How could it have come to this?

"Edie, wait."

I furrow my brow as I hear dad yell down the hallway, his raspy voice coming through my wooden door and into my room. It's a pleading voice, one full of regret.

"Don't go! I didn't mean it!"

I unwrap myself from my sheets and crack the door open just a bit, just enough to see mum rushing down the stairs with a small pack in her hands.

"Edie."

She doesn't turn back. She keeps going, her blonde hair swinging behind her fervently.

Dad's voice cracks, his voice raspier with every word, "Edie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Love!"

A door slams shut. I try to contain it, the sob that was about to escape my lips.

A fist hits a wooden surface and all of a sudden his raspy voice rings throughout the house "Fucking shit!"

My heart stops as I imagine dad bent over the door, his hair in his face and his fist raised against the door. I hear a door creak and peeked a bit to the left, knowing that it would be Ollie. He looked at me worriedly, and I poked out my hand telling him to come towards me.

He quietly opens his door, his feet sliding upon the wooden floor to me. Ollie tries to not make any sound as he slides into my room.

I close the door and flip on the light, his eyes search mine for an answer.

"Emmie, what's going on?" His voice sounds smaller than usual, his brow was covered by his blonde mop of curls, but I could still see how furrowed it was. I tried to smooth out the wrinkles, my thumb slightly working out the creases on his soft skin. He stops my hand and lowers it, holding it in his. "Emmie, I'm serious. Please tell me."

"I don't know, bud. I really don't."

"Why were you all screaming?"

"Something...something happened with me and dad is all."

"Then why did mum leave?"

"She'll be back."

"Then why did she take a pack?"

I look away from his piercing, questioning eyes, "She'll be back soon, Ollie."

"Emmie?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it because of Uncle Niall?"

"What?"

"Is it because you fancy Uncle Niall?"

"How...how did you know that?"

"You and Janice aren't good at keeping your voices down when you're talking in here."

"Have you been eavesdropping?" I say hugging him towards me.

He shakes his head, "No...you guys just talk loud."

"Right."

He looks up at me, his face still pressed to my body, "Is it because of that though?"

"Kind of."

"You can tell me."

"I know bud, I just really don't want to talk about it right now."

"What do you want to do then?"

"I think it's much past your bedtime."

We both turn to look at the clock, "God Ollie, it's four in the morning."

"Yeah..." He says unwrapping himself from me, heading toward the door.

"You can sleep in here if you like. No use in you sleeping alone."

He turns towards me and smiles, jumping into my bed at once, and holding the covers open for me to join him. I switch off the light before finally coming back to my bed.

As I wrap him in my embrace, as I have every time he has had a bad dream or trouble sleeping, I could feel him relaxing and falling asleep almost immediately, "Goodnight baby brother." I say in a whisper, kissing the top of his head.

"Goodnight big sister."

–❈–

I lay in a sleepless dream, a reality that is surreal. A dream-like state, gone so utterly wrong. It was in every way an utter nightmare.

I could hear dad pacing, I could hear him slamming inanimate objects, I could hear his heartbreak reverberating throughout our incomplete house.

And all I could think was one thing...

It's all my fault.


	44. Chapter 44

"Emmie?"

I drowsily open my eyes to see Ollie's gazing at me intently, I jump up and ask, "What is it? Are you alright?"

"I'm hungry." He says with a sheepish smile.

I turn to look at the clock on my dresser and shake my head, it was well past noon.

"Why didn't you go downstairs? You know how to make a sandwich."

"I...was waiting for you." He avoids my stare and jumps out of bed, "Can we please go downstairs and eat?"

I smile, "Of course, bud. Go brush your teeth okay?"

He walks into my bathroom, closing the door behind him quietly. I silently sigh to myself, knowing the my little brother was now afraid to roam his own house by himself. Perhaps he feared dad because he had never seen him act the way he has these past few days, or perhaps he's scared he'll look for mum and not find her. I swear at myself for having involved him in this, he shouldn't be worried about things like this. He should be able to go to the bloody kitchen because he was hungry, not have to wait for his big sister to protect him in case he got caught in the cross fire.

"Can you make your mac and cheese?" Ollie says walking out of the bathroom and walking towards me.

"I thought you hated it."

"Only when dad makes it."

"Too much mac..."

"Not enough cheese." He says with a smile.

"Alright, let's make mac and cheese then."

"Do we have to change out of our pajamas?"

I look down at the both of us and shrug, "Nah, feels like a lazy day anyways."

Ollie opens the door and peeks out cautiously, as I step behind him and swing it open, "What are you doing? It's well past noon. We can make noise."

Ollie looks up at me worriedly, but says nothing as we had to the stairs and go to the kitchen. He takes up a stool at the island and watches as I busily prepare our lunch.

"Emmie?"

"Yeah?"

"About Uncle Niall?"

I turn to look at him, and he tries to continue his question, "Do you really fancy him? Is that why dad is so mad?"

"Ollie, I just...you're too young to understand."

"I am not."

"It's just really complicated."

"But, Emmie..."

"What?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Ollie, it's not that at all."

"Love is just really complicated Ollie. Not just the girlfriend and boyfriend kind of love, but the family kind of love too. And I don't know where any of us really stand right now."

"So I guess you can't answer my other question either?" He asks peering from beneath his curls.

"What's your other question?"

"When is mum coming home?"

–❈–

The day my brother was born was the day I knew everything was going to change. I no longer felt resentful towards the fact that there was going to be another child to steal my parents' affections, nor that I would have to share things with him. No, the moment I looked at him I felt the urge to protect him. I felt that I would always have to do so, that I would always have to make sure that he would be alright.

Funny things that love makes us do.

I had been hellbent on detesting my baby brother at that age, but the moment I held him in my arms it all faded away.

And here I was, making sure he was alright once more. Hoping, praying, wishing that somehow I could help him through this mess, hoping that he wouldn't blame me for it as well.

–❈–

As soon as I manage to convince Ollie that it would be alright for him to practice his drum for a bit, I run off to my room and dial mum.

She answers after the first ring.

"Ems?"

"Mum. Where are you?"

I could hear her trying to hold back a sob, "I'm at your grandma's."

"Grandma Anne's?"

"Yes."

Oh, boy. Dad was going to get an earful from grandma sooner or later.

"Mum, what happened."

"We had a bit of a spat."

"So you left?"

"Trust me, Ems." She breathes out, "I think the time apart will do us some good."

"I beg to differ, dad hasn't been out of his room all day."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Let the bastard suffer."

"Mum."

"Baby, don't worry. Grown-ups have spats from time to time."

"Yeah, but I've never seen you leave the house. What about Ollie?"

"I'll talk to him tonight, alright?"

"Alright."

"Sending you my love. Don't worry, Ems."

"Alright. Love you too, mum."

I roll my eyes as I hang up the phone. Could problems be fixed as easily as just running away and letting the other person reflect? I sincerely doubt it.

I jump as my phone vibrates in my hand,

Princess, meet out front after dark?

I quickly text back,

Only for a few minutes.

within seconds he responds,

it's all I need.

Could I just leave this problem up to the fates to fix? Was there really anything else I could try to do to fix everything with dad? I couldn't just stop seeing Niall, that was unreasonable wasn't it?

I contemplate as I watch the sunset, the orange-pink hue invading the walls of my room and casting an angelically beautiful glow upon my white walls.

Waiting for the darkness, I tried to forget about all the chaos around me.

And tried only to think of the feel of his arms around me when I finally saw him.

"Emmie? Mum called!"

I smile to myself, hearing Ollie excitedly outside of my door.

For now, I'd relish the painted glow of my room, the innocent smile of my baby brother, and the butterflies in my stomach at the very thought of seeing him.


	45. Chapter 45

Long after Ollie falls asleep, and the light goes off in dad's room, I sneak out in my pajamas and find myself on the edge of our driveway waiting for Niall's headlights to beckon me out onto the street for a supposedly secret rendezvous, whilst running the risk of being caught by the neighbors in my plaid shorts and thin camisole.

Why I was out here, waiting for Niall to come, and for dad to most likely find us together...again...I had no idea. Love truly makes us do foolish things I suppose.

I could have at least managed to grab a jumper though...

A bright light shining through the slits in the gate interrupts my train of thought, relieving me and filling me with butterflies all at once. I quietly open the metal gate, and sneak out onto the street. Niall's car is parked a little bit away, the headlights dimming as he sees me approaching. I open the passenger seat in one swift motion, a little too eager to see him. As soon as I sit in the leather seat, he pulls me towards him and greets me with a warm embrace, his arms wrapping around my bare shoulders, and his cologne lingering around us. I breathe it in, realizing only know how much I had missed it.

"Princess." He breathes out.

"Hi." I mutter into his neck.

"How are things?" He says pulling away and looking at me a bit nervously. Once more the pale moonlight outlines his profile, making his blue eyes shimmer.

I clear my throat, "Why did you come? You know how things are..."

"Do you not want me here?" Niall asks a bit playfully.

"You know damn well that's not what I mean." I say kissing his cheek lightly.

"Then what is it, Ems?"

I sigh, "Mum left."

"What do you mean she left?"

"She and dad had a spat."

"About us?"

"Yeah."

He turns away from me, "We're just fucking everything up aren't we?"

"Yeah." I say quietly, "Yeah...we are."

A beat of silence, I could hear him thinking.

"Princess." Niall says suddenly, turning my face towards his. His voice was serious, as serious as I had ever heard it. "If you were to say...you want to run...that you want to leave...that you want to be with me...we could do it. We could leave." He pauses, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing it, "Together."

"But..."

"But, if you want your family back, princess...if you want your life back, Emma...I have to—"

"Don't say it." I say cutting him off and placing my index finger upon his lips.

He smiles worriedly, slowly taking my fingers off his lips, "Emma, love. If you're ready to run, to leave this all behind I would do it. I would run with you. But princess..."

"I'm not ready yet."

"I know. I know that. You don't have to be." He comes towards me, his lips meeting the crease in between my brow, "I will wait."

"You won't leave me?"

"I—"

But before he could finish, our heads snap up at the tapping sound of the glass. My stomach turns as I see dad standing at Niall's window, calmly indicating that he wanted Niall to roll the window down.

"Fancy meeting you here." Dad says sarcastically as Niall lowers the glass. His hair was a mess, tied back in one of the horrid scarves we had thought mum had thrown away.

"Likewise." Niall says sternly. I could see his fingers tapping on the steering wheel.

"I think it's about time we have a chat mate. How about you park inside?" Dad points towards the gate, furrowing his brow a bit and giving a cocky smile, "Sorry to interrupt your conversation, you don't mind if I take him for a bit do you, Ems?" His voice was morbidly calm.

I shake my head, avoiding his stare.

"Good then, meet me in the study? I'll have your spot of tea at your usual seat." And with that dad walks back to the house.

"The fuck is going on?" Niall asks turning the car on and driving slowly towards the house.

"I have a feeling we're about to find out."

Niall parks the car, sighing loudly before turning to me "If I scream, if I even make one sound that does not sound normal to you, I want you to call the police."

"What...why?"

"I feel as if I'm about to walk onto death row."

"Dad's not going to kill you..." We both stay quiet, making me ask out loud, "Right?"

"Reassuring." He says turning the key in the ignition and adjusting his seat.

"Well, at least we have a plan."

"What?"

"If I hear anything out of the ordinary I'll hop on the phone and call the police."

I could hear him gulp, "I have a feeling they won't get here in time."

"Maybe he's poisoned the tea..."

"Put something on the biscuits I always eat?"

"Maybe he'll drug you and tie you up and keep you in the basement. Torture you til you agree to move to Greenland and spend your days as an ice fisherman in the middle of nowhere."

"Do you have a basement?"

"That's the only thing that sounded off to you?"

"You're not answering my question."

"No...we don't have a basement."

He breathes out in relief, "Well, at least we can rule that out then."

We laugh at each other, helping ease the situation a bit.

"I guess the time has come." He says going to open the car door.

"Are you ready?" I ask, reaching for his hand and taking it in mine.

"For you? Always."

"I hope you're ready enough for the both of us then."

He chuckles, "Remember, if I make one sound..."

"I will dial the police."

"That's my girl."

I roll my eyes as we get out of the car and walk up to the front steps of the house.

"Here goes nothing." He says in a single breath.

Not ready, ready, it didn't matter at this point. It was happening, and there was nothing I could really do about it, except pray that everything turned out alright.

"It'll be okay." He says turning to look at me before heading up the stairs.

I nod.

"It really will be."

And he goes, step by step, further and further. Until the study door creaks open and shuts. And I'm left alone, hoping that everything will turn out okay.

Not ready, but hopefully, I can learn to be.


	46. Chapter 46

The first thirty minutes went by quickly. I went about my business, tidying the kitchen and washing dirty dishes. I did any monotonous task to make the time pass by. But by the time it got to the hour, I was petrified. They weren't making any noise, I had no idea what was happening.

We didn't make up a plan about what to do when there weren't any sounds coming from the room...

I went up the stairs nervously, quietly, one step then another. As I laid eyes on the wooden door of the study, I stared at it blankly. I was unsure whether I should approach it....they could come out at any moment. But I did, I pressed my ear to the door and heard low murmurs. I couldn't make them out though, but it sounded calm.

As opposed to the last time they had confronted each other it was incredibly calm.

But what of it? What has possessed dad to become civilized all of a sudden?

"I'm glad we could reach an agreement." I hear dad's voice getting louder, indicating the end of the conversation, and quickly slide on the wooden floor back to my room.

In the darkness I open the door just a crack to listen.

Niall's voice reverberates in the hallway as they step out of the study, "Whatever, Harry. Let's be done with it already."

Be done with it?

They head to the stairs, their shoes making the floorboards creak with every step.

"Thank you." I hear dad say as they reach the bottom of the staircase. "For understanding..."

I slip out once more, hiding behind a wall by the staircase.

"You know I would do anything for her." Niall says in a firm voice.

Dad clears his throat, "Yes, well, I can see that."

"Guess you can."

Silence, I could looking awkwardly away from each other.

"Are we done here?" Niall asks, clearly annoyed.

"Yeah...yeah, of course."

As the door slams behind Niall, I felt an uneasy wave pass through my body.

Let's be done with it already.

I could hear his voice repeating the same phrase, accented with anger, over and over. But it didn't make sense to me.Be done with what? What did he want to be done with?

–❈–

By noon the next day, I began to worry. I had been worried all night, all morning, barely sleeping at all...but when noon hit, I knew something was off.

I had texted Niall twice with no response back yet. He never took this long to reply, he never left me hanging.

"Good morning, Emma."

I look up to see dad cheerfully walking into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a carton of orange juice.

"Morning."

"How are you?" He says grabbing a glass and pouring his fill of the drink.

"Fine."

He nods, capping the carton once more and placing it back in the fridge.

"Is Ollie up?" He asks, sipping on his glass and trying to make eye contact.

I hop off my stool and head towards my room, not bothering to turn back as I reply, "He's not up yet. He should be in a few hours."

Whatever dad was playing at, I did not like it. I did not like it one bit. I preferred the angry, screaming, and emotional dad. At least I knew what was coming. Dad has always been someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, easy to figure out, easy to see through. Dad was as transparent as they came. But this, this I didn't know how to decipher. How could he so suddenly be so utterly calm?

I look at my phone, deciding that if in five minutes Niall doesn't call, text, or make any type of move to inform me that he is indeed alive and well, I was going to use the phone. I hadn't used that phone...since the day Niall had gotten married.

Oh, the old fashioned corded rotary phone.

As I turn to look at it, I feel a pang of pain in my stomach, remembering when Niall had bought it for me. At first I had been amazed by the fact that I had my very own phone, that it was suited for a princess. It was a shade of light pink and most certainly girly. I was astounded by the fact that it had the rotary dial. I was so taken by the very phone, that I didn't realize what the gift had meant.

It was so bloody long ago, I must have been nine or ten at the time, but I remember it so vividly. The box that it had come in, the look on his face as he tried to convince me that the space between us would only be temporary. Even the unevenness of his voice as he tried to convince me that it would be okay, that he would always be there for me.

"Princess, whenever you need me. Day or night, I will answer your call. That I promise you. I love you, Ems, don't forget that."

The first time it was only a year. One year. He had left and come back, he had promised he would never leave again. To a ten year old...that promise means the world. The bloody world.

But he did. He leaves again when I turn thirteen. When he leaves again this time...he doesn't come back.

And I could remember the pieces of my world falling apart around the empty space he had left.

But the only comfort, the only shred of hope he gave me was on the day of his wedding,

"I love you Emma, I promise you, one day I'll make it up to you. One day I'll be back for you. But you know I'm here for you, love. I always will be. Always, princess, always."

It's been ten years since I got the bloody phone, ten. Ten years in which he has picked up the other end without a moment's hesitation.

Whenever I have needed him he has been there.

Mending the broken promises he couldn't fulfill. Reassuring me that the love he had for me would never fade. That he would always be there, even if it was a hundred or a thousand miles away.

I try to repeat this to myself as I go to reach for the phone. The plastic was cold underneath my touch, and I could not seem to refrain from shaking as I used the rotary dial to call the only number this phone has ever reached.

I press the phone to my ear, my heart beating wildly in my chest, my stomach churning in knots. I could feel my head spinning, my head throbbing.

But there was no ring, only an automated voice answered now, mockingly stating, "The number you have dialed has been disconnected."

And then there was silence. I couldn't seem to lower the phone, I could feel my mouth making an 'o' shape.

There was only dead silence on the other line.

Dead. Silence.


	47. Chapter 47

I knew that it was happening. For the third time, it was happening. I didn't need any affirmation other than that first missed call. That first dead silence.

But still, something within me wouldn't accept the fact. Maybe I had dialed the number wrong? I put down the phone. I redial, the rotary clicking with every feverish motion. The same response. I tried it again.

Yet, again and again, the robotic voice taunts me, "The number you have reached has been disconnected."

It is not until the twenty fifth time that I dial the same number that I realize...

He's gone.

There is no other explanation...There really is no other affirmation needed.

He's gone.

–❈–

It only takes a matter of seconds. My heart starts to palpitate, so loudly I could hear it in my ears. My chest tightens, my temples throb. My eyes water, tears running down my face. I try to speak out, to say anything, but all I could feel was a weight upon my chest that wouldn't allow me to speak. I was being crushed by the weight of his absence. My whole body shook, and as I tried once more to say anything, all I could do was gasp for air, hiccup for oxygen.

There was a knock at my door, a light rap.

"Emmie? What's going- Emmie!"

Ollie runs to my side, his eyes widened in fear, "Emmie what's wrong?"

"I—" I try so hard to speak, to say anything, but my breath is shaky, my brain struggling to form the words.

"DAD!" Ollie runs frantically out of my room, screaming down the hallway "DAD! DAD! SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH EMMIE!"

There were the sounds of feet hitting the wooden floor roughly, the creaks indicating how they were racing to come to me.

"Emma? Baby?" Dad tries, approaching me.

My motor skills stop functioning, robbing my brain of any and all control of my body. I try to get away from dad, away from his touch. And as he approaches, I manage to scream out in a single breath "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Dad looks at me, eyes widened and hand still extended towards me. Ollie looks at both of us, tears gathering in his eyes.

I try to breathe in and out, my heavy breaths finally starting to my lungs feel normal.

"Emma." Dad kneels before me, resting a hand next to me upon my bed, "What is going on, baby. What's wrong."

I take one more big breath, praying that my voice doesn't fail me and respond, "He's gone."

A flash of remorse spreads across dad's face, but it disappears almost immediately, "Who's gone?"

Hot anger rises up within me, bubbling over and I can feel it, red flashes before me, my voice screams, "YOU KNOW BLOODY WELL WHO!" I take three deep breaths, "YOU DID THIS!"

"Emma." Dad stands up and puts his hands on my shoulders, trying to stop me from shaking.

I push him off of me, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Baby, you need to calm down." Dad says in an even voice.

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS THEN."

"Dad? Who's gone?" Ollie asks in a whisper.

Dad doesn't look at Ollie, he continues looking at me. He has the nerve to say, "Who are you talking about, Emma? Who is gone?"

"YOU KNOW WHO! NIALL! NIALL IS GONE!"

And there it was, the look of recognition on his face. There was no shock, no surprise whatsoever. He knew.

"Ollie, put the kettle on."

"But—"

"Go, Ollie. I can handle this, okay?"

Ollie nods, running out of my room and rushing down the stairs.

"I need you to calm down, baby."

I don't reply. I don't have it in me to do so. My chest was heaving, my lungs not able to keep up with the amount of oxygen I needed.

"Emma, you're having a panic attack. Please. Just calm down." His hand goes over mine, trying to reassure me, to keep me safe. But all I feel is disgust.

I slip my hand away from under his, he looks at me sadly, "Ems, I don't know where he is."

"Liar." I whisper with the little amount of strength I had managed to recover.

"Baby, I'm not lying."

"I'm...not...stupid." I take a deep breath, "You don't...want...him here."

"Emma. I didn't make him leave."

"But he did...didn't...he." I say, looking at him head on.

"I don't know, baby. I don't know if he left or not."

"Yes...you do."

"No, Emma. I don't."

I look up to see Ollie standing at the doorway, unsure of what to do with himself.

"Dad?" He says, leaning against the wooden frame, "The kettle is whistling."

"Okay." Dad says getting up and looking at me, "I'll be right back."

"Don't...bother."

As dad leaves the room, Ollie comes in cautiously approaching me. He climbs up upon my bed and wraps me in his arms, "Please be okay, Emmie. He'll come back."

I heave for air, desperately I breathe in and out.

I could feel Ollie rubbing my back, "Please, be strong, like you always are. I don't like this Emmie."

"He's gone." I mutter pathetically.

"He'll be back, Emmie. He'll be back."

–❈–

I awaken in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. A sliver of light was coming from the hallway into my room. I could hear dad on the phone, muttering fervently.

"Mum, please just put Edie on the phone. Yes...yes mum I know I've been a proper arse....yes...MUM! I know, alright!? This is important! For the love of God, please just put my wife on the phone."

I turn to look at the clock, 8:45. It wasn't too late, but it felt as if I had slept for days, not mere hours.

"Edie? Yeah. Look, we've got a situation. I know you're mad, and I know I've been a proper twat, but love, I need you. What happened? I fucked up Edie, I fucked this whole mess up and I've no idea how to fix it. No...I just. Yes, yes I did."

I turn over in bed, trying to decipher how I had fallen asleep. How I had gotten under the covers.

"Please, yes. You will? Thank you. Thank you, love. I love you."

I hear dad approaching my door, and I feign sleep. The door opens slightly, his head popping in to check up on me. As soon as he leaves, I sigh quietly.

I didn't know what to make of dad. I didn't know what to do. There was a crushing weight upon my chest, that no matter how hard I tried to lift it, it just wouldn't budge.

As soon as imagined Niall's face, his voice, his fingertips upon my side, an audible sob escaped my lips. 

He had promised. He had bloody promised he wouldn't leave.

Yet, he's gone.

Gone, gone, gone.


	48. Chapter 48

"Emma?"

My head throbs as I slowly open my eyes. Disoriented by the bright light, the sudden noise, I look up to see mum had finally come home.

"Mum?"

"Hi, baby."

I sit up and hug her to me, tears coming almost instantly. I can tell she's taken aback, that she's a bit out of her depth. They're not used to me acting this way. To me being this weak and fragile.

"Emma, what's going on, baby." She whispers in my ear. Teardrops start to fall, being absorbed by her thin cotton shirt.

"He's gone mum...He's gone." I try to speak, my sobs making it increasingly difficult, "Dad made him leave."

"Ems." She says stroking my back in light circles, trying to calm me.

"What?"

"Baby, since when do you cry? Since when do you just sit here and weep?"

"Mum."

"If he's gone, you go find him."

I pull back from her and furrow my brow, a hiccup escaping as I manage to say, "What?"

"Emma. Find him. Bring him back."

"Mum, how am I possibly going to find him? He won't even answer his phone, how could I know where he is?"

"Then look. Look for him."

"Dad really doesn't know? Isn't it dad's fault that he's gone in the first place?" I say, wiping at the drying streaks upon my tired face.

Mum shakes her head sadly, "I know it's hard to believe, but he really doesn't. He didn't tell Niall to go away, Emma. He didn't tell him to leave."

"What did he say to him then?"

She looks away suddenly, refusing to make eye contact with me, "That's something you and your dad need to talk about."

"Mum...I couldn't."

"Emma. I know that your dad's been wrong about of lot of things, he truly has. He knows that, baby. He has only meant well, as terrible and misguided as those actions may have seemed. He would never want you to be hurting like this. It breaks his heart to see you this way."

"But...then why would he try to break me and Niall up?"

"Really, Emma? Why? Perhaps because he was worried about his baby girl being hurt by a man who is his age. It's not a weird concept to understand. And yes, I know. I know Niall is a good man, I know he would never do wrong by you, but he betrayed our trust, Ems. We have a right to be ticked off too."

"I know."

"Your dad loves you, Emma. Don't think he's the enemy. He's just very bad at executing plans that he believes will result in happy endings."

"What possible happy ending could come out of this situation?"

"You're never going to know if you just sit here and wait." I sigh loudly, but she continues, "I want you to be happy." She tilts my chin towards her, smiling lightly. "I don't like this mopey, depressed, Emma. I want my old Emma back."

"Yeah?" I say trying not to cry again.

"So how about it?" I nod. "Go get him, Ems. Go bring him back."

–❈–

After getting showered, dressed, and finally not feeling as if I would burst into tears at any mention of him, I pack a bag and head downstairs. I am surprised to see dad already sitting at the island, with a glass in front of him. I pass try by him, ready to go to the car and leave, but he grabs my arm lightly, "Emma, wait."

"Yes?"

"Can we have a chat?"

"Am I going to end up mysteriously disappearing after said chat?"

"Emma." He asks pleadingly.

I oblige and sit down in front of him, my stomach already in knots.

"Look I know that you're planning to go look for Niall—"

"So you want to stop me?"

"Let me finish, darling." He says in his typical, slow drawl. He clears his throat before continuing, "Emma. I know you think that the whole world is against you and Niall being together. That everyone is trying to keep you apart—"

"Dad, I could care less about the rest of the world. All I cared about was you and mom. That was it. And you let me down." My voice quivers, but I continue anyways, "I know that what we've done isn't right. That we went about this the wrong way. But it's love dad. I love him. I thought you, more than anyone would understand that."

He looks at me for a moment in silence. His face expressionless, only changing when he says,"Go find him."

"What?"

"I know that I've been an arse about this. That perhaps my intentions were misconstrued by my idiotic actions. But, Emma, I love you. I want you to be happy. And I...I don't want to stand in the way of it. If you love Niall, then find him. Be with him. Love him. But for the love of God, be happy. That's all I've ever wanted."

Tears are streaming down my face, my heart slowly being filled, realizing that the space between us was finally narrowing. "Dad...Why did you tell him to leave?"

"I didn't...Emma...I told him that if he wanted to be with you, that he had to prove that he loved you."

"That doesn't make any sense." I say shaking my head. "Why was he so angry that night?"

"He was angry that I had reiterated the pros and cons of your relationship. Emma, you know what's at stake. You've seen how much this family has been torn apart, how much your life has changed because of this. He was angry because he was hearing the truth, seeing it before him for the first time."

"Yeah."

"Do you still not see it Emma? Don't you get it, baby? He left for you. He sacrificed himself so you could have your life back. He left because he wanted you to be happy. He didn't want us to fight. He didn't want your life to be turned upside down. He wanted you to have the same, peaceful life you did before he came back."

"So you told him to leave to prove that he loves me?"

"The only thing I told him was to prove himself. I didn't say how. I most certainly didn't tell him to leave."

"Dad."

"I know that it's hard to believe, Emma. But I am on your side. I am always rooting for you. I just...I need to do my job as a parent and make sure that the person that is receiving your heart, is worthy of it. I want to make sure they love you, that you are their world. I need to make sure that you'll be happy. And I know I went about it a terrible way. I'm sorry." He reaches across the table, grabbing my hand in his and intertwining our fingers.

I look down at our intertwined hands and say, "Do you know where he is?"

He shakes his head, "No."

"Do you think I'll be able to find him?"

"I do."

"You're going to let me go find him, dad? You're really pushing me to do this?"

Dad pulls out a box from the pocket of his sweater, placing it on the table for me to grab it.

As I open it, I could feel my eyes widen as I saw two silver paper planes in the box, "Aren't these...?"

"I think it's time for you to fly, baby girl. It's time for you to meet your destiny."

"Why both of them?" I ask, my voice on the edge of completely giving out.

"He taught you how to fly, Emma. How could you both soar without each other?"

Tears fall down my cheeks freely, and I struggle to find the words to say to dad. I am speechlessly looking at him, as his own eyes start to water.

"I don't want you both to end up in separate directions like your mother and I." His hand squeezes around my own, "Find him."

I nod, putting on one of the necklaces and holding the charm between my fingertips.

"I love you, Emma."

"I love you too, dad."

He looks at the charm around my neck and the one in the box, pensively stating "Paper planes represent distance, how far they can fly, how high they can soar, but they show how easily they glide through the air back to each other. It's inevitable. The two planes will eventually find each other again."

"Just as these two did?" I ask looking at the one in the box.

"Just as you two will."

I get up from my stool, going around the island and hugging dad, "I'm sorry for being a brat."

"I'm sorry for being an arse." He says whispering into my ear.

I pull back and look at him, the same mossy eyes and disheveled curls that I had been looking at since before I could remember.

He smiles, breaking eye contact and grabs my pack off the table, placing the box with the remaining plane in it.

"What are you waiting for? Go get him."

I smile, knowing that somehow, I had to find him.


	49. Chapter 49

I open my pack once more, making sure that everything is in it. Dad hovers around me asking random things such as, "First-aid kit?" and "Cell phone charger?"

I turn to look at him, "Dad, I have everything."

"Credit cards? Spare money?"

"Dad."

"What about the keys?"

"To my car?"

"No, to mine." He pulls out the keys to his SUV and hands them to me.

"Dad, I can't take your car."

"Baby, as much as you may love your car, I don't want you taking a road trip in it. I'd much rather you take mine."

"Are you sure?"

He take my keys from my hand and loops them around his finger, "I have no qualms in driving a vintage yellow Volkswagen for a while."

"Dad, you don't have to do this. I know you're sorry."

"I want to, Emma."

I smile at him, closing up my pack and turning to head out.

"What about a change of clothes!?"

"Dad! I have everything!"

"And—" But he's cut off before he can continue by the ring of the doorbell.

As I run to the door, I can't help but hope that maybe he's come back. But what I find Janice leaning against the door frame with her keys in hand.

"Jan? How did you...?"

"Your mum called." She says with a smile.

"You're coming with me?"

She rolls her eyes, "Obviously, Ems."

I smile, leaping forward and hugging her to me, "Alright. But..."

"But?"

I take the keys out of my pocket and wave them in front of her, "We're taking dad's car."

–❈–

It felt as if it had been forever since I had been by my best friends side. It was almost an instant calm that washed over me as she drove down the familiar road to Niall's house.

"Should we be even checking his house? If you say he's gone don't you think he'd have gone to a place no one would find him?" And then that calm washed away as soon as she spoke.

"Maybe he wants us to find him." I reply, staring straight ahead and counting the moments til we would finally reach his house.

"I think you're giving him a little too much credit."

"Jan..."

"Ems, I know you think this is some terribly cliched, romantic coming of age novel you're living in, but to be honest, I think he's just laying low for a while and was planning to return when everything settled down."

"Janice, you do realize that Niall is the cliche of all romantic cliches. You want to figure out where he is? He is most likely where we would never find him."

"Alright, well, if we can't find him...then what's this whole trip for?"

"He has to have left us a clue...."

"A clue?" She says in disbelief, "A bloody clue? Really?"

"Look, I didn't ask you to come along..."

She grumbles, "Fine, we'll stop by his house first. But if we don't find any clues, what's your plan?"

"There will be clues."

"Emma."

"I mean it Jan, there will be clues."

"How do you even know that?"

"He was just waiting til I was ready. That's why he left."

"Ready for what?"

I smile to myself, "Ready to run."

–❈–

We arrive at Niall's house to find the gate locked and his car gone. Janice simply turns to look at me with a condescending look, "Was this a part of his plan too?"

"Don't start Janice."

"Ems, we can't just spend days on end, hoping he left some clues for us to find him. Be real, Emma. Where do you think he'd have gone?"

I try to think of all the places we went together, all the places that I could ever associate with him. And the only one that seemed to be plausible at the moment was "Ireland."

"Now we're talking." Janice says sticking the key in the ignition and smiling at me.

"We're going to drive all the way to Ireland? On a hunch?"

"We drove here on a hunch." She says sarcastically.

I sigh, before saying, "Can we at least get out of the car and check around the gate?"

"Ems, what could he have possibly left around the gate?"

"Can I please just check?" I whine.

She turns the car off again, "Fine! Go!"

I get out of the car, my legs already shaking nervously. I grab onto the paper plane charm that rests upon my collarbone, hoping it would calm me. Either I know Niall like the palm of my hand, or I truly know nothing about him. He wouldn't have left without knowing that I could find my way back to him when I was ready, would he?

I approach the gate, my eyes looking around the premises before seeing that there was of course the bloody mailbox.

"No way." I whisper to myself, already imagining it.

As I approach it and open the iron box upon the brick wall, I feel a light paper in the slot. I pull it out to see a map of England with Manchester circled and the numbers 218 next to it.

The horn honks loudly as Janice yells, "Let's go."

I jump from the sudden sound, but find myself more shaken by the fact that I had been right.

Manchester, 218.

Our room in the little inn right outside of Manchester.

I walk back to the car, Janice looking at the map in my hands, "No fucking way..." she mutters, lowering her sunglasses and looking at me. I hand her the thin map and she looks at it for a few seconds before turning to look at me, "What should we name it?"

"What?"

"Your terribly cliched romantic novel."

We both laugh out loud.

"Well little miss." Janice says turning the key in the ignition. "Where are we going?"

"Manchester."

"Five hour drive or so?"

"About."

She flips her sunglasses on once more before pulling out from the gate, "Let's get to it then."


	50. Chapter 50

"So am I going to get an explanation as to what this means, or are you just going to keep it to yourself?"

Janice asks as she drives on a relatively empty road. She waves around the map, laughingly.

"Well, if I give it away, I won't have much to put in a novel will I?"

"Are you really considering that?"

"Why not? I'm a good writer...right?"

She places her hand upon mine, keeping the other steady on the wheel, "I've only been waiting for this moment for the past five years."

"Five?"

"Emma, you realize you have shelves upon shelves of lined journals, a father who is quite possibly one of the geniuses of his time, and a way with words that leave people astounded....if you would let them read your writing."

"Baby steps." I mutter. "And how did you know about the journals?"

"You're always writing in the bloody things, I can see them on your top shelves."

I sigh, "Anyways..."

"Anyways?"

"Do you think we'll find him?"

"Ems, didn't you just five me a speech about the bloody clues?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But?"

"What if the clues get harder? What if I get stuck?"

"I'm pretty sure he'll be in Ireland, Ems. If anything else we have one other option..."

"And what would that be?"

"We could just look in every pub in the country."

I lean over and smack her arm, she simply laughs in response.

As soon as the laughter dies down though, she clears her throat and asks, "Do you really love him, Ems?"

"More than anything in the world, Jan."

"That's so fucking scary."

"Fucking right it is."

We both chuckle, but she continues, "We're going to find him."

"Yeah?"

"Of course we are. I don't think he'll be able to live the rest of his life without you."

"That goes both ways."

I could feel her eye on me, as she asks, "Ems...did you two..."

Oh, I forgot to tell Janice.

"Yeah...yeah we did."

She breaks, and I silently thank God that there was no one behind us.

"And you didn't tell me!?"

"Um, it's much worse than you think."

"Was it that bad? Was he not as great as you think?"

"Jan!"

"Well what is it then?"

I look up ahead of us and see there's a town coming up, "Why don't we stop for a bit and I can tell you what's happened."

–❈–

"How did I manage to miss all of that?" Janice says stirring her coffee with a small silver spoon.

"It happened unbelievably fast." I mutter, looking past her out the window. The sun was setting quickly, and we were still an hour away from Manchester.

"But still. God, Ems. I don't blame your dad."

"I don't either. At least..." Now I didn't. I get it. I get that he had to protect me, but really, wasn't there any other way to go about it?

"He could have gone about it a bit better though..."

I smile, Janice was always able to say what I was thinking.

"And you and Niall, huh. So much for waiting."

"It felt right."

"I bet it did."

She smirks at me as I roll my eyes, "Real mature Janice."

"No but really, I'm happy for you." She takes a sip from the pristine mug and turns around to look out the window as well, "Do you want to take over the driving? We're only an hour away."

"You know I don't like to drive." I mutter.

"I drove this whole day, I deserve a break don't I?"

"Yeah, yeah." I say taking the keys off the table.

"So...where is that we're going?"

"A little inn."

"For the night?"

"Well, I suppose we do need somewhere to sleep."

"Wait, is that where Niall sent you?"

I nod and she widens her eyes, "Wait, is that where you two spent the night?"

"Yeah."

"God, he is a bloody cliche." She laughs out loud.

"Alright, enough." I get up from my seat, the metal clanging against the floor, and look at her, "Let's go."

–❈–

I am a nervous wreck as I start the car, already hyper aware of how fast I have to go, where my feet are positioned and if the mirrors are adjusted correctly.

"Ems, for the love of God."

"Shhh." I quiet her, trying to calm myself down.

It was really a stupid thing I had about driving. While I could easily drive around town, although still a bit shaken, I could not find myself able to drive long distances. Dad had bought me my yellow buggie in hopes that I would attempt to drive it, but it usually resides in the garage as I go on foot to wherever I need to be.

"Do you want me to drive?" She says in an exasperated tone.

"No, I have to get used to it eventually."

She looks at me through her thick eyelashes and smiles, "For Niall, you really would do anything wouldn't you. Even drive an hour, knowing you bloody well haven't driven more than fifteen minutes at a time?"

"I can do it."

"I'm not saying you can't. I just think..."

"Hmm?"

"Love is a really funny thing."

"How so?"

"It's crazy how much you've changed, Ems. And honestly, I think it's the love that's done it."

I smile, "I know."

"How much do you think I'll change when I fall in love?"

I laugh, "Hopefully a lot."

"Are you saying you don't like me the way I am?" She says feigning disappointment.

"Not at all." I grab her hand in mine and smile, "But love allows us to grow into our best versions of ourselves, you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because if it's true love. If it's really, really love. Then that other person will already see you as the best person you can be. They believe you are already the sun and the stars and the moon. They believe that you are already the best possible version of yourself, and they give you the strength to see that beauty and light within yourself. They push you to be the ultimate person you can be."

Janice shakes her head, tightly grasping her hand in mine, "Jeez Emma."

"What?"

"Either you're going to be one hell of a writer, or you're going to be the bloody cheesiest person that roams the Earth. Second of course, to Niall."

We both laugh out loud, our hands still firmly grasping each others. I let go, only when I'm finally ready.

"Alright. I think I can do this."

"Funny, I know you can do this."

I roll my eyes, "Who's the cheesy one now?"

"It grows on you though."

I start the car, trying not to think about anything other than the fact that we were close. We were closer than before, with a clue that could possibly lead us straight to him. Could it be that easy? I sincerely doubted it, but I know one thing.

The road to him, is one that I am most certainly now ready to travel. Not because of everything that's happened, not because dad's forgiven me and things seem to finally be falling into place, but because I am ready to run to him. I am ready to be the girl he knows I am. I am ready.

And I am never turning back.


	51. Chapter 51

As I drive, the sun sets, leaving only the headlights to illuminate the dark road. Janice had fallen asleep about twenty minutes ago, leaving the car silent.

Nervous as I may have been to drive, I found myself at peacemaking my away to the little inn. As the stars began to appear in the dark sky, and the road became emptier and emptier, I found my heart starting to palpitate loudly. My stomach was in knots.

And no, it wasn't because of the driving.

Niall had left for so long before, he had left me before. But never have I gone after him. Never have I had the courage, the will, or the strength to go after him. I always waited for him to come to me. I waited for everything to neatly fall back into place, without me ever having to do anything. I never thought I would have to do anything, I would leave my life entirely up to fate. And never would I have thought I would change. Never would I have thought that I would be driving down a dark road, counting the miles til I would see him again. Never would I have thought that one day, one day I would run after him. That one day I would be the one the close the distance between us. That one day I would be ready to run after my fate, to be ready to change it.

This road is not only leading me to him, but showing me that I have to take control over my life. I had to be ready to go after what I wanted.

But more importantly, I had to let Niall know that I was finally ready to run.

–❈–

By the time we arrive at the Inn at Manchester, Janice is snoring lightly. She has yet to come to, and quite honestly, knowing her sleeping habits, I knew it would be a struggle to wake her up.

"Jan?" I try softly, trying not to startle her. I lightly tap her shoulder, she merely shifts a bit in her sleep and rests her head against the glass. "Jan?" I say a bit louder. She doesn't move and I roll my eyes.

I knew I would have to startle her, even though I didn't particularly want to.

I tap her shoulder a bit harder only to receive a small grunt. When I tap her harder, almost making her entire shoulder shake, she opens her eyes in a startle. 

"What!?" She exclaims in a rather sleepy voice.

"We're here." I say pointing to the inn before us.

She yawns loudly and looks around, "So you made it all the way out here."

"No thanks to you."

"I was tired!"

"So was I! And I had no one to keep me company."

"Well, we're here now." She says as she stretches and yawns, "Are we getting out or what?"

"Yeah." My voice quivers in one single syllable. I was amazed at how unable I was to keep my cool.

"Ems, it'll be okay." She says starting to open the passenger door.

"Yeah." I try to say a bit more convincingly.

"You're not fooling anyone." She mutters as she closes the door.

I climb out of my own seat and lock the car, walking around and staring at Janice as she smiles at me. "Stop worrying. It. Will. Be. Fine."

"Why are you so sure about this?"

"Because you need someone to tell you that what you know is true, is actually true."

I smirk, "I know this to be true?"

"Would you be out here if it wasn't?" Janice starts to walk towards the entrance, leaving me behind with her words still floating around me.

I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure, would I? Could it just be I was scaring myself for no reason?

"Ems, come on!"

"Coming!"

–❈–

"What do you mean room 218 is occupied!?"

The girl across the glossy ceramic reception desk looks at me, clearly uninterested, "Precisely what I said." She takes a breath before continuing, "That room is taken." She lays her thin fingers upon the glitter surface and lets her long lacquered nails clack against it, "I can offer you another, but not..." She sighs, "That one."

"I need that one." I try to argue.

"There isn't anything I can do." She says running a hand through her short wavy brunette hair, clearly done with the conversation and with me.

"Look." Janice says pushing me aside and smilingly a sickeningly sweet smile at the girl, "Could you at least let us know if you found anything in the room while it was being cleaned? Or if anyone left anything for that room?"

The girl rolls her eyes, "One second." She turns around and gets on the phone, muttering something, and finally turns back to say in a tone dripping with boredom, "Someone that can help you will be right down."

The girl sways her hips dramatically as she steps out from behind the counter and walks down one of the corridors.

"What a twat." Janice mutters when the girl is far enough that she wouldn't hear us.

"Seriously."

We both turn to lean against the counter and sigh simultaneously. Janice huffs before asking, "Do you think this was a part of his plan?"

"I don't think it was..."

Janice twirls a lock of her hair around her finger, studying it, "Then...what do we do if it wasn't?"

"I don't-"

But before I can answer I'm cut off by a soothing voice, "Hello, girls. Welcome." A tall woman with flowing caramel colored locks says as she approaches us.

"Hi." I say, studying her face. She looked familiar.

"Welcome to the Inn at Manchester. Lexi tells me you had a question?" She says extending a delicate looking hand towards me.

I nod and take her hand, "Yes, well. I know this is going to sound strange but...I think there's something for me in room 218."

"Is there now?" She asks.

"Yes, but the problem is that the room was occupied, so as we kindly asked Lexi, we just wanted to know if anything was left for me under that room number."

"Room 218 you say?" The woman goes behind the counter, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear and revealing a diamond stud. She clicks away at the keyboard, smiling to herself. "Well, you see, the problem is we weren't expect your for quite a while, Emma."

"What?"

"You are Emma right?"

"Yes..."

"I'm Zoe." She says with a wide, toothy smile.

"Oh! You're Auntie Sophia's sister."

"Yes."

"But wait...what do you mean you weren't expecting me for a few more days?"


	52. Chapter 52

Zoe looks at me with her trusting honey-colored eyes and smiles, "Emma, we weren't expecting you to get here for at least a week."

"Who is we?"

She smirks, "Niall."

"Niall?"

"Obviously you've put two and two together?"

"Yeah...um..." I look away from her and she smiles sweetly.

"Emma, you're on a scavenger hunt."

"So cliche." Janice mutters.

"I'd agree with you there, love." Zoe says chuckling at Janice's remark. "But, you have to admit, it's pretty bloody romantic."

We all nod simultaneously.

Zoe clears her throat and continues, "Well...there was supposed to be something in the room, but I was told you wouldn't be coming for at least a week or two. Niall said we shouldn't really be expecting you that soon."

"Really?"

She nods, "That's why it's rented already. I have it blocked out for the next three months after this couple leaves."

"Three months?"

"Well, he didn't know when to expect you..."

'Or if he should...' I think silently to myself.

"Can you do me a favor, Zoe?"

"Of course." She nods solemnly.

"Can you not tell Niall that I was here already?"

"You want to have the element of surprise still, love?"

I nod and she chuckles, "Oh, goodness. This is going to be fun to watch play out."

"You're telling me." Janice says with a smile.

"So..." I start.

"Oh, yes, yes, of course!" Zoe says turning around and going into the drawers behind her. She shuffles through them loudly, before pulling out a large yellow manila envelope. "I believe this is yours."

I could feel my hands shaking as she places the envelope in my hands. I look at it wearily, I could feel Janice's stare on me before she even says, "Open it already!"

I tear the envelope open, seeing that there is merely a key inside. One it, there is a single thin key chain that reads "Luck of the Irish"

"Fucking shit, we're going to Ireland aren't we?" Janice says in a huff.

"Is it really that easy?" I say looking up at Zoe, "It's just as easy as going to his house?"

"I think that the first step, maybe the hardest, was just looking for him wasn't it? You know, the whole, 'Should I run after him, or wait til he comes back?'" Janice says looking at me.

"Yeah."

"And maybe he wanted you to find him as quickly as possible. Maybe he didn't know your dad would forgive him, maybe he thought you were running away so he had to make sure he could cover his tracks...maybe he made it so easy so that you could find him, but no one else could..."

"You're right."

Zoe simply looks at us and smiles, "I would suppose that a five hour drive to Mullingar is the last thing either of you want to do tonight."

"Actually..." I say looking at Janice, "It's not that late..."

Janice looks at me, wide eyed, "Are you out of your bloody mind!? It's nearly nine! I'm not going back on the road!"

"But..." I pout.

"He doesn't even know you're coming, I think we can afford to stay a night."

"I'll drive. You can sleep." I try.

"Emma, you're not driving."

"But."

"We have to take a ferry to get to Mullingar. In fact, it might even be faster to take a plane, wouldn't it?"

Zoe nods, "Yes it would. Could even book the flight tonight couldn't you?"

"See this is a reasonable woman." Janice says raising her hand and pointing at Zoe. "Why don't we rest and look up a flight we can take?"

"Because we could make it by morning..."

"Darling," Zoe says, looking as if she's worried she'd intruding, "The ferry from Manchester to Mullinger only leaves once a day."

"We need to take the ferry to make it over, wouldn't we?" I say wearily.

"That is correct."

"So," Janice says, taking the envelope from my hand and turning to look at Zoe "I know 218 is out of the question, but you do have another room open don't you?"

Zoe nods, "For you two, of course I do." She shuffles through a drawer and pulls out a set of keys, but before setting them in Janice's hands she smilingly asks, "You haven't eaten yet, have you?"

–❈–

After eating a delicious, home cooked meal, prepared by Zoe herself, we find ourselves in room 121. As I was getting ready to shower, Janice was looking up ways to go to Mullingar. Luckily enough, I had brought my laptop.

"Okay, but if we fly, we still would have to take a train. And do we have anywhere we can leave the car?" Janice squeezes the excess water out of her dark hair with a towel.

"No...and I don't want to leave dad's car just lying around..." I reply walking over and looking at the bright screen.

"Should we just take the ferry and drive to Mullingar?" She asks, not bothering to turn around and look at me. She simply continues looking at maps.

"It would be better wouldn't it?"

"Okay, well, the ferry leaves at noon." She says looking at an informational site. She switches tabs and looks at the approximate time it would take. "We have to leave at like...nine-thirty? Better safe than sorry, no?"

"It takes two hours just to drive to the ferry?"

"And you wanted to do it all in one night..." She says looking away from the computer and looking up at me.

"Can you blame me?"

She laughs, "Of course not."

I pick up my phone and decide to check in with dad before going off to the loo. I lift a finger to my lips in Janice's direction and she nods, going back to the computer screen.

"Ello?" Asks a thick, raspy voice that could only belong to one person.

"Hi, dad."

"Hi, baby! How is everything? Where are you? Are you okay? You did stop for the night right?" It was one question right after the other, and quite honestly it almost felt like he hadn't taken a breath between any of them.

"Dad, settle down. I'm okay."

"Did you find him?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. But I will."

"How...how will you find him?"

"I have my ways." I respond, walking over to the yellow envelope and tracing the key chain and key Janice had placed upon it.

He chuckles, "Alright. Well, you did at least stop for the night, right?"

"Yeah, we're at the inn Auntie Sophia's sister owns."

"Oh, did you finally see Zoe?"

"Yeah."

"She's mighty nice, isn't she?"

"Incredibly."

Dad sighs loudly, "Do you know where you're going to find him?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"It might jinx it." I say with a chuckle.

"Alright. Just...just let me know you're safe alright?

"I'm safe, dad. I'm okay."

"Good luck, baby girl."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

I know that dad isn't okay with this. In a way, yes, he wants me to be happy. He wants me to be in love and for the person whom I love, to love me even more so than he even could. But, I don't know. Honestly, even though dad may have forgiven me, even though dad had indeed managed to see that Niall does love me, could we all ever go back to being a family? Not like just a real proper relationship where everything is curt and to the point, but an actual relationship. Like the one we all used to have?

Could they ever be friends again?

"Ems, I can hear you thinking from across the room. Just go take your shower."

I look up to see Janice busily typing away, not even bothering to look up at me.

"Yeah, I'm going."

Tomorrow night, hopefully, we'll be in Mullingar. I just have to focus on one obstacle at a time.


	53. Chapter 53

I toss and turn. No, it wasn't something new. Sleep hasn't come easily for a few nights now, and I didn't really expect today to be any different.

There was moonlight coming in through the slightly opened blinds, and it instantly brought me back to that night with Niall. How the moonlight shown in his eyes, how it danced across the sheets. I missed him more than anything at this moment. I know that reuniting with him will bring me sleep, peace, tranquility.

I just need him here...

"Ems, are you still awake?" Janice whispers from her petite twin bed aside mine.

"Yeah." I whisper, obviously startled out of thought.

"You can't sleep either?" She turns to look at me, furrowing her brow at my sudden jump and widened eyes,"What, were you lost in thought?"

"Uhuh."

"Niall?"

"Yeah."

"Is that why you can't sleep?"

"Yeah, but I'm used to it."

"You haven't been sleeping well?"

"Is it really that surprising?"

"Well, no. It's not."

"Why aren't you asleep?" I say turning to face her.

She props herself up on an elbow, and faces me as well, "I don't know. Something about this has me all stirred up."

"What do you mean?"

"You're living a bloody romance novel, and all I am is your sidekick. I want some love too." She sighs.

I climb out of my bed, pushing sheets aside, and take two steps towards Janice's bed. She smiles as I get into the small bed with her, wrapping her in my arms.

"I love you, isn't that enough?" I say laughingly.

"For now."

"What about later?"

"Later...later I want a love like yours. So utterly destructive, but so incredibly indestructible."

"Fireproof." I mutter.

"Isn't that a song?"

"Yeah."

She stays quiet for a second, before saying in the most accusatory tone, "Isn't that a song your dad co-wrote?"

"Shut up."

She laughs loudly, "Isn't that what Niall says to you? That you guys are fireproof?"

I don't respond.

"Oh, that's bloody twisted. Especially the fact your dad penned the song."

"He didn't pen the entire song. Only a verse or two. Uncle Liam and Lou wrote it, really."

"Still."

"Can we change the topic?"

"Oh, yes!" She exclaims, "You never told me what it was like..."

"What? What was what like?"

"You know..."

"No I—" Then I realize what she's talking about. "Janice!"

"What!? I'm curious!" She untangles herself from my embrace and looks at me, "Who else are you going to talk to about this? I'm your only choice, Ems."

I sigh, conceding, "Yes, you know you are."

"So?"

"So..."

"What was it like?"

"I told you didn't I?"

"You most certainly did not. You told me what happened afterwards, not during or before."

"Must I really?"

"How about I ask questions and you say yes or no?"

"Fine."

We both lay on our backs and stare at the ceiling.

"Did you plan it?"

"No."

"Did he initiate it?"

"No."

"Oooh Emma!"

"That's not a question."

"Right, okay. Did he hesitate?"

"Yes."

"Because he didn't want to hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Was there foreplay?"

"Yes. But not much."

"Straight to the point! Oh god." Janice mutters. "Alright, okay. Hmmm."

"This is incredibly uncomfortable." I mumble.

"How was his bod? Was it heavenly?" Janice asks, clearly ignoring me.

"Yes, god yes."

"Oh, what enthusiasm." She says laughingly. "Did he take care of you first before finishing?"

"..."

"Answer me."

"Yes."

"I can practically hear how flushed you are. It was bloody amazing wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Was he huge?"

"God damn it Janice. Enough." I say grabbing one of her pillows and covering my face with it.

"Do you love him more than anything in the world?" She asks in a very serious, solemn tone.

"Yes."

"Good. Does he love you the same."

"I hope so."

"No, we agreed on yes or no answers."

"Yes."

She turns to look at me, propping herself up on her elbow, "Yeah, I think he does too."

"We should go to sleep." I say after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah, we do need to get up early."

I get up to leave, but am held down by Janice's small hand wrapped around my forearm, "Can't you stay? Make it like when were kids and had sleepovers?"

I smile, laying back down next to her.

"Goodnight, Ems. Please sleep."

"I will Jan, goodnight."

Just one more sleep, one more I'll be reunited with him.


	54. Chapter 54

He was there. He was across the room, silently tuning his beloved guitar. Shirtless, every muscle shown as he played with the tuning keys. I was bloody mesmerized by it. The way his fingers ran along the neck of it, the way he grasped the head of it, the muscles of his arms tightening and releasing as he pulled the strings. He acted as if he couldn't see me. As if he were alone in this brightly lit room.

Then he started to play. It was that damning melody, one that I recognize immediately, one that I start to hum. As soon as he hears me, he turns around and faces me head-on. His eyes focused on mine, peering at me questioningly.

"Ems?"

I sit up in my bed, noticing that Janice was no longer here. The sheets were no longer white, but a deep maroon color. This wasn't the room Janice and I had fallen asleep in, it was the one that Niall and I had spent that night in.

What is going on?

"Ems. Princess. Come here." He calls, still watching me. Still playing the guitar.

I try to get up from my bed, I try to go to him...but I can't. It's as if I'm frozen.

"Emma." He calls a bit louder.

"Niall." I whisper.

"Emma!"

"I can't move."

"What do you mean you can't move? Wake up then!" His voice was starting to change, and as I tried to look at him again I noticed he was fading.

"Don't go!"

"Emma? Go where? Wake up!"

And then I'm awake. In a cold sweat, panting, with my arms reaching up and out.

"What is wrong with you?" Janice says with a furrowed brow. "Were you having a dream about Niall?"

I clear my throat, put my arms down and stretch, "Yeah."

"Well, I shouldn't have waken you up then..."

"Why." My voice was eerily calm as I looked at Janice fidget nervously.

"Well, um, it's 10:30."

I turn to look at the clock, my head spinning. "What are you doing standing around then! Get the bags ready! We need to go!!"

"Ems, we're not gonna-"

"GO!" I scream.

She scurries across the room, throwing things into our packs as I run to the look to brush my teeth. By the time I get out, Janice is ready, both packs in her hands and is standing by the door.

"We're ready?"

"Yes!"

"You're sure?"

"Yes!"

"Come on then!"

–❈–

"Emma, slow down! We're not going to make it!"

"We're going to make it." I mutter angrily, keeping a steady, heavy foot on the gas pedal.

Janice grips her seat belt, her nervousness filling the cab of the car. "Ems!"

"What!?" I don't dare turn around, keeping my focus on the road.

"You have to turn left at the next intersection..." She mumbles.

"Oh."

"We still have at least half an hour left."

I turn slightly to look at the clock on the dashboard with my peripheral vision, "Half past eleven...we might make it."

"Yeah, but at the cost of my sanity." She says, continuing to grip onto the seat belt. "How did you even get over the whole driving thing so fast!? I couldn't even get you to drive that stupid little car you have, but suddenly you can drive a Land Rover?"

I don't respond, keeping an ear out for any siren or indication that I could be pulled over. I slow down just a tad, going a bit under the speed limit.

"Did you pay Zoe?" I ask.

"She wouldn't let me."

"You should have given her something." I chide.

"I left her a cute thank you note."

"You had time to write a note?"

"Surprisingly."

"Yet, you couldn't manage to wake me up?"

"You have an alarm."

"That suspiciously didn't go off."

She stays quiet. "I may have...I may have turned it off."

"Janice!"

"It was loud! And the bed was comfy!"

"If we don't make that ferry, you better be prepared to swim to Ireland!"

"I...I don't know how to."

"Should have thought of that before."

Silence, and then Janice giggles, "You're going to get to Mullingar, soaked through, looking like a bloody wet rat?"

"Shut up."

"Anything for Niall, I suppose." I could feel the smirk on her face.

"How much longer?"

"Shouldn't be much...Ems?"

"Yeah?"

"Does that say detour?"

I look ahead and see a large orange sign, sure enough it says "Detour."

"Fucking shit. Bloody fucking, fuck it all to hell!" I say slamming the steering wheel.

"Calm down." Janice says surpressing a laugh. "I'm sure it'll be okay!"

I bring the car to almost complete stop, just so I can turn and look at her, "Nothing about this screams 'okay' Jan."

"Just go around. It'll be okay!"

"It will most certainly, not be okay!"

–❈–

Twenty five minutes later, we were just about reaching the port. I was beyond tense, my shoulders, my back, my head, they were all pounding. Janice simply sat there in silence, I already knew she was beating herself up for turning off the alarm.

"It's okay." I mutter. "We'll just wait til tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, Ems. I'm sorry I ruined it."

"It's not your fault, we did stay up talking—"

"EMS!"

"WHAT!?" I break, her voice sounding as if the world were about to end.

"ITS STILL THERE!"

"WHAT!?" Sure enough staring straight ahead, there was the ferry. I look at the clock, 12:15pm. "How?"

Janice smiles, "Fate."


	55. Chapter 55

This was too perfect. It was coincidentally too perfect. Never had the world truly worked in my favor, so of course, when something like this occurs it's natural to be suspicious....right?

I mean, what is the bloody catch?

"Emma! Come on!" Janice says slamming the dashboard and getting me out of my daze, "Get a move on it then!"

"Yeah." I mutter.

We approach the Holyhead ferry, my hands grasping the wheel tightly. As soon as we're almost upon the loading dock, a balding man in baggy work clothes approaches the window. He signals for me to roll it down as I stop the car.

"Ello, love." He says, wiping his brow, the sun was hitting hard today.

"Hello..."

"Are you Emma?"

My eyes widen, "Yes."

"We've been waiting for you, love! Thought you'd never show! Had to tell Zoe you had about ten more minutes before we had to get a move on!" He chuckles, leaning against the door of the car.

"Zoe?"

"The pretty little lass that owns the inn! She called me up this morning and made me swear I wouldn't leave without you!"

"What?"

Janice mutters, "I told her we weren't going to make the ferry as we were running out."

"You did?"

She nods.

"Well then, taking the car are we?" The man asks.

"Yes." I say, still a bit shocked, trying to take the key out of the ignition.

"I'll take that then. Don't worry, it's in good hands."

"Where do we pay for our fare?" Janice asks, unbuckling her seat belt and opening the passenger door.

"Zoe took care of everything, you two are clear to go in." He says opening my door and pointing to the ferry.

"What? Really?" Janice asks.

"Yes! Now, have a good time. We'll unload the car once we hit Ireland."

"Thank you so much...." I pause, realizing I hadn't caught his name.

"Richard."

"Thank you so much Richard."

"My pleasure Miss Emma. Now please, we've been long enough! Get on with it you two!" He says shooing us away.

We watch as he starts the car and starts loading it onto the ferry, still a bit taken aback.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to repay her." I mumble, looking out at the shimmering waves.

"All you have to do is live happily ever after, Ems. That's enough for all of us."

–❈–

The ferry was rather luxurious. The Stena, its name, was plastered everywhere in a curly wannabe sophisticated font. As we attempted to get a bottle of water and a snack, we were given napkins with the obnoxious font and even my bloody bottle proudly displayed the insignia.

"What a nuisance." I mutter ripping the paper off the plastic bottle.

"Could have gotten a prettier font to match the interior of the boat." Janice says looking around in awe.

"Yeah." I say looking out the large, spacious windows.

"What's that?" She asks pointing to the charm on my neck. "Isn't that like the thing you've got painted in your room?"

"Huh?" I look down and gently touch the paper plane charm, "Yeah. It is."

"Did your dad give it to you?"

"Yeah."

"Is there another one?"

I nod.

"Wait...did he give you that one too?"

"Yep." I look away from her with a slight smile on my face.

"Did he...give you the other one too?"

"Yes."

"For...Niall?"

"Mmhmm."

She smiles, "You two are even going to have matching jewelry now, wonderful."

"Attention ladies and gentleman," announces a loudspeaker, "We will be arriving shortly to Dun Laohaire Port. Please prepare to leave the ship. We hope you had a pleasant experience upon the The Stena, and hope to see you again. Happy travels, and welcome to Ireland."

"Rather chipper isn't she." Janice says looking above me at the speaker.

"We're taking the car to Mullingar, right?" I ask grabbing my purse.

"Yes, about two hours as well."

"Are you ready?" I ask looking at her as I get up to leave.

"I think the question would be are you ready?"

As we head towards the doorway, a knot in my stomach tells me I'm not. But I push it away, instead saying "I've been waiting for what feels like forever for this day."

–❈–

After collecting the keys to our car at the front of the dock, we find ourselves back on the road again. This journey seemed endless, but, we were finally in Ireland. It felt like we were actually almost there.

"Do you want me to drive for a bit?" Janice offers.

"Maybe after we stop for a bit? I am rather hungry."

"Should we stop somewhere?"

"I'm pretty sure there should be something up ahead."

We continue driving, pasture after lush green pasture. And then we see it, a small little stop right off the side of the road.

"There?" Janice asks.

"Yeah, why not. We deserve some rest."

We were so close, so bloody close. A little rest never hurt anyone, right?


	56. Chapter 56

"Good god that was amazing," Janice says stretching as she attempts to get into the driver's seat.

After a well-deserved meal at a little eatery we had found, we had gathered the strength to finish this journey once and for all.

"Those potatoes." I say with a smile, "No wonder Niall always gains weight whenever he comes to Ireland."

"I'd eat them for every bloody meal."

Janice drives smoothly, worried that I was much too tired to continue driving tonight. Although we were both tired, we weren't that far. We weren't that far. God, we were almost there.

"Same." I say with a chuckle.

Everything felt so utterly calm. The sunset as we made out way onto the open road. Pastures upon pastures of lush greenery that made me feel so attuned to nature. Never had I had the pleasure of visiting Ireland, and although it was not the ideal situation, there was nothing wrong with taking advantage of it, was there?

"This place is beautiful."

"Utterly magnificent."

"At least this made for a good vacation."

"Vacations mean relaxation, nothing about this situation is relaxing."

"I think you're at peace now." She mutters.

"I guess." I look around me, my body physically and mentally at ease. The sights, the comfort, the mere thought of being reunited with him. I was on cloud nine. Of course I was at peace now. I was almost there.

"Then for the next hour, this is a vacation."

"Until we get to Niall's?"

"Exactly."

"What would I do without you, Jan?"

"Crash and burn."

We both laugh, "I guess so."

–❈–

"Janice?"

"Yeah?"

"Does something smell funny to you?"

She furrows her brow, but doesn't turn to look at me. The road was almost completely enveloped in darkness, the street lights only starting to lazily flicker on.

"I think we should open a window." She says sniffing the air around her.

"Janice."

"What?"

"What's that light on the dash?"

She looks down and looks back up, "It says the temperature is too high." She shrugs.

"Janice! Pull over!"

She breaks hard, pulling over on the side of the road. "What?" She says turning to look at me, "What does that even mean?"

I direct her attention outside our window and her mouth slacks, "Is that coming from us?"

Smoke, it was rising rapidly up into the night sky. It smelled as if the car were about to set on fire and with it I felt my hopes burning up in flames as well.

"Get out of the car. Now." I say, undoing my own seat belt and grabbing my pack.

"Is this really happening?" Janice says slamming the car door shut, "I bet the Beetle would have made it all the way to Niall's."

"Who do we call?" I say nervously. "It's Saturday night. I'm pretty sure everything is closed Sunday. What do we do?"

"We're only a half hour away from Niall's."

"But the car isn't usable anymore. We can't drive in that thing! It's about to burst into flames!" I say angrily pointing at the car.

"But only one of us has to go to Niall's." She says with a knowing look on her face.

"Janice, I can't just walk there."

"Why not, it's not that far!"

"I don't know this area!"

"Emma." She grabs my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes, "You have a fucking map! Stop making excuses and go. You've been waiting for this day for much too long, don't let anything stop you now."

"Jan."

"I'll call your dad, let him know what's happened. He can get some help to us by later tonight. But you, I want you to go! Go get him already! I'm a big girl I can take care of this. But the rest, the rest you need to do on your own."

"What happens if I fail? What if I get lost, or if he didn't want me to come to him."

She looks at me with a frustrated look upon her face, and immediately I knew I was being ridiculous. But still, she pushed me, "I'll be right there to catch you, babe. You call me and I'll run to you, no matter where you are. But you need to do this okay? Go get him already! It's fucking fate, Emma. It's all up to you now."

"Okay." I say, tightening my pack onto my back.

"Get out of here!"

I pull out the map and directions from my pocket before enveloping Janice in a tight squeeze. "I love you, Jan."

"You too, Ems."

And with that, I sprint. I head forward, running into the damp night. Hoping that this wasn't all for nothing. Hoping that soon I'd be with him.

–❈–

Wrong, so utterly wrong. As always, I was wrong. Fate is not on my side, it may have led me to him, but it sure as hell won't let me do anything about it. I sit on the side of the road, drenched in water. I couldn't have possibly made it more than a mile before the heavens unleashed a storm mightier than any I have seen in my nineteen years. It was utterly absurd.

My hair drips onto dark pavement, and I can at least console myself with the fact that if anyone were to find me on this deserted road, in the pathetic state that I am in, at least my tear drops will have mixed with the pouring rain and I won't look as pathetic as I feel. How bloody stupid to think I could have made it on foot. How bloody stupid to think this would all work out. I was wrong, fucking wrong.

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have tried to look for him.

I open my pack, ready to pull out my cell phone and call Janice. I shiver as cold drops hit my shoulder, my face, every inch of me.

I push through the first layer of clothes, desperately searching for my phone when I touch it. I feel it. The hard edges of the box with the paper plane. I pull it out feverishly, as if it is my last sign of hope and hold it in my grasp, the silver becoming speckled with water.

"He taught you how to fly, Emma. How could you both soar without each other?"

I came all this way. I've made it this far. It can't be much longer. This coldness, this bitter anger, it can't be worse than living a life without him, could it? There was no way in hell. I can't let him go, I can't give up.

"Stop making excuses and go. You've been waiting for this day for much too long, don't let anything stop you now."

They're right. They're all right. I need to stop making excuses. Everyone's fought so hard for me to be happy, for me to be with him. How could I just give up so easily after everything that's happened.

What would Niall think of me then? What about me. How could I ever possibly live with myself knowing that I was this bloody close, this bloody close, and I gave it all up because I was cold and angry.

I get up from the concrete, my eyes readjusting to the lit street. I am ready.

I am coming.

Niall, I'm ready to run to you.


	57. Chapter 57

Forgetting about everything I run. Lightning, thunder, rain against the pavement, it is all blocked out from the beating of my heart. It beats wildly, my pulse as if my heart were about to give out. But I keep running, running the fastest I ever had in the entirety of my life.

Bolts of lightening brighten the sky in flashes, and all I think of are his eyes. How the lightening mimics the light in his baby blues, how I can't deny that it's there.

I'm running out of time, I try running faster, my heart barely keeping up.

But it didn't matter, I knew without him I'd never make it out alive.

It's as if this were pushing me to go faster, as if it were giving me the stamina I needed to continue running. As if I knew I'd be alright.

There was a devil in the memory his smile, and I swear to you, it was chasing me. It was taunting me. It was pushing me to go faster. It was on a gaining spree.

It was raining, it was thundering, it was almost a bloody monsoon. But there's a moment when you finally realize that there was no way you could change the rolling tide. Every step that has led me to him has been filled with chaos, even with regret. But I knew, yes I knew, that I would be fine.

My feet patter against the pavement, as I continue. Rain drenches me, it starts falling harder. I open my arms, deciding that I would either live life to the fullest or not it all. I smile widely, turning my face upwards, allowing the rain to drench me completely and entirely.

Without him, I was never fully alive anyways. I wanted to be his, and I knew he wanted to be mine. It was undeniable, it was inevitable and I was finally ready to fight for it, not willing to get lost in the dark of the night.

I want to be free, bloody free. And I want to be free by his side. I'm done trying to fight it. I'm done trying to think that fate controls me. I control fate.

Wherever he is, is the place I belong. He may be fate, but without me running to him, it didn't matter. It was fate that chose him, but it was me that chose to keep him. It is me that is choosing to fight for him.

I will never look back now. I have chosen my road. I'm bloody running down it.

I am finally ready to run to him.

Running.

Running.

Running.

I'm finally running to him.

Of course there's the future in my life I can't foresee, I don't know if down the line we'll argue. If we'll get bored of each other, if he'll scream and I'll cry.

I know that people will criticize. But accepting him, accepting my fate is only the beginning.

But I know, yes I know, we'll be alright.

I know that this is only the beginning. I know that the rest is unforeseeable. That the rest will only be more difficult. That it can't possibly be perfect forever. But god damn it, it didn't matter. As long as he is with me, as long as he is beside me, the rest didn't fucking matter. As long as he holds my hand, as long as I know he has my back, I know I'll never get lost in the dark of night.

As I run, as I am getting drenched by the cold storm, something lights within me. It is not the thunder nor the flashes of light, its knowing that wherever he is, is the place where I belong.

I have never felt more free, I have never felt more young. My body no longer shivers, I'm no longer cold. And I smile.

I know that this is only the beginning of my life. The beginning of my life with him.

This is only the beginning, and I am ready to run.

This time I am ready to run for it. Ready to fight for it.

I'd give everything that I've got for this love.

It's been eight bloody years, I've been waiting hopelessly for eight years. Never did I think that I would be running in the middle of the night to him. Never did I think that he would look at me the same way I look at him. Never did I think I could feel something like this. Never.

I love him. I love him more than anything in the bloody world.

For him I would run a thousand miles over.

I am ready to run any bloody distance for him. I am no longer afraid of the distance, the darkness, the fucking excuses. No more.

No.

I am afraid of a life without him, that is the most frightening thing I can think of.

This time I am running, I ready.Wherever he is, is the place I belong.

I want to be free, I want to be his. I want to be there with him, every single day for the rest of my life.

I will be there soon Niall, I will be there soon.

I'm ready, and I know you are too.

I'll be there soon.


	58. Chapter 58

"Where in the bloody hell am I?" I mutter as I stand under a large tree, watching as the storm now diminished to a drizzle. My entire body was soaked, my pack included. So when I took out the directions and map from my pocket, I was relieved to see it was all still readable.

I twist my hair to let out the excess water and almost immediately sneeze as a sudden wind passes by, shaking the tree and bringing a bit of a chill.

I was currently heading in the right direction, and it looked like I was about a few minutes away. Could it be I've finally made it?

As I look up and around, I notice that the night was beginning to look clearer. The drizzle subsiding almost entirely. And that's when I see it.

Past the hill, past the dark greenery, there was a row of houses. None different from the others. Except in one, there was still a light on. That had to be the one. He always talked about his house. About how large and lavish it was, how it stuck out from all the others.

"It looks the same, but it doesn't." He would always say.

And I would furrow my brow and retort, "That doesn't even make any sense."

I never thought I would see it, I never thought I would know instinctively which one it was. But I do. I do.

I thought he was being ridiculous, but he wasn't. It did look the same, but at the same time it was so different. There was a slight slant to it, a certain...a certain something that radiated from it. I didn't even know what to call it. And as it is, I realize I'm starting to sound mad.

I smile to myself as I stuff the directions back in my pocket, putting my pack back on and retying my shoe laces. As much as my chest may have burned from the run, as much as my legs may have ached from the long distance, I felt energy coursing through my body. Nothing could stop me now.

As I started to run, the dampness of the night started to set in, but at the same time the stars started to come out. It was as if they were illuminating the road to his home. Their light set down upon me, kissing me as it did that very first night I had ran into him. The same feeling radiated from this night.

Excitement, hope, I was on the edge of something incredible.

–❈–

As I run, all I keep hearing is his bloody voice. It fucking taunts me, propelling me forward at an inhuman speed.

"Emma?"

The same conversation. It had been something that I had done constantly, replay his voice in my mind. Replay the same conversation in my foolish little brain. It was the only thing that had kept me sane all that time.

"Princess?"

And suddenly I'm fifteen again, on the edge of tears, hanging on to a childish pink telephone. And his voice was rough, not at all as I had remembered it, his Irish accent was stronger than ever, his voice still able to send chills through my body. But then again, it had been three years since I had talked to him. I was fifteen, I was stubborn, and I refused to talk to the person who had abandoned me so ruthlessly. I had given up and called him then, on the day he was marrying someone he barely even knew, because I thought it would be the last time. I thought that by him choosing someone else he was letting go of me.

I only called him to say goodbye.

"Princess, perhaps you don't want to talk to me, that's fine. I understand." His voice sounds tired, "But baby, I hope that one day you'll understand why I did all of this."

But I couldn't do it. I couldn't say goodbye. I continued my silence and heard him sigh quietly.

"I love you Emma, I promise you, one day I'll make it up to you. One day I'll be back for you. But you know I'm here for you, love. I always will be."

I tried to hold my tears back, and simply uttered "Always?"

I could hear his smile through the phone, and perhaps his own heart splitting in two, "Always, princess. Always."

Always, princess. Always.

I breathe deep, my chest burning, my heart pumping. I was getting closer. So much closer.

But memories flash, my mind swimming with his voice and touch.

"What world would allow us to be together?"

We didn't know if the world ever would, we didn't know if we could ever be together did we?

"There is no world that would. We just have to watch the one around us burn."

And it did, it burned to the bloody ground. Everything shaken to its very core.

"Good thing we're fireproof."

Fireproof, we were bloody fireproof.

My legs burn as I turn the last corner, my chest heaving.

I could see it. I could see the house, the slightly different house with the light still on. I could see a figure through the window. I could see him.

"We're fucked aren't we?" His voice replays in my mind, that cocky, knowing tone.

We were fucked in every single way. With love, you are always fucked. No, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But it isn't a good thing either. My existence now solely depends on him, if he were to disappear, if he were to have left without a trace, I would not be living. I would be merely a shell. I would be nothing.

This person that I have become, this person that I have evolved into, is thanks to him. Thanks to his love. He has made me into the best possible version of myself. He is a part of me. How could I possibly, ever, live without him?

Forget all the stereotypical bullshit that a man does not make a woman. I am not saying that. I am saying that love does. Love changes you, it changes the type of person you are, the type of things you do, the way that you act. It changes everything. Everything.

I sprint the last few feet, pulling the key hastily out of my pocket and jamming it into the keyhole. Shakily, I manage to get it in, my hands pushing the door open.

As soon as I step in, I drop my pack on his wooden floor. Looking around in astonishment at the lavish house. I breathe heavily, adrenaline coursing through my veins as I try to look for him.

The light? Where had it come from? Was it upstairs?

I take a deep breath, suddenly conscious that he could very much be sleeping and I could potentially scare the shit out of him.

One step at a time I go up, my eyes adjusting to the darkness of the hallway. But at the end of it, there was that light. I walk towards it, my heart rate increasing.

As I touch his door, my hands shaking as I push it open, I see him.

I see him.

He's asleep upon his bed, shirtless, hair tousled, his tablet next to him. I smile to myself as I walk across the room, take his tablet and place it on his dresser, take off my damp clothes, and finally turn off the lights.

I get into his bed, under the covers, throwing them over him as well. I don't allow myself to touch him just yet, but as I am contemplating it, he shifts slightly in his sleep, his eyes opening slowly only to see me. They widen immediately, but quickly recede.

He doesn't panic, he doesn't scream.

He simply envelopes me in his warm embrace and says, "That was quick. Quite a trip I imagine?"

"For you." I pause and kiss his lips, wrapping my own arms around him, "I would run a thousand fucking miles over."


	59. Chapter 59

While Niall goes to sleep almost immediately, I stay awake. It's not that I'm not tired, it's that I want to savor this moment for as long as I possibly can. But I know that won't be for long. The journey was long, the days have been stressful, and I haven't been at peace long enough to get more than three hours of sleep a night.

And while sleep is getting the best of me as well, at least I can close my eyes, lay my head on his chest and fall asleep to the beating of his heart.

If this is a dream, I don't want it to end.

I could live in it every night for the rest of my life.

–❈–

"For the love of God, please turn that fucking cell phone off."

I awaken to the sound of his raspy Irish accent, and almost bolt up immediately, "Niall?"

"What, princess?" He yawns, and tries not to open his eyes. He furrows his brow, "Can you please, please, turn off the phone?"

"Phone?"

"Yes, the thing that's been ringing all morning."

He tries to turn over, but I stop him. I untangle myself from the sheets and end up climbing upon him, straddling him, and showering him with kisses, "I found you. I found you!" I say laughingly.

He chuckles, "Ems, what did you think? It was all a dream?"

I stop for a second and look into his eyes, "It felt like it."

"You've been through a lot haven't you?"

I feign anger as I look at him, "Well, you did just up and bloody leave. How do you suppose I felt? You left!"

"Princess."

"Oh, Emma, I'll never leave. I'll always be here." I say in my mock Irish accent.

"I do not sound like that!"

"I don't sound like that!" I say widening my eyes and getting into his face, continuing my faux accent. He tips me over, pinning me onto the bed. Oh, he's fully awake now.

"I told you I don't sound like that." He snarls.

"Maybe I forgot what you sounded like since you left me for so long." I say coyly.

He smirks, "It was what, like three days?"

"You didn't have to make the journey."

"Yeah, but I had to wait, and I didn't know how long either. It could have been days," He kisses my cheek, "It could have been weeks," He kisses my forehead, "It could have been months," He kisses my other cheek, grazing it ever so slowly, "Why, princess, you might not have come at all." He presses his lips to mine, slowly kissing me. He slips his tongue into my mouth and I let out a moan. I could feel him smiling against my lips, and before I protest he pulls back and finishes what he was saying, looking at me questioningly. "Aren't I right?"

"Hmm?" I say, still obviously wanting more and dazed from what I had received.

"Never mind." He says chuckling and releasing my wrists. He gets off of me, settling back onto his own side of the bed. But I have other plans for him.

I hug him, my whole body wrapped tightly around him. I feel him tense, because I think he just realized I had shed all my clothes last night, and I fell asleep with only my undies on.

"Ems?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Hugging you."

"Ah. Well. Can you put some clothes on to do that?"

"Why?" I ask obliviously. I sit up and unwrap myself from the covers. "Am I bothering you?"

He looks at me, gulping, "Just a tad."

"Oh, well...I guess I should then." I get up slowly, so incredibly slowly. But before I even make it two steps towards my piled of disheveled clothes, I feel his hands wrap around my waist and pull me back onto the bed.

"You know what?" He says as I laugh loudly. He lays me back onto the bed, climbing on top of me and pressing his body to mine.

"What?"

"You don't need clothes."

"Why is that?"

He smirks cockily, "You're about to find out."

But as he starts butterflying kisses upon my neck, my phone starts blaring loudly.

"Noooo." He mutters into my collarbone.

I move to get up and he pleads, "Please, let it ring."

"Didn't you say it's been ringing all morning."

He sighs, "Yeah."

Finally, I manage to untangle myself from him and our bed, and pick up my phone, "Hello?"

"Emma! What happened!?" Janice's voices is a mix between anger and worry. And I realize I hadn't called her to let her know I had made it safely to Niall's.

"I...I'm with Niall."

"Since when." She says in an eerily calm voice, one much different than just moments ago.

"Since last night." I wince, ready for her to scream.

"AND YOU DON'T CALL ME!?"

"I forgot! I got caught up in the moment!"

"I bet."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Well..."

"Well?"

"Are you happy?"

I smile, "Yes."

"Then I guess that's all that matters. Just please, give your dad a call. I'm heading back to the Hills in a few hours. Your dad's coming to get me."

"Oh, okay."

"I'm guessing you're not coming with me."

I turn to look at Niall, and he winks. He fucking winks. And I swear to you I don't know whether my heart stopped or it was going at such an inhuman speed that it just went into cardiac arrest.

"N-No." I stutter.

"Well, please get home safely. And please..." She clears her throat, "Be safe."

"Yes, well, I have to go."

"Wow, already?"

"Already."

"Making up for lost time?"

"Shut up."

"Well I'll leave you two to it. Love you, Ems."

"You too, Jan."

And before I even put my phone back onto the wooden table, I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist. My breath catches and as if I wasn't having enough trouble keeping my sanity his husky voice whispers in my ear, "Where were we then?"

–❈–

Hours after, many hours after, when we're both laying intertwined, I place my palm upon his cheek and place my forehead upon his, "Niall."

"Yes?" His blue eye shimmer and my stomach goes into knots.

"Promise me you'll always let me find you."

"I'll do you one better."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll just never let you go."


	60. Chapter 60

By evening we have to muster the will to get out of our cocoon and make dinner. The sun has set, the house is dark and lit by the starlight that was sneaking in through the half shut blinds.

I smile as Niall leads me out of his room, into the spacious hallways, down the wooden stairs, and finally into the beautifully put together kitchen. He picks me up and places me upon his smooth black ceramic island, smiling, and kissing me before finally heading to the shiny silver fridge and pulling out food.

"I'm starving." I say, kicking out my bare feet.

He watches me through his eyelashes, trying to focus on putting together some kind of meal that will actually satiate us after not eating the entire day, "How does a pizza sound?"

"You have all the ingredients for a pizza?"

"No. But the place I'm about to call does."

I laugh loudly as he watches me from the other side of the kitchen. He shakes his head and smirks, "You know, I never thought my clothes would look better on you."

I look down at the flannel shirt he had given me and smile, "Well, I do have the better shape."

"That you do." He walks towards me, that flicker in his eyes. His chest was bare, his arms flexing as they tried to pick me up off the counter.

I jump off, barely resisting temptation, "Oh no you don't. You promised me food. And until I get it, I'm off limits."

"Princess." He pleads playfully walking behind me.

"No. Order the pizza and then we'll talk."

He huffs, put pulls out his phone. "Okay. I'm ordering it with meat and veggies then."

"No onion."

"But, I like onion."

"Ah, but onion does not like you." I say kissing him on the cheek and walking towards the staircase.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to call dad."

"You still haven't called him?"

I turn to look at him with a very irked look and reply, "Where have I been all day? What have I been doing all day?"

He smile sheepishly, "I'll leave you to it then."

I smile to myself, heading up the stairs and hearing him mutter into the phone. As I pick up my own phone and dial dad, I can't help but think what dad would think of all this.

Okay, so yes. He had told me to go, to be with Niall. But now that we're here, now that I'm with him...what exactly is dad thinking? Is he really okay with all of this?

"Hello?"

I smile, it felt as if I hadn't heard dad's voice in forever.

"Hi dad."

"Baby! How are you? Are you alright? Where have you been sleeping? Have you been sleeping?"

"Dad. Slow down."

"Emma, are you okay?"

I don't even think before saying, "Yes."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes."

He chuckles, "Are you still in Ireland?"

"Yes."

"When are you coming home?"

"Well, I think we're leaving in the morning."

"Oh." He breathes out, "I thought I had more time."

"More time for what?"

"Um, well..." I can imagine him leaning against our counter, nervously running his hand through his disheveled, long curly, brown hair. And I smile even harder. I really did miss dad.

"Well?"

"I thought I would have a little bit more time to...well...I don't know...adjust?"

"Dad, I think that'll take more than a few days."

"Is that Emmie?" I hear in the background on the other line, and already I know it's Ollie.

"Yes." Dad says off to the side.

"Emmie! Help! I haven't eaten in three days!" Ollie yells.

"Dad!" I yell. "Didn't I tell you not to make the bloody mac and cheese?"

"I didn't make the mac and cheese." Dad says guiltily.

"Yes he did!"

"What about mum, why didn't she make dinner?"

"Well, since I've been such an arse lately, I decided to let her have the next few weeks off. I took on all the chores."

"But dad, Ollie needs to eat."

"I'll make pancakes then." He says cheerily.

"No, dad. He needs to eat-"

"Do you want pancakes, bud?" Dad says interrupting me and obviously turning to Ollie.

"Yes!" My little brother says excitedly. I could hear him scurrying off to find the ingredients.

"Ems, you'll be back tomorrow night then?"

"Maybe the morning after? It is a long drive."

"Hmm. We made it back in a day."

"Dad, please."

"Alright. Alright. We'll talk when you get back...be safe." He says in a shakily stern tone. I could feel myself flush at those last few words.

"I...yeah. Okay." I mutter.

"I love you."

"I love you too, dad. See you in a day or two."

As I make my way to the door, Niall step into the room, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. He looks at me, that dangerous flicker lit by the starlight peeking into the room, "Where do you think you're going."

"Niall." I warn, "Pizza should be here soon shouldn't it?"

"In an hour."

"Let's head back downstairs then." I say walking towards him, ready to push him to get through the door.

But he doesn't let me. Instead he leans in and whispers in my ear, "Nah." Before picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder, and throwing me upon his bed. He chuckles as I look up at him breathlessly. "You are never leaving this bed." He mutters, kissing my neck.

"But food." I say hugging him to me.

"I'll bring it to you."

"Oh, never mind them. Keep me here forever."

"Forever?" He says looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Forever." I reassure him.

"Oh god." He says, brushing my hair away from my face as he lays beside me, "Look what you've done to me."

I smile, "What?"

"I don't think I'll ever leave this place."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Fuck no." He replies with a cocky smirk.

"Then why do you say that?"

"The fact that I find nothing wrong in wanting to spend every minute of my life in this bed with you, don't you think that's a little off?" He says with an amused look on his face.

"You do realize you're speaking to the person who would happily do the same thing."

"True."

"Then?" I ask.

"I guess we'll just have to keep takeout menus in the dresser drawers."

I laugh, curling into his warm side. His plan didn't sound too bad. I would happily spend the rest of my life, in this bed, beside the one man I have ever loved, basking in the light of the beautiful night sky.


	61. Chapter 61

I knew from the very beginning, from the moment that I realized I loved Niall, that this would not end well. That the love I had for him, the love that was deep within my heart would ultimately have to stay there. That I would never be able to express it to him.

But here we were. Eight years later, ready to begin again. Together.

"Princess?"

I look up to see Niall, pack in hand, keys in the other, ready to close the door to his house, paper airplane glimmering from around his neck. He looks at me with a smile, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, of course."

Finally, we were heading back home. Albeit, two days later, at least we had managed to leave Niall's house. Honestly, I could live here forever with him, never wanting to see the rest of the outside world. There was no point. Everything I could ever possibly need was right there with him. He was it. And it made it increasingly difficult to pack up and return to reality. 

I take one last look at his home, and step out of the door, my body pressing against his slightly as I struggle to get out. He smirks at me, purposely not moving an inch, knowing that we both wouldn't fit through the door.

"You could move." I say looking up at him pointedly.

He chuckles, "Nah."

I hear him slamming his door as I approach his car. He opens the door for me, throws my pack in the back and finally gets in the driver's seat.

"Primrose Hills, here we come." He says smilingly as he presses buttons into his GPS.

"Oh God." I breath out. Knowing that we were less than six hours away from being reunited with dad. Perhaps, perhaps things will work themselves out like they have so far. Maybe things will go back to normal.

"Emma?"

"Yeah."

He starts the car, slipping on his Ray Bans before pulling out of the driveway. "I don't know how things will work out between your dad and I..."

Why does he always do that? Am I that easy to read?

"And I don't know what the public will think. Hell, I don't even know how my own family will feel."

"Yeah. I know."

"But, I know one thing..."

"What's that?"

"We've made it this far, princess. We've made it this far together."

"Yeah. Yeah we have."

As the car starts upon a more barren road, his hand slips into mine. His large, callused fingers intertwining with my own.

"Do you think..." I start, not quite looking at him. "That this is wrong. That maybe, maybe we really shouldn't be together?"

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't know. Do girls usually fancy their Uncles?"

"What about that Oedipal complex? Girls loving their fathers and all that fucked up psychology shit? Don't they have that for Uncles?"

I look up at him blankly,"First of all, that would be boys loving their mothers. The girl version would be...Electra complex? Anyways, that's beside the point."

"Should I start calling you Electra then?" I slap his hand and he laughs loudly, "Just a joke, Ems."

"What do you think the world will say? What will they say about you dating the daughter of your best friend?"

"What does it matter? I'm a free man. I can do as I please. And if Harry's...alright....then why should anyone else say shit about it?"

"I doubt dad's alright."

"Well, he's on his road to being about there right?"

"Maybe after he gets in a few more hits."

Niall unconsciously touches his nose and I know he's thinking of the solid punch had landed not too long ago.

"Look, Emma, baby...we're fucking fireproof, okay? People can say whatever the fuck they want. Fuck them if they don't think we don't belong together. Iknow we belong together. Don't you?"

"Yeah. I know. I know we do. But Niall?"

"Yes?"

"For the love of God, don't call me baby. I really don't need daddy issues as well."

He looks at me, a slight flush across his face as he realizes that that's what dad calls me. His baby. And he's caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to vomit.

"So, how much longer do we have until we get home?"

"A long ways, princess."

"Well, I do like the scenic route." I mumble, holding his hand tightly.

"Any route would do just fine, as long as you hold my hand all the way there."

"So fucking cliche." I mutter, hiding my smile.

"But imagine if I weren't a cliched fuck. Who else would tell you that your eyes shine like the sun upon waves ? Who would finish your sentences?"

"I never thought Niall James Horan was a cliched man though. I just thought..."

"Thought?"

"That you could never be better than in my wildest dreams."

"And did I live up to the expectations?"

"No."

He turns to look at me, tipping his head so I could see his baby blue eyes.

"You surpassed them in every way imaginable."


	62. Chapter 62

Six Months Later

"I'm so happy you're home Emmie!"

I smile as Ollie presses his head against my chest, not quite wanting to let me go yet. Because the term had started I've been away at Uni. My baby brother had only seen me during the Holidays, during which I spent most of my time with Niall. Yes, I admit this unabashedly now. I've become one of those girls. But what can I say...love is a funny thing.

"Aw, I missed you too bud," I say ruffling his now long blonde hair.

But, of course, dad, was more excited than all to have me back home.

"Okay, that's enough." He says, moving Ollie away from me, only to settle in the spot next to me and wrap his arms around me. "It's my turn."

"Dad. You've been hugging me since I got home yesterday."

"And I'll keep doing it til you leave the day after tomorrow."

I was only home for my birthday, seeing that they all wanted so badly for me to spend it with them. Of course, I couldn't refuse, seeing as Niall would be here as well. And it would be rather suspicious if Niall went on holiday on this specific weekend.

"Alright, Harry! Enough. She's never going to want to come back home if you keep this up." Mum says walking in, grabbing dad's arm, and pulling him off the sofa in one tug. "I need help in the kitchen anyways. Give her some space."

Dad reluctantly walks away, mumbling, "She lives away from home, I don't see how much more space she needs."

I smirk to myself seeing dad's pout. As I am about to turn on the television, the bell rings. I smile to myself already knowing who it would be. Of course though, I would let mum get the door. Couldn't seem too over eager.

As the door opens, I hear everyone exchange pleasantries. When dad gets to Niall, I hear the wind knocked out of Niall as dad clapped him in the back. Hard.

Surprisingly dad was taking the situation in stride. Of course, he and Niall's relationship was semi-normal. As normal as it could be. But then again, it was much more violent than I had remembered it being. Niall constantly had bruises on his back from dad's "hello pats".

As I hear the commotion dying down in the kitchen, I know that Niall is about to walk into the living room. I try to act natural, but the excitement within me bubbles over. By the time he's standing in front of me I'm grinning like an idiot.

"Hello princess." He says, sitting down next to me. Knowing that dad was watching from around the corner, he wouldn't attempt to do anything. We would have to settle for a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi." I say, not wanting to take my eyes off of him.

I hadn't seen Niall either since the holidays ended. When dad had caught wind that Niall could possibly be coming for nightly visits at my dorm, he paid every security guard at uni to report to him who entered my room. I'm sure he has even a list of out coming and incoming calls and texts.

His obsession was maddening.

"Happy Birthday, Emma." He says enveloping in his arms. Oh, how I had missed his strong arms around me. "I left the key to the house under the blue plate on the counter. You tell him you're spending the night at Janice's and I'll bring you round hers by morning." He whispers into my ear.

I smile to myself.

Where there are controlling parents, there is always a way to get around them.

"Emma?" I look up to see dad standing before us and try not to sigh.

"Yes?"

Before he responds, he makes it a point to sit directly between Niall and I, "Are you ready to cut your cake?"

I look over dad's shoulder to see Niall about to piss himself from laughter. He thought that dad's cold shoulder was hilarious, and well, that he deserved it. After all, he was "fucking his mate's daughter" as he so eloquently put it.

The way it went now a days, was really rather comedic. Niall. Thirty seven year old Niall, now has to find ways to meet me behind my father's back. In all honesty, Niall is not his age. He never has acted his age. And this situation has done nothing but reinforce the fact that he is a bloody teenager.

"Yes, dad. Let's cut the cake." I say with a very pointed smile. Dad doesn't seem to get it, or doesn't want to get it. Either way, he grabs me by the hand, lifting me off the couch and leads me into the kitchen.

Mum, Ollie, Janice, all stood around the island, a beautiful cake in the middle of it.

"Wow." I mutter, looking at the three story cake, beautifully made with sugar flowers.It said Happy 20th Emma in large loopy letters. 

I smile to myself as I feel Niall's large hand on my lower back. It wrapped around, pulling me to him. Dad noticed, of course, but somehow did not say anything. His smile became tighter, but I think it was from the sheer force of trying not to say something.

"Emmie what are you going to wish for?" Ollie says pulling on my jumper sleeve.

I look down at him and smile, "I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"You know why."

Janice smiles as she watches Ollie trying to get my wish out of me and says, "Come on, Ems. I want to know too."

"No! I can't say it out loud." I say feigning annoyance.

"Can you whisper it in my ear?" Niall says coming closer, his cheek almost brushing mine.

Dad clears his throat, loudly. Everyone turns to look at him. "You alright there, love?" Mum says with a very annoyed look on her face. She was rather cross about dad's childish "feud" with Niall. If you could even call it that.

Dad shakes his head, "Just got something in my throat is all. Emma, baby, why don't you blow out your candles." He says grabbing a lighter and sparking each candle.

"Traditionally, you're supposed to sing Happy Birthday before I do that."

Dad gives me a look, but leads everyone into singing "Happy Birthday to you..."

And as they sing, I can't help but keep repeating my wish. I just keep repeating the single phrase over and over again, until I hear the final "Happy Birthday to you."

When my breath leaves my lips, I release my wish as well.

Fireproof. Let us keep being fireproof.

It's all I could ever want really. I just hope we're always fireproof.

THE END


End file.
